Chapter 101

Sarina

I pretended I didn't see anything because I didn't want to entertain whatever was going through my mind. I walked out of the bathroom, carrying the clothes Maximus had taken off. My eyes quickly glanced at him, and just like before I went in, he was still holding his cell phone, looking at something that seemed important. Now and then, I'd catch him frowning before breaking into a wide smile.

I walked over to the laundry bin and put on my nightgown. As usual, I went to the dresser to dry my hair.

Sitting down, I looked in the mirror, took a deep breath, and began to comb my hair. I grabbed the hair dryer and turned it on, filling the quiet room with its noise. I glanced at Maximus through the reflection, but he remained focused on his phone. I figured he wouldn't notice me, so I just continued what I was doing.

I walked toward the bed and lay down beside him. Still, he didn't acknowledge me or even glance my way, busy as he was with his phone. I was about to ask him something, but he smiled, turned to me, and set his phone down on the bedside table. I followed his movement with my eyes.

I wanted so badly to see what he had been looking at, what was keeping him so occupied that he seemed to momentarily forget about me. Am I being selfish for wanting his attention focused on me when it's just the two of us here? He used to want that, so what changed? Why does it feel like he's the one not doing the things he used to love us doing together?

"How's work?" I asked.

"It's fine," he answered shortly, with a slight shrug.

"How fine? Like, fine, no problems?" I probed.

"What's wrong, my love? Don't you trust your husband's abilities?" he teased, though I could tell he was joking. "Come here, why are you so far away?" he said, pulling me closer to him.

I didn't know what to do or think. He smiled at me, staring intently, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd seen and noticed in him lately. "Hey, why are you crying, my love?" he asked, wiping the corner of my eyes with his thumb. I hadn't realized I was crying.

Not wanting him to notice my doubts, I made up an excuse. I didn't want to upset him if my suspicions were wrong. "I just thought… you're always working. You must be so tired…"

"Silly, why would you think that?" he asked before kissing my forehead. "Well, sometimes it does get tiring. Every day, I'm dealing with company problems. But it's all worth it, knowing that you and our kids are okay."

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing after he said that. Imagine, we're what's on his mind, while here I am, thinking all these negative things about him.

"Why are you crying? Listen to me, my wife. As the head of the family, I must provide everything you and our children need. That's how every father and husband should think."

I nodded and smiled at him so he wouldn't worry about me. "Now, let's sleep. I know you'll wake up early tomorrow to care for me and the kids."

I felt lighter after our conversation, and I slept soundly, probably with a smile on my face.

A few days passed, and I managed to forget all my doubts. But the feeling I had inside, the sense that something was missing, hadn't changed.

We were in the living room, and Maximus had just arrived when our sixth child, Chansen, came running in and tripped. Maximus quickly rushed to and comforted him, but I turned my attention to Chanden, who had been chasing him.

"Chanden! Do you see what you've done?" I snapped, causing everyone to look at me, especially the kids, and the one I yelled at seemed frozen in place. I approached him and spanked him several times on his bottom.

"That's enough," Maximus said, grabbing my hand before I could land another blow on the now-crying Chanden.

"Don't stop me, Maximus! You're not here at home, so you don't know how much patience it takes!" I shouted, turning to face him. "You have no idea how exhausting it is to keep chasing after them, cleaning up, listening to them cry! Teaching them their lessons-"

"I said stop!" Maximus shouted, too, and I froze. Only then did I hear the crying of my children, and I looked around.

Chase looked like he couldn't believe what he heard, or maybe our shouting shocked him. Chastity was softly crying with her head down. I also noticed the nannies taking the children away, probably to keep them away from me.

I shook my head at myself, realizing what I had done. Tears welled up in my eyes as I pulled away from Maximus when he tried to stop me from spanking Chanden, who was now being carried by Rowena.

I quickly turned my back on everyone and walked toward the stairs, heading to our room. I closed the door quickly after entering, but it immediately opened again. Maximus came in, his brows furrowed, staring at me.

He closed the door, and we stood there for a few minutes, staring at each other. I took a deep breath, turned my back on him, and sat at the dresser. "What's wrong?" I heard Maximus ask, but I didn't answer and kept looking at my reflection in the mirror.

I couldn't believe I had hit my child, that I had shouted at my husband. I didn't like the look on Chase's face when he stared at me, as if he felt scared of me.

"Talk to me, Sarina, what's the problem?" Maximus asked again, and I heard him walking closer to me.

"I don't know, maybe I'm just tired." I couldn't think of any other reason, so that's all I said. I took a deep breath, stood up, and faced him just as he reached me.

"I'm sorry for my outburst. I know you're tired, too, and I shouldn't add to your worries. I even dragged the kids into it. I'm really sorry."

Maximus just looked at me without saying a word, and I lowered my head in my uncertainty. "I'll just shower; maybe I'll feel better afterward." And with that, I turned my back on him. I felt his gaze follow me, and I knew he wanted to talk more, but I wasn't sure if I could handle it. I might just cry, and that's the last thing I wanted. What's happening to me?