Chapter 237
Elowen's POV
"Elowen." Kade's voice was gentle now, that rare softness he only showed when he thought I was close to breaking. "Have you had enough water today?"
I bit back a groan. This again. Every single day with the water thing.
"Yes, Dad," I said sarcastically.
Ronan snorted. "She's had three cups of tea and one glass of water since she woke up."
I whipped around to glare at him. "Traitor."
He held up his hands in mock surrender, that infuriating grin still plastered on his face. "Hey, I'm just looking out for my niece and nephew. Someone has to make sure you're taking care of yourself."
"I am taking care of myself," I snapped, even though we all knew it was a lie.
The truth was, I'd been going through the motions for six months. Eating when forced to. Sleeping when exhaustion finally dragged me under. Existing in this weird limbo where I was technically safe and cared for, but felt more alone than I ever had in my life.
Because you left your heart back in that room, Juno said quietly. With them. With the mates who betrayed us.
My hand moved unconsciously to my neck, fingers brushing over the two marks that still sat there. Faded now, barely visible under my skin. But not gone. Never gone.
The marks that bound me to Cassian and Casper, no matter how much I wished they'd disappear.
They should have faded by now, Juno muttered. Sarah's their chosen mate. Sarah's the one they marked. These should be gone.
But they weren't. And I didn't know what that meant. Didn't want to think about what it might mean, because hoping was dangerous. Hoping was what got me into this mess in the first place.
Kade moved past me to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of cold water. He walked back and, with practiced precision, set it against my swollen belly.
I hissed at the cold. "Really?"
"Drink," he said simply.
I looked down at the bottle pressed against my stomach and felt something crack in my chest. Because this was Kade's thing. His routine. Every single day, he'd find some excuse to check on the babies' health—temperature, position, movement. Everything clinical and medical and completely detached.
In six months, he'd never once touched my bare skin. Never run his hand over my belly like Ronan did constantly. Even when I'd offered, practically begged him to feel the babies kick, he'd refuse.
Just like Cassian used to refuse to—
No, I told myself firmly. We're not doing this. We're not comparing them.
But how could I not? How could I not notice that Kade looked at my stomach like it was a fascinating medical case instead of two living beings? How could I not see the difference between Ronan's enthusiastic involvement and Casper's—
I grabbed the water bottle from where it rested against my belly and twisted off the cap. Kade watched me with those intense amber eyes until I raised it to my lips and took a sip.
Just a sip. Because I was petty like that.
His jaw tightened. "More."
"I'm not thirsty."
"I don't care."
We stared at each other for a long moment. This had become our dance over the past six months—him pushing, me resisting, both of us too stubborn to back down.
Finally, I took another small sip, then lowered the bottle with a challenging look.
Kade's expression didn't change, but I saw the slight tick in his jaw that meant he was fighting not to physically force the water down my throat.
"You know," a new voice drawled from the doorway, "if you actually drank the whole thing, he might stop hovering like an overprotective mother hen."
I looked up to find Alaric leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and that trademark lazy smile on his face. Unlike his brothers, Alaric never seemed stressed. Never seemed worried. He just... existed in this constant state of amused detachment that both irritated and comforted me.
"I'm not hovering," Kade said stiffly.
"You're totally hovering," Ronan agreed, finally removing his hand from my belly. "It's kind of adorable, actually."
Kade shot him a look that would've made lesser men cower. Ronan just grinned wider.
I felt my own lips twitch despite everything. Despite the ache in my chest and the memories that wouldn't leave me alone and the constant, crushing weight of missing two people I shouldn't miss at all.
Because this was my life now. Three overbearing Alphas who each handled my pregnancy in completely different ways.
Kade with his obsessive tracking of every health metric and his carefully maintained physical distance.
Ronan with his constant touching and his determination not to miss a single moment, not even the less glamorous ones like when I threw up my breakfast for the third time in a week.
And Alaric, who somehow managed to treat me like I was still me instead of just an incubator for two Alpha babies that weren't even his.
They're better than we deserve, Juno said quietly. Better than them.
But even as she said it, we both knew it was a lie. Because better or not, these three weren't my mates. Weren't the men who'd promised to love me forever. Weren't the fathers of the babies currently doing gymnastics in my womb.
They were just... here. In this weird, undefined space where they'd taken on the role of protectors and providers without ever asking for anything in return.
And I hated that I couldn't give them what they wanted. What they deserved.
Because my heart was still back in that room, shattered into a million pieces across Cassian's floor.
"Come on," Alaric said, pushing off the doorframe. "Drink up and maybe Kade will let you breathe for five minutes."
I looked down at the water bottle in my hand, then at the three pairs of eyes watching me with varying degrees of concern and amusement and clinical detachment.
This is your life now, I thought. This is what you have left.
And really, it could be worse. I could be alone. Could be back at the Thornwood Pack, watching Sarah parade around with my mates like she'd won some kind of prize.
She did win, Juno reminded me bitterly. She got everything we wanted. Everything we thought was ours.
I raised the water bottle to my lips and took a longer drink. Not because Kade asked. Not because I was actually thirsty.
But because it was easier than thinking about what I'd lost.
Easier than remembering the way Casper's eyes had looked when I'd walked in. The way Cassian had just sat there, not even trying to explain.
The way they'd both let me go without fighting for me. Without choosing me.
They chose her, Juno whispered. And now we have to live with that.
The water tasted like ash in my mouth, but I swallowed it down anyway.