Chapter Sixty-One

Chapter Sixty-One
“Miss? Miss?” a voice gently whispers. I open my eyes and see the nurse from earlier hovering over me. “Mr Easton is out of surgery and recovering nicely. I thought you’d like to know,” she says kindly.

I spring up, immediately feeling my head spin and throb. “Where is he? Can I see him?” I ask in a rush.

“He’s in recovery, but yes, you can go and see him.”

I throw back the covers and jump out of bed, instantly regretting it when my knees give way. Thankfully the nurse has quick reflexes and catches me, helping me back onto the bed.

“You’re not going to see anyone like that.”

“Please, I have to see him. I have to know he’s okay,” I stress, starting to panic.

“Breathe or you’ll end up passing out,” she warns. “Now stay put while I grab a wheelchair and then I’ll take you up to see him.”

I let out a deep breath. “Thank you so much,” I say appreciatively.

“Your boyfriend is very lucky to have such a concerned girlfriend,” she teases.

I frown, suddenly feeling awkward. “Actually, he’s my ex.”

Her brows raise in surprise. “Then may all exes be as caring as you. I’ll be right back.”

In no time at all the nurse returns. She helps me into a different robe, similar to a bathrobe and helps me into the chair. She pushes me through the hospital, and up to the recovery floor. As we enter Julian’s room I feel my breath get stuck in my throat. He’s laying in bed, eyes closed, his skin a little paler than what I’m used to and strapped to a few monitors, but other than that he looks fine. He just looks like he’s sleeping.

The nurse wheels me over to his bed and puts the brakes on. “He’s still coming out of sedation, but he’ll wake up soon. I’ll leave you with him and come to get you later when it’s time for your discharge,” she informs me, rubbing my back.

“Thank you. For everything you have done,” I stress sincerely.

She smiles at me and walks out, leaving me alone with Julian. I reach out and take Julian’s hand in mind, being mindful of the heart monitor on his finger. Tears prick my eyes as I lift his hand to my lips, just grateful that he’s alive and going to be okay.

“I’m right here, Julian,” I tell him, hoping he can hear me.



Something gently stroking my hair causes my eyes to flutter open. Through the blurriness, I see Julian’s sapphire eyes staring at me with a gentle smile on his stubbled face. My eyes open wide, and I sit up, giving him my full attention.

“You’re awake. How long have you been awake?” I question as he continues to stroke my hair, his thumb grazing against my bandage so lightly I can barely feel it.

“A few minutes.”

“Why did you let me sleep?”

“You looked so peaceful; I didn’t want to disturb you. How are you?” he asks, his brow knitting together with deep worry.

“Me? You’re the one who just got stabbed,” I remind him, my lip quivering as I fight back the tears.

“I didn’t ask how I am; I asked how you are,” he points out. “But if it makes you feel better, I feel fine.”

I take in a deep breath and think how to answer him.

“I really don’t know. I’m feeling a lot of things right now and I have a bit of a headache, but physically I’m alright.”

He nods, reaching out and grabbing a hold of my hand my hand gently, his fingers gently brushing against the bandage around my wrist. “When I saw you like that…I’ve never been so scared and angry in my whole life.”

I squeeze his hand holding it between both of mine. “I felt that way seeing you get stabbed. I was so scared you were going to die,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.

“Between the way I treated you and letting Carter into your life, I probably deserve it.”

My tears dry up and I look at him with anger and frustration. “You think because you say and do a few shitty things it means you deserve to die? That’s insane, and as for Carter, you didn’t let him into my life. He only noticed me because of that stupid night you two got into a brawl at the lounge. So unless you’re now trying to claim responsibility for my career choices, Carter coming into my life had nothing to do with you. Got it?” I say firmly.

Julian looks at me carefully and gently nods his head. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I take a breath to calm down and look at him carefully. “Why did you come to my place tonight?”

He sighs and stares up at the ceiling. “I’ve been trying to reach out to you for weeks. I never thought you’d go back to your apartment after what happened, but since I tried everywhere else it was my last hope. I wasn’t going to beg you to come back, I knew that boat had sailed. I just…I regretted everything about that night. I regret a lot of things I’ve done to you.” He looks over at me with tears in his eyes. “I didn’t mean any of the things I said that night. Especially about hooking up. I swear I didn’t do it. I know it doesn’t change anything, I…guess I just needed you to know,” he sighs in defeat.

I nod, taking in his words as I gently rub the back of his hand.

“I think you definitely meant some of the things you said, and you’re only lying to yourself if you think otherwise.”

He takes a deep breath, wincing slightly. “No. You’re right,” he nods. “When I realised you left…I just fell apart. But it was the wake-up call I needed. You were right about me pushing people away and I realised I have no one to blame but myself and I needed to do something about it, so I booked myself in for therapy. I’ve only had one session so far, but I intend to keep going.”

I smile at him, proud and relieved to hear he’s actually doing something to help himself. “Julian, that’s fantastic news. I’m really glad to hear that, and at least now you’ll have even more to talk about,” I tease.

He chuckles, clutching his stomach and groaning, “Don’t make me laugh.”

I smile apologetically, “Sorry. But I really am glad you’re taking this step.”

“I just wish it didn’t take me hurting you to get here,” he laments sombrely, freeing his hand from mine and holding it to my cheek.

I sigh sadly, holding his hand to my bruised cheek. “Me too.”

“I know I’ve never done a good job of showing it, but I want you to know…I love you, Nalani. I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you and I’m so sorry I couldn’t be better for you and treat you the way you deserve,” he expresses, tears filling his gemstone eyes. “And saying it now won’t fix things, but after what just happened I don’t want to live another moment without you knowing how I feel.”

My eyes burn from unshed tears as I lean down and kiss his cheek softly, pressing my forehead against his cheek as I breathe in the lingering scent of his cologne.

“I love you too,” I whisper, gently placing my arm over him and holding him comfortingly as he wraps his arm around me.

We stay like that, holding each other in silence. Being each other’s comfort and support. I don’t know how we heal as individuals from this ordeal and everything else we’ve gone through, but I’m hoping this is at least a step in the right direction for us both.