Chapter 238
Elowen's POV
We're going through the motions, Juno said quietly. Eating when forced to. Sleeping when we can't stay awake anymore. This isn't living.
I know, I told her. But it's all I can manage right now.
"Elowen." Alaric's voice was gentler than Kade's, warmer. "Why don't you come with me? I have those books you wanted to look at. About your bloodline."
I latched onto the excuse gratefully. Anything to get away from Kade's penetrating stare and the water bottle he was no doubt about to shove in my face.
But before I could move, Kade stepped closer, holding out a glass of water like it was a peace offering. Or a weapon. With him, it was hard to tell.
"Drink," he said simply.
I stared at the glass, then at him. Something ugly twisted in my chest—resentment, anger, and underneath it all, a bone-deep pain that had nothing to do with Kade and everything to do with the man he reminded me of.
Cassian had been like this too. Controlling. Demanding. Always so certain he knew what was best.
And look how that had turned out.
I gave Kade the kind of look that could curdle milk and pushed the glass away. "I said I'm fine."
His jaw tightened. Just a fraction, but I saw it. And for some reason, that tiny crack in his composure made me feel worse, not better.
I pushed myself up from the chair, moving with all the grace of a beached whale. Six months pregnant with twins meant I was roughly the size of a small planet, and getting up from a sitting position required strategic planning and possibly a crane.
Ronan moved to help me, but I waved him off. I could do this myself. I didn't need—
"Just once," Kade said, his voice tight with frustration, "I'd like you to stop fighting me on every goddamn thing."
The words hit like a slap. Not because they were cruel—Kade never was—but because they were true. I did fight him. On everything. The water, the food, the rest, the boundaries he tried so carefully to maintain.
And I fought him because if I didn't, if I let myself accept his care without resistance, I might start to depend on it. Might start to forget that these three men, no matter how kind, weren't mine.
Not the way Casper and Cassian had been.
Weren't, Juno corrected viciously. They chose Sarah. They're not ours anymore.
The reminder was a knife between my ribs, stealing my breath.
Kade thrust the water bottle at Alaric, his movements sharp with barely controlled anger. "Make sure she drinks this in the next thirty minutes. And no more tea. It's not good for the pups."
Then he turned and walked out, moving like a sulking child who'd just been told no.
The silence he left behind was suffocating.
"Come on," Alaric said softly, touching my elbow. "Let's go look at those books."
I nodded, not trusting my voice. The sting of tears was back, hot and insistent, and I refused to cry. Not again. Not over something as stupid as a glass of water.
It's not about the water, Juno whispered. It's never about the water.
No. It was about control. About feeling like I had none. About being cared for by men who weren't my mates while my actual mates—
They're not our mates anymore, Juno snarled.
I started walking, following Alaric out of the kitchen. But I was moving too fast, my pregnant waddle more of an angry stomp, and—
"Are you okay?" Alaric asked, genuine concern in his voice.
"I'm fine," I lied again. The words were getting easier each time I said them. "Just... fine."
I grabbed the water bottle from his hand out of pure spite and refused to drink from it. Take that, Kade.
Alaric slowed his pace to match mine, but I sped up stubbornly, determined not to be treated like I was fragile.
"He loves you, you know," Alaric said casually, like he was commenting on the weather.
I blinked. "Who?"
"Kade." He glanced at me, saying. "He's just... scared."
The door slammed shut somewhere ahead of us, the sound echoing through the hallway.
I stopped walking, staring at Alaric in confusion. "Scared of what? I'm his sister."
Half-sister, Juno corrected primly. Same father, different mother.
"That's what makes it complicated," Alaric said. He started walking again, and I had no choice but to follow. "He wants to care for you, protect you. But he's terrified of what it might mean. Of what he might lose if he lets himself..."
He trailed off, but I understood. Or thought I did.
"That's ridiculous," I said, anger flaring hot and bright in my chest. "My mates—" The word caught in my throat like broken glass. "The fathers of my children rejected us. Found someone else. Someone better."
My voice cracked on the last word, and I hated myself for it.
Sarah's probably already pregnant, I thought viciously. Probably showing by now. They've probably forgotten all about—
"Sarah's not pregnant," Alaric said quietly.
I froze, my hand flying to the doorframe of the library for support. "What?"
"Sarah." He said her name like it tasted bad. "She's not pregnant. And she's not going to be."
"How do you—" I started, but he cut me off with a knowing look.
"Do you really not care?" he asked softly. "About them? About what they're doing?"
Yes, I wanted to scream. I care so much it's killing me.
"I..." I swallowed hard. "I have a right to know if my children might be in danger."
It was only half a lie.
Alaric stepped closer, his fingers gentle as he tipped my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Your pups. My niece and nephew." He emphasized each word carefully. "You're stronger than you think, Elowen. And you're not alone. You have me, Ronan, and Kade. You're safe here."
Safe, Juno echoed bitterly. But not home.
"The only thing you need to worry about right now," Alaric continued, "is learning about your bloodline and resting. Making sure these babies stay healthy."
He held up Kade's water bottle with a slight smile.
Like we're just an incubator, Juno muttered. Like that's all we are now.
But I found myself smiling anyway, taking the bottle from Alaric's outstretched hand.
"Okay," I said softly. "Let's start the lesson."