Chapter 84

It seemed silly to get worked up over something so mundane as his behavior when sick. Yet she could no more control her reaction than she could deny him what he wanted. Here he was, feverish and achy, but he still thought of her. Saying nice things, needing her close. He was half-buried in a mind fog, and his first instincts were to cuddle with her, not bark orders or push her away. It cemented her experiences with him as legit, proving he wasn't only saying or doing what he'd thought he should.

They laid in bed all day and evening. In the early afternoon, he'd managed to rouse long enough to eat half a bowl of soup, and sometime around midnight, his fever had broken. He woke up Tuesday morning with the sun, only mildly sluggish for the encounter, and Amy was grateful he was better.

On Wednesday, after they were done with work, he wanted to test out the new horse he and Olivia had acquired, and asked Amy to go for a ride. With her on Pirate, a two-year-old gelding, and him on the new stallion, Brandy, they took off for Dead Man's Pass near the southern pasture.

The twenty minute trek did wonders to clear her head and she relaxed into the gentle sway of her horse. The sun was lower in the sky, but still cast hot rays over the waist-high fields. They had another couple hours of lazy daylight before dusk would settle, and she breathed in the scents of soil and warm fur, cut grass and hay. Sounds of leaves crackling and the creek trickling were a light background to clomping hooves.

They passed one herd of steer grazing in a pasture, and Nakos halted his horse. He dismounted, cooing platitudes to the stallion. "Why don't you hop down? We can rest here a bit."

She obliged, and he tied the reins to a wooden fence post, then gave each of the horses a carrot from the satchel. Grabbing a blanket, he strode over to a lone cottonwood and spread it by the base. He disappeared from sight in the tall, golden prairie grass when he sat.

Curious, she made her way over, finding him prone on the blanket, one arm bent behind his head, and his Stetson tipped over his eyes. A gray tee stretched over the ridges of his pecs, his abs, and his legs were crossed at the ankles, encased in a worn pair of denim.

Lazy, sexy cowboy.

"I really wish I had my camera right now."

He grinned and crooked a finger, summoning her.

Waiting a beat, she chewed her lip. She had an undeniable urge to straddle him, ride him in a more satisfying way than the gelding. Save a horse, right?

And why not? He'd, thus far, enjoyed everything they'd done together and was constantly encouraging her to do what she wanted while they were intimate. They were a mile from the main house and all the guys were done for the day. The area was private, and even if someone did stumble upon them, the pasture would hide their romp.

Smiling, she kicked off her flip-flops and, with her knees on either side of his hips, she lowered herself onto his thighs.

Quick as a blink, he flicked off his hat, grabbed her waist, and lifted his head. A guttural groan rumbled over the call of a whippoorwill as he looked at her. His dark eyes swept over her, met her gaze. The longer they stared, the harder his chest moved air. He seemed to be waiting, albeit patiently, for her to follow through.

"Hell yes, Amy. Come on."

She dipped under his shirt, splaying her fingers over the cut muscles of his abs, and his stomach concaved. Up, she moved, taking the tee on her journey, and when it bunched around his chest, he reached back and jerked it off. His brows rose in a now what, but his pupils blew, belying the casual quirk.

God, did she want him. Need him. He'd shown her what true passion was, had given her undeniable pleasure on levels she hadn't known existed. All she had to do was look at him and she wanted. His mouth, his hands, his everything.

Panting, she unbuttoned his fly, carefully released his zipper to free his erection. He wasted no time shoving his pants and briefs down his thighs. She rose on her knees to give him room. Before kicking the jeans aside, he pulled a condom from his pocket, laid it on his chest like a taunt.

Breasts heavy, her panties drenched, she stood and shed her clothing, then reclaimed her position over him. Anticipation buzzed under her skin, fluttered in her belly, and she didn't think. For once, she just went with her gut. Grabbing the condom, she tore into the foil and, watching him, she rolled the latex down his thick shaft. A warm breeze teased her flesh.

He pulsed in her hand and bucked. "Hihcebe, anim. Yes." Need had his voice grating like gravel. "Take what you want. Take me."

Rising over him, she swallowed hard. Always before, this position had unnerved her. Wondering what to do, how to move, where to put her hands. Being watched had felt like being judged. Unsettling.

But not now. With Nakos's eyes dialed to hell-yes and his respirations cranked to I'm-dying, she didn't pause a beat. She guided him inside her and took him slowly, savoring the stretch and the way he completely filled her. The blessed sweet ache subsided, only to shift that throb to every other part of her body.

He barked a sound of stunned gratification and flung his arms over his head, hands fisted. The deliberate move wasn't lost on her. He was submitting to her, telling her he was at her mercy instead of the other way around. Whatever she wanted to do to him, he was willing. He was hers.

Setting her hands on his chest, she rocked. The slick glide sent a tremble through her entire nervous system. She did it again and, this time, he rolled his hips to meet her.

He thrust his head back, biceps bulging. Tendons strained in his neck. She got so caught up in watching him, his gorgeous body and the way he reacted, she didn't realize she'd paused until he lifted his head and met her gaze with carnal desperation.

A muscle ticked in his jaw. "Look at you." His wandering gaze caressed her skin, even if his hands never sought. Her face, her breasts, where they joined...a scorching trail that had some of the feral animalism draining from his eyes. Wonder replaced everything else. "Look at you, bixooxu. The sunlight in your hair, on your skin. How your cheeks flushed when you took me deep. The reckless abandon in your eyes. So fucking beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me. But you? Like this?" He shook his head. "My brave anim. Mercy, how I've missed that fire inside you. Show me. Be fearless with me."

As she stared at him, heart in her dang throat, she knew, understood, a flicker of what he'd been feeling. The love he claimed he had, the blinding trust, was all right there looking back at her. It rose inside her, too. Swelled. Warmed her in places that had long ago grown cold. In all her life, she'd never felt wanted, loved. Beautiful. He brought that to her, gave it over as if it were a gift he'd been keeping for the day she'd need it.

"Nakos." God, it hurt. An endearing, heartbreaking kind of hurt that both repaired and destroyed what was left of her.

"There you are." He sat up, cupped her cheeks. "Now you get it, now you hear me. Let me in all the way."

As he took her mouth in a slow, drugging kiss, she rocked over him, shoved her hands in his hair to hold on, dislodging his ponytail. He rose up to meet her, pelvis moving in both a restless and refined dance that shattered her. She ground her hips. He thrust. Her breasts crushed against the hard wall of his chest and her legs wrapped around him, as binding as his arms holding her.

They clung, they sought.

And she knew, for once, she finally mattered. If only to him, it was enough.