Chapter 45 I Can’t Forget
Iva’s P.O.V.
Two Weeks Later
Every day for the past fourteen days, Will has tried to win me back as his life depends on it. And maybe, in a way, it does.
The first morning of the second week, I woke up to the scent of roses, dozens of bouquets waiting outside my door, each one with a note tucked inside:
“Sorry.”
“Forgive me.”
“I miss you, Professor.”
I read every one of them with tears in my eyes, my heart heavy.
And one night, I heard a rustling sound by my window. I opened it and found Will standing on the ledge like some stubborn idiot, holding a bunch of glowing balloons, all printed with the same word: SORRY.
My heart melted.
And yet… I shut the window.
Because no matter how many grand gestures he makes, no matter how many sweet memories haunt me in the quiet moments, we always come back to that night.
Every time I close my eyes, I see it,
Will, with another woman, and their lips touching.
And it tears me apart, every single time.
I miss him. I miss us. But the pain is still fresh. The wound is too raw to heal overnight.
After the last lecture, I’m organising my files in the empty classroom when the door clicks shut. I don’t even have to turn around.
I know, it’s Will.
“Not again, Will. I’ve to go.” I turn around and walk over to the door.
Before I can take another step, he grabs my arms and pins me back against the wall. His eyes lock onto mine with desperation, and he moves dangerously close to me.
His warm breath brushes against my skin, accelerating my heartbeat. “Iva, it’s been days.” He asks, frustrated. “Why can’t you just forgive me?”
I open my mouth, but he doesn’t let me speak. He looks at me, so damn irked and tired, grabbing my arms tighter. “Don’t forget. I forgave you too. For lying to me. For meeting someone else behind my back.”
His grip softens as he composes himself, shutting his eyes for a second. When he opens them again, they’re filled with immense longing and pain. And then he leans his forehead against mine, our breath mingling.
He whispers, “I’m tired, Professor. I fucking miss you. I miss sleeping next to you, with your face tucked into my chest. I miss your voice waking me up. I miss the sound of your laughter when you tease me. I miss everything about you.”
His voice shakes.
Then I feel it. A tear. Rolling down his cheek… and onto mine.
And just like that, my heart melts.
“I miss you too, Will,” I admit, and tears blur my vision as they slip down my face.
“But no matter how much I’m dying to forgive you…” My voice is filled with immense pain, “I just… I can’t forget the image of you kissing someone else. It’s burned into my mind. It won’t go away.”
I look into his eyes, begging him to understand.
“That kiss doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m missing your lips, your touch. I’m craving you, Iva. Only you. Please… forgive me.” He apologises, his eyes fixed on me.
“What if it was me, Will?” As I ask, his brows narrow in confusion. I add, “What if I had kissed someone else? Would you forgive me so easily?”
He falls silent and his eyes fill with regret. His pain is breaking my soul. I wish it were easy to forget what he did to me and get back to him.
Because indirectly I’m hurting the person who means the world to me.
“I’m sorry. I really don’t want to hurt you, Will. But it’s not easy for me.” I apologise, because his efforts are clearly showing how much I mean to him, but my heart isn’t letting him in again.
He exhales shakily, and for a moment, neither of us speaks.
We just stand there.
Two people still in love.
But love alone isn’t always enough.
He leans forward and finally breaks the silence. “How long, Iva? How long do I have to suffer for one mistake?”
I hold his face in my hands, torn between everything I feel and everything I can’t forget. “I don’t know. But I promise… I’m trying.”
And the worst part?
He is too.
And I can see it.
And I hate that it still hurts this much.
He doesn’t say anything, just takes something out of his pocket, keeping his eyes locked on mine. And then I see the necklace in his hand. The one he had snatched off my neck. As the hurtful memories rush through me again, my heart shatters all over again.
Why can’t I just forget everything and go back to how we were before? Like a happy couple.
“This only belongs to you, Iva.” He comes closer to me, showing me the necklace, and I can’t control my emotions. Fresh tears trickle down my cheeks.
That night, he said I didn’t deserve this, and those words shattered my fucking heart into so many pieces that they still refuse to fit back together again.
I don’t say anything. My silence makes him believe that I’m allowing him to put it on me again. He steps behind me and moves my hair over one shoulder. When his fingers brush against my bare back, I close my eyes, losing myself in the sensation. It feels like I’ve gotten my life back, and for a moment, I forget everything. I melt into his touch, leaning back against him. I’ve craved this warmth since the night he broke my heart.
My heart! Fuck, he hurt me intentionally. No, I can’t give him the chance to hurt me again.
I can’t feel that heartbreak again. That was unbearable.
I move away from him and push his hand off my body. I don’t let him put it on me again. A part of me feels incomplete without his touch, but I force myself to ignore it.
I see hurt and confusion in his grey eyes.
But before he can speak, I snap, my eyes wet. “Do you really think everything will get back to normal? That we’ll laugh again, love again, touch each other again like nothing had happened?”
He just stares at me mutely.
“But you’re wrong, Will. This pendant doesn’t remind me of our love anymore. It doesn’t remind me of the night you gave it to me.”
Tears fall from my eyes nonstop.
“It reminds me of the night you tore it off and broke my heart.”
Listening to my words, tears fall from his eyes too.
And God, it hurts me even more to see it.
Because I know he’s truly sorry.
But sorry doesn’t erase memory.
Sorry doesn’t erase pain.
It’s not that easy for me.
My lips shiver as I look into his eyes filled with remorse, and it breaks me inside.
But I can’t let this destroy me again.
He is the one who destroyed us, and I never thought that my one lie would bring us here.
I can’t look at him anymore. Because if I do and if I stay here for even a second longer, I’ll forget everything and run into his arms. The same arms that once held me like I was his entire world… and then dropped me like I was nothing.
So I run from there without saying anything.
Because if I stayed one more second, I knew I would forget the pain and remember only the love he once made me feel.
And I wasn’t ready to give my heart to him again. Not when the pieces hadn’t even healed yet.