Chapter 93 Li

Chapter 93 Li
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE — EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED

Chloe meets me for coffee, still fuming on my behalf.

"He just sat there? After you said it?"

I wrap both hands around my cup. "His whole life, everything he's ever said out loud has gotten twisted into something else. Used against him. I think saying it back scares him more than losing me would."

Chloe softens slightly. "I think that boy is emotionally constipated." She almost smiles. "Doesn't make the wait less brutal, though."

"No. It doesn't."

She squeezes my hand. "Just don't shrink yourself down waiting for him to catch up, okay?"

"I won't."

"Good. You really love him, huh."

"Apparently. Enough to say it before I meant to."

Hours later, my phone buzzes while I'm helping my mom with dinner.

Hey. Can we talk tonight?

I don't answer right away. I finish helping, wipe down the counters, sit through dinner distracted enough that Danny asks twice if I'm okay.

An hour later: I know you're probably mad. I would be too. I just need you to know I'm not avoiding this.

I stare at it a long time before typing back.

Okay. Tomorrow.

That's fair. Thank you for not shutting the door completely.

My mom watches me from across the kitchen. "Everything okay?"

"Working on it."

She squeezes my shoulder. "That's usually the most honest answer you give me. Whatever it is, I trust you to handle it the way you handle everything else. Carefully. Eventually."

I lie awake that night, replaying Chloe's word. Emotionally constipated. It fits, somehow, in a way that makes me feel less angry and more sad for him.

My phone buzzes once more.

Still thinking about tomorrow. Just wanted you to know.

Me too.

Nervous. Which is stupid, probably, given everything else I've faced down without flinching.

Not stupid. This is different than facing your dad or the cameras.

Yeah. It really is.

Get some sleep, Caleb.

You too, Mia. Tomorrow.

I wake early, the conversation sitting at the front of my mind the second my eyes open. Chloe texts before I even leave for school.

Today's the day. You've got this.

I hope so.

You do. Whatever happens, you handled the waiting with more grace than I would have managed.

I laugh despite myself, grab a granola bar, and head toward whatever today has waiting, nervous and ready to finally have an answer either way.

My mom notices my nerves the second I walk downstairs.

"You look ready to take a final exam."

"Caleb's coming over tonight. To talk."

"About the love you thing?"

"About the love you thing."

She studies me. "Whatever he says tonight, Mia, you handled the waiting with more patience than I think I would have managed at your age."

"I don't feel patient. I feel like I might throw up."

She squeezes my shoulder. "That's usually what patience feels like from the inside. You're allowed to ask for what you need, not just accept whatever he offers."

I change twice before settling on something simple, nothing that feels like performing, just myself, plain and a little nervous, waiting for a boy about to tell me the truth, whatever shape it takes.

Danny leans into my doorway while I'm getting ready. "You're dressed like you're gearing up for battle."

"Kind of feels like it."

"Caleb's coming over?"

"Caleb's coming over."

"You want me to hide the good snacks so he has to leave fast if he says something dumb?"

"That's oddly strategic for you."

He grins, leaning against my doorframe. "I contain multitudes, same as Chloe. For real, though. You okay?"

"Nervous. Mostly nervous."

He shrugs, twelve years old but somehow wiser than he has any right to be some days. "That's normal, probably. This is a big deal kind of conversation. Whatever happens, you'll be okay. You always figure it out."

"Thanks, Danny."

"Anytime." He heads back to his room, and I finish getting ready alone.

Caleb texts right as I'm about to head downstairs.

Almost there. Just wanted you to know I'm nervous too.

Good. Means you actually care how this goes.

Course I care. More than almost anything else right now.

See you in a few minutes.

I set my phone down, take one last look in the mirror, and head downstairs to wait for him on the front steps instead of inside, needing the cold air to keep my head clear before whatever tonight actually brings.

His car pulls up right on time, headlights cutting through the early dark. He gets out slower than usual, hands in his pockets, something folded tucked halfway inside his jacket that I don't notice until later.

"Hey," he says, stopping a few feet away.

"Hey yourself."

"You look like you've been out here a while."

"Needed the air."

He sits down on the step beside me instead of suggesting we go inside, close enough that our shoulders touch. "Fair enough. I've been thinking about this conversation basically nonstop since last night."

"Me too."

He looks at me steady, calmer now that he's actually here. "Good. Means we're both taking it seriously. Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

He doesn't move right away, just sits there beside me a moment longer, both of us watching the street instead of each other, the cold air doing nothing to rush either of us toward whatever comes next.

"For what it's worth, whatever I say tonight, none of it changes how much I've come to depend on you being in my life. Just wanted you to know that going in."

"Okay."

"Okay," he echoes, and stands, offering me a hand up off the step. I take it, the cold no longer something I need to escape, just the backdrop to whatever tonight turns into.

He doesn't lead me inside right away, just stands there on the front walk a moment longer, both of us breathing frost into the space between us.

"You okay?" I ask, since he's the one who looks nervous now.

He almost laughs at himself. "Getting there. Never thought a conversation could feel scarier than facing my father in that tower downtown. Guess I was wrong."

"This is different."

He squeezes my hand once. "Yeah. It really is. Let's go in before we both freeze out here rehearsing things we're just going to say wrong anyway."

I laugh despite the nerves still sitting in my own chest, and we head up the front steps together, whatever tonight brings waiting just past the door.

Chloe texts one more time right as we reach the porch light.

He there yet?

Right beside me. Walking in now.

Good luck. Text me after, whatever happens.

I will.

I slide my phone into my pocket, Caleb holding the door open for me the same way he has since that first press conference, and step inside toward whatever tonight is finally going to give us, my mom's kitchen light glowing warm just past the hallway ahead, the whole house quiet and waiting around us.

My mom looks up from the couch when we walk in, taking one look at both our faces before setting her book aside.

"You two look like you're about to defuse a bomb."

"Feels a little like that," Caleb admits.

"Want some tea before whatever this is happens? Sometimes a warm mug helps more than people expect."

"I'm okay, thank you."

"Suit yourself." She stands slowly, patting Caleb's shoulder on her way past. "Whatever you two need to talk through, take your time. I'll be in the kitchen if either of you needs anything."

She disappears down the hall, and Caleb exhales like he's been holding his breath since the porch.

"Your mom's kind of amazing."

"She has her moments."

"I mean it. Most parents would've asked what's going on. She just offered tea."

"She trusts me to handle my own stuff. Doesn't mean she isn't listening from the kitchen, though."

He laughs, some of the tension finally breaking. "Good to know."

We sit down on the couch, the same one Danny usually claims for video games, and for a second neither of us says anything at all, the whole house settled quiet around us, waiting for whichever one of us finds the courage to start first.