Chapter 11

It's been a week since Daddy died; until now, I still didn't expect everything to be this fast.

I looked at Mommy who was next to Daddy's grave, she was just silent as she caressed his tombstone. "I miss you," she said, then started sobbing.

It hurts me to see Mommy so weak, but I can do nothing because even I am not ready for all this. I approached her and hugged her tightly.

I want to cry, but I have to stand up for my mom. I am the only one she can draw strength from in this situation.

"Why did he leave me?" she said while sobbing.

I tightened my hug with her, then kissed her on the forehead. "I'm still here mom. I love you."

We stayed for a few more minutes before deciding to leave. We both didn't want to leave, but we knew we had to get on with our lives without Daddy.

"Do you want me to go home with you?" I asked as we got into the car.

She just smiled at me before shaking her head. "I'll be fine. I also need to train myself.”

I let out a deep sigh before looking at her seriously. "Don't push me away, Mom."

She immediately turned to me and touched my face. "I'm not pushing you away, and I will never do that. It's just that I need this too. I hope you understand, now that you have your own family."

Family?

I just smiled in my mind. "Okay I understand. Call me if you need something." I hugged her.

She also reciprocated with a hug and then let go. She stroked my face as if she was mesmerizing it. "Always be strong princess. Your daddy and I love you very much."

I just nodded and hugged her again.

Mommy sent her driver to Andrei's condo. When I entered, it was very quiet. It looks like he hasn't come home from work yet.

I dropped myself on the sofa. I closed my eyes to rest, but only for a few seconds, until I heard the door open.

His very familiar scent immediately penetrated my nose. It had been almost four days without Daddy before he returned home from America; he apologized to me and Mom, because it was too late before the news reached him. He blamed it on his hectic schedule.

I smiled bitterly. Yeah, hectic schedule with his girl.

"You just arrived?" he asked.

I slowly opened my eyes, then looked in his direction. He's in the kitchen, maybe preparing to cook.

"Yes," was my simple answer.

I could see him sigh, then look at me. "Are we okay?" he hesitated to ask.

Are we okay?

Should we not be?

Should we be?

I just smiled at him then stood up. "Sure why not?" I said, then took my bag. "I'll just change." I did not wait for his response. I just went straight to our room.

In the last few days, we weren't talking. I didn't know if he was just giving me space, or if he really had no intention of talking to me.

I took off my clothes and went into the bathroom. I dipped into the tub.

Only now did I feel relaxed again. I was so comfortable that I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep in the tub. I woke up when I felt someone touching my body.

Out of drowsiness and fatigue, I just let it go, until drowsiness carried me away again.

I woke up, feeling like something was digging in my stomach, so I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom.

"Arggh!" I vomited.

I almost burst into tears as I felt nauseous. My body was cold and I was so dizzy.

"Fuck! Are you okay?" he muttered as he stroked my back.

I continued to throw up, even though I felt like I had nothing left to release.

"FUCK! I'll take you to the hospital, maybe a cold came in when you were soaking," he said quickly. I stopped him from getting up.

I wanted to laugh at him, and I would've if I was not about to faint. I could feel sweat dripping down my face, down my neck. He must have noticed that too, because he quickly snatched the towel next to me and wiped my face.

"I just need rest," I barely manage to say.

He just nodded, then lifted me up and laid me down on the bed again. He rubbed my forehead to see if I had a fever. He looked at me seriously, as if he was solving a puzzle.

"Are you sure you only need rest?" he made sure to ask and stroked my face. He put my stray hairs behind my ear.

I just nodded and avoided looking at him.

"You should eat. You didn't eat last night; wait here, I'll just heat the food." He didn't wait for my answer, and went straight to the show.

I immediately grabbed my stomach at the same time as my tears flowed.

"Please baby."

Yes, I'm pregnant. I found out that on the very day when Daddy disappeared. It's funny to think, but maybe the saying is true, that when something is lost someone comes.

A few minutes later, he entered the room again with the food.

FUCK! IT STINKS.

I wanted to cover my nose and run to the bathroom again, but I didn't. I didn't know if he knew anything when it comes to pregnancy.

I held my breath in tears.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly to me.

I'm overwhelmed. I looked at what he was carrying, adobo. Damn, my nose really doesn't want it.

Baby we should eat. Your daddy cooked that, I thought.

"Don’t you like this?" he frowned at the question; perhaps he realized that I had a bad opinion of the adobo he cooked.

He slowly pulled his hand away from me. "Do you want to eat something?" he asked me.

I just shook my head, even though I really felt like I wanted to eat something.

Maybe I can still endure it?

I saw him sigh. I was waiting for him to come back, but a few minutes later, he was still gone, so I decided to go out too.

Surprisingly, I did not notice that. I just caught him cooking in the kitchen.

Isn't there food?

"Sit. It's over here too." he said when he noticed me.

I quietly followed him. I looked around to find the adobo, but I never saw it again.

My stomach began to swell when I smelt what he was cooking. In less than a minute, the food he had prepared was in front of me.

Porridge.

I did not wait for him to take care of me. I voluntarily spooned some rice in my mouth and started eating. I really enjoyed it, so I didn't realize that he was watching me. I averted my eyes before pouring the last spoonful of food into my mouth.

"Eat more." he said, then brought the rice to me.

My face warmed with embarrassment. He thought maybe I was greedy.

Gosh baby you are greedy.

Since I did not move, he voluntarily put more rice on my plate. "Eat," he said.

I wanted to look at him, but he might notice me so I just continued eating as he wanted.

"Later we will go to the hospital. I want to make sure you are all right."

I let go of the cutlery I was holding and looked at him. He was just looking at me seriously, so I didn't know what was going on in his mind.

"I-I'm okay. L-like you said, maybe a cold just started," I want to blame myself for my stutter.

I was shocked because he was already beside me and pulled me upright.

"Damn it baby," he whispered; next thing I knew, I was standing up and locked in his chest.

I couldn't tell whose heart was beating faster.

"I miss you," he whispered, then kissed my forehead.

Well now I know. It's my heart.