Chapter 44 — Fagua

I had to pretend I didn't know what Husk was talking about because if I told him the truth, then he would panic and think I couldn't use my magic at all. I knew I could, or so I thought, but something had changed. I wasn't as strong as I used to be, but I assumed within a matter of time I would be.

I had mated with Husk, but then at the same time, it felt like we were back to square one. No, we were even worse than before. At least before we had some kind of rules; by keeping our distance, there was no conflict. Now, we'd mated and it felt as if we were being forced to be something that we could never be.

I just had to get over the idea that he was neither Winter nor Sky. This morning, it was like a rude awakening, that for over six weeks, we'd hardly spent any time together, and the little time we had, all we'd done was fight. It was as if we were enemies, being forced to be lovers.

How do you make that change so quickly?

We had to forget the past and all the tension between us in the flash of a heartbeat. I tried to wander the streets, to try and make sense of it all. The more I walked, the more I felt like a little sheep just going up and down with no direction. No indication of where I was going and not caring about the time or the distance away from home.

I could call Winter, but I knew if I did he would reassure me that everything was fine. So I had this bright idea. I would go to the one place that has provided me with a feeling of safety and comfort. I'd gone there several times over the past few weeks, but not alone; I'd been there with Mayia. And once I was there, maybe I would give her a call to see if she was free to have a chat in person with me.

I didn't feel the need to get the bus or grab a taxi because the summer was cool and the right temperature to help clear my mind.

I had to stop being selfish and think of a way to save the wolves. The same ones I loved to hate and who I'd spent my whole life with in a bubble in SmallHeath, until recently.

As I entered the bar, I noticed it wasn't as quiet as usual. I mean, the place wasn't crowded, but it wasn’t empty. Like maybe one or two lost souls. Maybe they'd been doing some advertising online. I wasn't that curious to find out how newcomers had found it, so I let the thought slip away.

My gaze darted to the corner where I'd normally sit with Mayia. The chairs we would usually occupy weren't empty, or at least one of them wasn't. Mayia was here.

How did she know I was going to be here? Or did she decide to come here on her own, seeking the same things I was?

I decided against ordering at the bar and walked up to her. It was then that she acknowledged my presence as she looked up, away from her phone, and smiled.

"Hey, I've been waiting for you to come in," she said as she embraced me. I hugged her tightly, knowing that seeing her friendly face was what I was in need of right now.

"How did you know I would come here? I mean, I cut the phone call to you. I could have gone to the casino."

"I hate to tell you, but you're so predictable. With the way things are with you and Husk, I knew it was a matter of time before you came in, so I calculated the time between when you said you were leaving the hotel to how long it would take you to get here from the casino."

I chuckled as I sat down, thinking about what she'd said.

"I could have decided to make up with him in the car journey and then go to the casino and make passionate love with him," I said, denying her prediction of the trail of events.

"In your dreams. I probably know you a lot better than they do in the short time we've been friends."

She moved the wine glass toward me and winked at the same time. I was predictable. She knew what I wanted to drink. I sipped my wine and looked around, like I always do.

Why would so many be attracted to come here now?

No noise, no music, no real environment, just quietness. Which was why I liked it. Because outside was a completely different world. One of chaos and no sense of direction.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. If that was the reason I loved it here so much, then no doubt this was the same reason they did too.

There was a young man sitting by himself, not playing with his phone or even acknowledging anyone was around. At a table, he played solitaire with a deck of cards. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done that, but it had proved what I'd already concluded. They all came here to do the same thing—to be alone.

I sighed as I put my glass down.

"So, my friend, what do we do? How do Husk and I get past these issues we have?" I asked Mayia.

She said nothing as she narrowed her eyes, as if she were thinking about the problem at hand. There was something I had to tell her, explain to her, if I could. I had to tell her about my powers.

She listened attentively as I told her about the room, feeling faint and having no energy, then the worst part of the story about the near car accident.

Her eyes grew as I explained about stopping the car, how I felt as if I died at that precise moment.

"I struggled to breathe, to do anything. I knew I was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Once I shut my eyes, all I saw was darkness."

"What revived you? Did he take you to the hospital?"

I shook my head because in all honesty it was something that had toyed in my mind. Why didn't I die?

"Husk touched me," I whispered, wondering if that actually had something to do with it. "He touched me a few times, actually. He was poking me, probably to see if I was dead. I remember thinking damn, I’m not some kind of doll. It hurts."

She laughed. "You're so dramatic, especially when it comes to that man."

"You mean wolf."

She shook her head.

"See what I mean? If it makes you feel better, then wolf. You just need to be open when it comes to him. Stop being so damn uptight."

"I can't fucking help it," I said in my defense.

"You only went away with him for a weekend, and now you're talking like him."

I sighed. "I know. I hate my potty mouth."

"Why don't you just give him a chance? Open up your heart."

I rolled my eyes, thinking I knew exactly what she was going to say next.

"I know, the whole world is counting on me and all that shit. I shouldn't be so fucking selfish."

She took my hand and made me focus and listen very carefully to what she had to say next.

"You and those three men belong together for three different reasons. I don't know exactly what it is because I don't know everything. I've seen it in my pack, with others who were in a harem. They all say the same thing, they need to be with each of them for a different reason. No one told me the reason, but they claim it's fate. Fate gives them the answer they need, and they find it."

I had no fucking clue what she was on about. If fate was so damn good, then why did Husk and I always fight? Why couldn't our relationship be like the ones I had with Winter and Sky?

"So, stop fighting him and just let your heart be free with him. Don't be big headed and don't act as if you're doing the world or the wolves a favor because you will die and he will too. You know it. We both know it. And I don't want that to happen."

"I don't either," I whispered. But I knew I wasn't going to leave the bar and run into the arms of Husk. I had to figure out a way to find the balance, the way we did when we imprinted. But for now, all I could think about was no more drama and just spending some quiet time with my friend.