Chapter 50 Lies, Blames and Hurt
Xander
"You are being so unfair right now!" Lucinda hisses, withdrawing her hand from mine sharply, the cut almost fully healed now.
My head snaps up, anger suddenly rising within me. Why am I suddenly the villain here when I'm just trying to protect her?
"What?" I grind out.
Her royal blue eyes are sharp and flash in warning. "I was trying to tell you, I don't know why you won't listen!"
"I'm only trying to protect you," I reply.
She scoffs. "Oh please, I don't remember asking you for it," she retorts.
"That's enough, Lucinda," I snap. "Why the hell are you defending her?" My body vibrates with anger, a little twinge pricks in my chest as I remember the look of hurt in her eyes, but I won't be fooled by it.
Vanessa always somehow, finds herself in the middle of trouble, and this is no different.
But why then do I feel this heaviness sitting uncomfortably in my chest?
Lucinda groans, throwing her hands up. "You're not even listening to me! I told you she has nothing to do with this."
I ignore her, only taking her left hand to inspect the wound, but feel relieved when I see that it's almost completely healed now, thanks to her supernatural abilities. Good thing, it wasn't more than that.
"Go to your room and rest, Lucinda, I'll see you later."
She scowls. "What about the meeting we're support have in an hour's time?"
"Don't worry about it, I'll handle it," I reply.
"Okay," she says and walks out of the kitchen.
That's when I see it. A small knife tinged with blood.
"What's this?" I ask, my eyes trained on the object.
Lucinda stops a foot away from the door and tilts her body partially, raising one eyebrow. "What is what?"
I point to the knife on the counter. "This."
She almost rolls her eyes but catches herself in time. "That's the knife I cut myself with," she replies.
"What?"
She actually rolls her eyes this time. "I said, that's the knife I cut myself with. I was trying to cut some apples for myself, but since I don't have much experience with kitchen utensils like that, I ended up hurting myself," she explains.
The room tilts. What is she talking about?
"You cut yourself with this knife? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Moon Goddess, Xander. That is what I have been telling you. Were you not listening and were only focused on blaming Vanessa for this?" she asks in exasperation.
"I-I..."
I have nothing to say, no excuse whatsoever for what I had done. No wonder she had given me that look - of disappointment and resignation, like I had already made up my mind of her being the culprit.
"Why did you even need to? Do you hate her that much?"
That's the problem here. I don't hate Vanessa, especially not now.
"I need to see her," I say abruptly.
Lucinda shakes her head. "No. Don't go to her now. She's currently upset and your presence will only make things worse," she declares.
My jaw clenches and I consider her words for a few moments. "I need to apologize to her. Now." Without waiting for another reply, I walk past her.
"Xander!" she starts to protest but I'm already out of the door, slamming it shut behind me.
The first place I head to is the training grounds. That is almost always her first point of contact when she needs to let off steam.
Lots of wolves are already there, training as usual but I don't see a particular mop of ginger-red hair amongst the crowd.
I search the gardens and the library also, her two other most favourite spots, but there's no sign of her there either.
What if...?
I shake my head. No, she wouldn't leave again, right?
There's only one place left to look now.
My steps feel heavier the closer I get, and I almost convince myself to turn back around, but I keep going.
Stopping in front of her door, I hesitate, wondering if I should knock or call for her.
What if she ignores me and decides she doesn't even want to hear my voice, talk more of seeing my face?
I take a deep breath and rap my knuckles on the door thrice.
No answer.
I do it again.
Still no answer.
I'm about to try again for the third time when I hear the click of the door unlocking.
It opens a few inches and a pair of dark, electric blue eyes stare at me coldly. It isn't even the menacing kind, it's...empty.
Somehow, that even cuts deeper than a knife.
"What the fuck do you want?" she hisses. Even her voice is cold.
I swallow. "I came here to apologize–"
"Oh, so Cinderella finally explained what happened and now you feel guilty and want a reconciliation?" she snarks.
Cinderella? Oh, she means Lucinda...
"Yes. Lucinda told me what really happened. I'm sorry, Vanessa, I shouldn't have blamed you like that. It was–"
"Convenient," she cuts in. "It was so easy for you to accuse me. The jealous, and bitter bride. What a perfect scape goat for that circumstance," she laughs bitterly.
I clench my fingers to stop myself from reaching for her, my chest aching at the pain in her voice.
"Vanessa–"
"Save it. I don't need your apology, so save your breath."
"But I owe you one."
She laughs. "Oh, aren't you so proper, your Highness. Well, I don't need your fucking apology. Who knows, you might need it when you need to blame me for something else that happens to your precious Cinderella," she seethes. Her face is now red and eyes hateful.
I stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or what to say to make this suffocating tension between us vanish, like it never even existed.
"Lucinda and I were engaged once," I start. Her eyes still burn with anger but also spark with curiosity. "We grew up together, and I had never been the type to make friends. So she had been my only friend since we were five," I pause. Remembering all those times Lucinda had always encouraged me to do mischievous things together, even with a strict father like mine.
"When we turned twenty-one, and we each were still yet to find a mate, our families thought it was a good idea to strengthen the bond between the two neighboring packs through marriage by their children.
For reasons, I won't say just yet, Lucinda left three years later."
Vanessa's face has now morphed from cold indifference to something else I can't identify.
"To where?" she asks..
"Her family relocated to England and I haven't seen her since until now. My point is, Vanessa, Lucinda - apart from Max - has been the one person in my life who has ever really stayed by me when I had no one else - the only woman, precisely - and I never want anything to happen to her. So seeing her hurt like that made me..."
"You were scared," Vanessa concludes.
"Yes," I reply, simply.
"But I got hurt, and that doesn't make your accusations justifiable in any way," she whispers.
"I know, and I'm sorry."
She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a shaky inhale. "Just...go," she breathes.
The weight in my chest grows three times stronger, and I hate the feeling.
"Vanessa..." her name, heavy on my tongue.
Her only response is shutting the door with a loud click, echoing in the now suffocating silence.
I stand there, waiting, hoping she'll open it once again.
She never does.
With my head bowed, I trudge back to my own room, the guilt of what I had just done, swallowing me whole.