100 | paintings of you-1

I can't believe what I'm seeing right now. There before me stands the man I've longed to see. Aiden is there, right in front of my eyes. Am I dreaming? Is this real? Aiden steps closer to me, and my gaze lands all over him. As usual, he looks dashing in his smart casual look, wearing a black shirt with the first two buttons left undone -- showcasing just the right amount of skin on his toned chest. The sleeves are rolled up, exposing his forearms. He's wearing slacks in the same color. There's a small smile on his face, which makes me think that this is indeed a dream. It's impossible. The last time I saw him, he barely acknowledged my existence. The look he threw me was so cold it pierced my heart. No, he didn't even want to look at me, didn't even want to turn his head in my direction. So why is he now looking at me with a longing so deep like I'm his everything? The longer I stare at him, the more it seems like this isn't real. I missed him. I missed him so much that I can't help the tears welling in my eyes at the sight of him. But then, the pain striking my heart reminds me of how he broke my heart, so I abruptly turn around and walk in the opposite direction. I only manage a few steps before the lights suddenly brighten the room. My eyes travel around the entire white walls surrounding the space. I was wrong. This place wasn't entirely empty. I see paintings hung on the wall across me, but each of them is hidden under a white cloak so it was hard to spot them on the wall earlier in the dark. "Nevaeh," Aiden's voice echoes, and my heart almost stops. I hadn't heard his voice for so long. The way he said my name makes me want to cry because he called me in a way he always did before that day when everything shattered. Like he needs me. I can't move. A part of me is still trying to comprehend what's happening while another part doesn't want to answer him. I'm afraid that my heart will break into pieces again if I talk to him. Why did he even come here to see me? Now I know that Maya and Ash were lying. It was all his plan that I came here. "Nevaeh," Aiden calls me again, and this time, his voice is shaking, so vulnerable. It holds so much sadness. I can't breathe, and my eyes water even more. Why is he calling me like that? Why is it so different than the last time he spoke to me? Why is all that coldness gone? I'm still frozen on the spot. I don't want to turn around. Aiden's footsteps echo behind me. He's approaching me. I want to walk away, but it feels like my feet are nailed onto the ground. Aiden places his palms on my shoulders gently and turns me around slowly. I can't bring myself to face him. My eyes dart to the floor instead. My heart leaps like a wild stag in my throat when he tilts my chin up with two fingers. His eyes glisten as he looks into mine. He lets out a shaky breath, as though what he sees in my eyes hits him hard. I don't know what he sees in them, but I feel ashamed because there's no way that I can hide my feelings for him. He may be able to read it now and I just want to die. What's the point if he will only break my heart all over again? "I'm sorry," Aiden whispers brokenly. "I'm sorry that I'd been so stupid for not realizing this. I'm sorry that I let my fear get in the way. I'm sorry, Nevaeh." I frown, trying to figure out what that means. When I say nothing, he continues, "the things I said to you before you left… I didn't mean any of them." He shakes his head. My brows furrow. He's killing me with all this confusion. "I don't understand." I start to step back, but he keeps me in place, not letting go of my shoulder. Aiden's expression shows me that every step I take to distance myself from him will kill him. "I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness." His voice cracks. "You have the right to not want to see me anymore or hear anything from me. I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain." He takes a deep breath. "But please believe me. What I said to you back then was the furthest from the truth. I can't let you go." I shake my head in denial. Fear engulfs me. I'm scared. I'm scared that I will have that faith again. I'm scared that I will believe something impossible. I'm scared to forget that another woman has already had his heart and that he has never been mine to keep. "You told me to leave." My lips tremble as I say it with anger laced in every word. I don't need this. I barely survive it the first time, and I don't think that I can survive the second time if I get hurt again. "You said that you didn't want me in your life anymore." The sentence he threw at me that day still follows me, ringing in my ears every time I have the nightmare. "You said that you were leaving me, and so I had to go." My voice is shaking and filled with pain. I snap his hand away and break free from him. He swallows, watching as I try my best to not burst into tears. "You wanted me gone." "Nevaeh--" "You went to see her," I raise my voice, wrapping my arms around myself as I shake my head again and again. "You didn't come home as you promised me. You were with her. You're still in love with Olivia, and she's finally back. Why are you even here?"