29 - NO

**Lysandra**

"No."

The word was barely a whisper, but it felt like a shout in my head as Drakar pulled away from me, his lips just inches from mine as I opened my eyes again.

“..No?”

He moved away, his breathing ragged, strained. He just shook his head like he couldn't talk. 

"Kiss me…. please," I said again, my voice soft but steady, hoping to make him see.  

The words left me before I could stop them, and I immediately regretted them. I wasn’t sure what I was hoping for, but it felt like something had shifted in me the moment I spoke them.

I wanted him. I wanted to feel close to him. But even more, I needed him to show me something, anything that would make sense of all the distance he kept putting between us.  

“Please.”  I said again, ignoring how stupid I felt for being this needy. But at the back of my mind, I hoped he'd give in. 

But no. He didn't. He didn’t kiss me. 

I felt hurt, and unwanted. Almost like I felt with Caelan, but this one was on a deeper and more intimate level. He told me he wanted me the other day, but now that he had the chance to match his words with his actions, he didn’t.

Instead, he stopped, pulling back just enough to make me question everything. His lips hovered just inches from mine, and for a second, I thought he was going to lean in. But then something in him faltered, and his whole body tensed.  

“Drakar?” I whispered, my voice trembling with confusion.  

He didn’t answer. His eyes widened, but there was no explanation. Only a struggle I couldn’t understand.  

Then, he pulled away from me completely, stepping back like I was something dangerous.  

I sat there, my heart pounding, my thoughts spinning. 

He moved further away, as if he was desperate to put distance between us.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to make sense of the rejection that stung more than I cared to admit. 

He couldn’t look at me. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his back turned to me like he was trying to escape something he couldn’t.  

“You need to stay away from me,” he said, his voice strained, rough.  

Stay away?  Was he joking?

Did he really think he would kidnap me from my wedding, then ask me to stay away and I’d listen to him, and ‘understand’?

I didn’t understand. I couldn’t understand.  

“Stay away? You were the one who—” I started, but my words faltered. The frustration boiled inside me, but I couldn’t stop it. “You keep doing this. Pulling me close and then pushing me away. It’s draining and annoying. What do you want from me, Drakar?”  

I felt my heart ache with each passing moment. His silence was worse than anything.  

He turned away again, unable to meet my eyes, his fists still clenched. The tension in the air was thick, and I could feel my patience breaking. 

“I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t understand,” he muttered, his voice barely audible.  

I wasn’t going to let him get away with that.  

“Try me,” I snapped, stepping closer, my eyes stung. This hurt. This hurt so much. 

“Because right now, all I understand is that you’re playing games with me. One moment, you act like I’m all you want, and the next, you act like I’m a burden you can’t wait to get rid of. And this isn’t the first time I’ll point it out, but you just keep doing the same thing over and over again.”  

The words hit me harder than I wanted to admit as I said them. His rejection hurt in a way I couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just the kiss I wanted anymore—it was the way he made me feel like I was nothing more than something to be discarded.  

“It’s not that simple,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.  

“Then make it simple,” I demanded, frustration leaking into my words. “Why do you keep pulling away? What are you so afraid of?”  

I felt like an old woman trying to explain something to a baby boy, or like I was talking to a brick wall, and my words were just bouncing off it.

I wanted to know the truth. I needed to know why he was doing this to me. Why I was lying here, aching for something I wasn’t sure I could even have.  

But he stayed silent.  

His eyes flickered to mine for a second, like he was thinking of telling me everything. But then the wall went back up, and he turned away from me once more.  

“Fine,” I said, my voice cold, my chest tight. “If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. But stop treating me like some toy you can pick up and put down whenever you feel like it.”  

I turned, the duvet moving with me as I bunched it around me, trying to steady the breath that was coming too quickly and the tears that threatened to fall. 

I felt him stand up, and I wanted to look back, to see if he was going to sit back down, to understand why I felt so empty all of a sudden. But I didn’t.  

I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurt.  

The door closed behind me, and I felt anger cage my chest, the silence pressing down on me like a weight.  

I wasn’t sure what had just happened. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling anymore.

All I knew was that I’d wanted him to kiss me. I’d wanted him to take me in his arms and make it all stop—this game, this confusion. I’d wanted him to take care of him.

But now that he’d pulled away, now that I was left with nothing but the sting of his rejection, I realized it wasn’t just about the kiss.  

It was about him pulling away, over and over again, and leaving me to wonder if I was worth it. Because why the fuck was I even here in the first place then?