Chapter 43 Stay
Chapter 43 Stay
No one moves. The room holds tight enough that it feels like something might snap if anyone breathes wrong.
Patrick stands in front of me. Close. Not touching. Josh is off to the side, watching. Mike is still by the window, shoulders tight. Jake is on the floor, quieter than I’ve ever seen him. Drew hasn’t moved at all.
I feel all of them. My pulse is loud. Too loud. But I don’t step back. I don’t look away. Not this time.
Patrick exhales first. Slow. Controlled.
“I hear you.” Simple. He doesn’t look away. Neither do I.
My throat tightens, not enough to hurt, just enough that I notice. I swallow anyway, forcing the feeling down before it can settle anywhere deeper. My fingers twitch at my sides, then still again.
I keep my shoulders back. Keep my face neutral. I won’t shrink. Not here. Not now.
His eyes soften. Just a fraction. Enough that something in my chest shifts again. Small. Controlled.
Josh moves next, one step and then another, slow enough that I could stop him if I wanted to.
I don’t. His hand settles on my knee, warm and steady, grounding without holding me in place.
“I’m not trying to box you in.”
“I know.”
Mike pushes off the window and paces once, dragging a hand through his hair before stopping near the edge of the room.
“I don’t like it.”
“I know.”
Jake exhales from the floor. “Yeah. None of us do.”
Drew leans forward, forearms braced on his thighs, grounded in a way that steadies the whole room.
“You’re not asking,” he says.
“No.”
“You already decided.”
“Yes.” A beat passes between us.
Then he nods once. “Good.”
Mike glances at him. “That’s it?”
Drew doesn’t look away from me. “That’s it.”
Silence settles again, but it feels different now. Less sharp. Still heavy, but not cutting.
Patrick steps closer. Careful. His hand lifts, then pauses, like he’s giving me time to pull away if I need it. I don’t. Instead, I close the distance just enough. That’s all it takes. His fingers settle against my jaw, light. Not holding. Just there.
“I’m not taking this from you,” he says.
“I know.”
“If something shifts,” he continues, his voice lower now, “you say it. Immediately.”
“I will.”
“You don’t push through it.”
“I’m not trying to prove anything.”
His eyes hold mine for a second longer, searching for something I’m not giving him. Then he nods.
“Good.”
That’s as much as I can give. It’s enough.
Jake shifts on the floor with a groan. “Great. Love the emotional growth. Can we sit before I lose circulation down here?”
A breath leaves me, almost a laugh.
Mike huffs. “You’re ridiculous.”
Jake grins. “You love me.”
“Debatable.”
The tension loosens. Not gone. Just not suffocating anymore. Josh leans back into the couch, his hand still resting on my knee. Mike finally comes closer, dropping onto the other end, his arm stretching along the back behind me. Close. Present.
Drew shifts beside me, solid and steady, his shoulder brushing mine in a way that feels intentional. Patrick takes a second longer, watching me, then sits too. His thigh presses lightly against mine. Not claiming. Choosing. I let myself lean back into the couch. Into them. All of them.
The room settles around us. Jake flips through options on the screen, muttering under his breath. Mike reaches over without looking and tosses a pillow at him.
Jake catches it easily. “Violence already?”
“Always,” Mike says.
Josh huffs a quiet laugh, the sound easing something in my chest. Normal. This is normal. Drew shifts slightly closer, not crowding, just enough that his leg presses more firmly against mine. His thumb brushes once over my knuckles, slow and deliberate, before stilling again.
Patrick’s hand hasn’t moved. Still resting on my thigh, warm and steady. I place my hand over his. Not gripping. Just there. His fingers flex once under mine in response. I lean back further, letting my weight settle fully into the couch, into the quiet presence surrounding me. My body starts to register everything all at once. The closeness. The warmth.
The way I’d been holding myself too tight. It isn’t overwhelming. Just heavy. The noise around me fades slightly. Not gone, just softer at the edges. Jake arguing. Mike snapping back. Josh saying something under his breath. I don’t track the words. My focus narrows.
Breath in.
Hold.
Out.
Again.
My chest rises slower this time, more controlled. My heartbeat steadies, no longer racing, just there. Constant. Grounded. I press my fingers lightly into Drew’s hand. Into Patrick’s. Anchoring. Real. I’m here. This is real. Not then. Not before. Now. The tension drains slowly, piece by piece. The tightness in my chest loosens. It hits then.
Late.
Sharp.
Next week.
The courtroom.
Him.
My fingers tighten in Drew’s hand. He feels it immediately, squeezing once in return. Patrick’s thumb moves against my leg, a small, steady motion. Grounding. I breathe in again. Slow. Controlled. Then let it out. I’m still here. I didn’t step back. Neither did they.