Chapter 172 Ryders Burden
Ryder pov
I watch Jolie collapse after her third healing session of the day and feel completely useless.
She catches herself against the wall, light flickering weakly beneath her skin like a dying star. Her empathy gift has been running constantly for six hours—emotional assessments, neural pathway rebuilding, trauma processing. She's given everything she has to helping broken wolves become whole again.
And I can't do a damn thing to help.
"I'm fine." She straightens, forcing a smile that doesn't reach her exhausted eyes. "Just need a minute."
"You need twelve hours of sleep." I move to her side, offering support she's too stubborn to accept. "And probably three full meals. When's the last time you ate?"
She actually has to think about it. "Breakfast?"
"It's six in the evening." I steer her toward our cabin despite her protests. "You've been healing nonstop since dawn. Your body needs fuel, Jolie."
"Daniel is making real progress." She lets me guide her, too tired to fight. "His emotional centers are rebuilding faster than expected."
"That's great." I mean it. "But it doesn't matter if you burn yourself out completely trying to save everyone."
"I have to try." She stops walking, turning to face me with those luminous eyes. "Can’t you see what the Council did to them, Ryder. The systematic destruction of everything that makes us human. I can fix it. I can help them feel again. How can I not try?"
"Because trying is killing you." The words come out harsher than I intend. "I feel it through the bond—the constant drain, the exhaustion, the way your moonfire gets weaker every day. You're giving pieces of yourself to heal them, and eventually there won't be anything left."
"Then I'll rest and recover." She says it like it's simple. "My moonfire replenishes. My empathy gift regenerates. I'm not breaking, I'm just tired."
"You're more than tired." I cup her face gently. "You're running on empty. Every healing session takes more out of you than the last one. The work is getting harder, not easier, and you refuse to slow down."
"Because they need me." She pulls away, resuming the walk to our cabin. "Eleven conditioned wolves are finally feeling things again because I helped them."
I follow in frustrated silence because what can I say? She's right—healing those wolves matters. Every person she helps is a victory against the Council's cruelty. But watching my mate drain herself to nothing in service of others is its own kind of torture.
Inside our cabin, I make her sit while I prepare food. She protests weakly but doesn't actually get up, which tells me how exhausted she really is. Her light pulses irregularly, struggling to maintain stability.
"Luna's worried about you." I bring her a sandwich and force her to start eating. "She says you're taking on too much—healing sessions, training new empaths, coordinating the network, planning facility raids. Even with divine abilities, you're still human."
"Luna worries professionally." Jolie takes a bite, chewing fastly. "It's her job to point out when I'm pushing too hard."
"She's not wrong though." I sit beside her. "You're trying to heal the entire world yourself instead of delegating."
"I am delegating." She gestures with the sandwich. "The empathic trainees are handling basic emotional support. Doc coordinates the network. Celeste works with new arrivals. I'm only doing the intensive neurological healing that requires moonfire."
"Which is still three to four sessions per day." I counter. "Plus your other responsibilities. When's the last time you took a full day off?"
She opens her mouth to answer, then closes it. Can't remember, apparently.
"Exactly." I take her hand. "You're going to burn out completely if you keep this pace. And then what happens to all the wolves depending on you?"
"Then someone else steps up." She says quietly. "The network is bigger than me now. If I collapse, the trained empaths keep working. The healing continues without me."
"That's not the point." I'm getting frustrated again. "The point is you shouldn't have to collapse. You're allowed to rest, to take breaks, to prioritize your own health. Saving everyone else doesn't mean sacrificing yourself."
"But they need" She starts.
"I need you." The words come out raw. "I need my mate alive and healthy, not run into the ground by her own compassion. I need you to survive this, Jolie. Not just exist as some divine tool for healing others, but actually live."
She's quiet for a long moment, finishing her sandwich slowly. When she finally speaks, her voice is small."I don't know how to do less." She admits.
"You don't have to choose not to help." I pull her close. "But you do have to pace yourself. Heal three wolves this week instead of trying to heal all eleven at once. Take days off to recover. Let your moonfire fully regenerate before starting another intensive session."
"That means some wolves wait longer." She leans into me, exhausted. "Some stay broken for extra weeks or months because I'm being careful with my own energy."
"Or it means you stay healthy enough to keep healing for years instead of months." I counter. "Would you rather help eleven wolves right now and collapse, or help hundreds of wolves over the next decade by taking care of yourself?"
She doesn't answer immediately, thinking through the logic. I can feel her resistance through the bond—the desperate need to fix everything immediately, to save everyone who's suffering. Her divine nature pushing her toward constant self-sacrifice."I hate that you're right." She finally says.
"I know." I kiss the top of her head. "But someone has to keep you from destroying yourself through compassion."
We sit in silence for a while, her body heavy with exhaustion against mine. Through the bond, I feel her moonfire slowly stabilizing, the dangerous flicker becoming steadier with rest and food.
"The facility raids start next week." She changes the subject. “ Doc says there are at least twenty captives total who need immediate extraction."
"I know." I've been coordinating security for those raids. "And you're staying here while we handle them."
"What?" She pulls back, staring at me. "I'm leading the raid, the last time I could not join, I thought we planned"
"We planned before you started healing eleven wolves simultaneously." I keep my voice firm. "Now you're too depleted to be effective in combat. You stay here, coordinate remotely, and focus on healing work."
"But I'm the most powerful" She starts.
"And you'll be useless if you collapse from exhaustion halfway through the raid." I interrupt. "We've got Knox, Cass, Luna, and two dozen trained fighters. We can handle facility extractions without you."