Chapter 142: Regret

Chapter 142: Regret
I hear you.

I hear you loud and clear brother.

Wayne echoed in his head as Rojan exited the room.

This was one of the few moments when his beast's grip on his mind was faint. He was lucid and could process his thoughts clearly.

Sailing in the background and locked in by his wolf, unable to do anything, he had just listened to the plea in Rojan's voice.

He was sorry to have left him with so much burden.

He was sorry to be unable to perform his duties and put Rojan in an awkward position where he had to lie to protect his throne and also conceal his madness.

He was sorry that he had beaten the daylights out of him and nearly killed him because he was trying his best not to hurt him.

He was sorry and ashamed that he had attacked Earnest and every other person who had brought in his meals.

He was sorry for neglecting his wolf needs and doing whatever he pleased, ignoring the fact that they were a team and suppressing its desires constantly was wrong. They were two sides of his nature that made him whole and complete.

Lastly, and the most important of them all, he was sorry that he had betrayed his mate's trust.

In the three weeks, he was locked down here, when he was not raging and itching for violence. He had time to think.

To replay their time together, from the first moment she walked up to him in that bar until the very moment, she left him.

The problem started because of his expectations.

High unrealistic expectations. In his arrogance, he had crafted out who and how his mate should be, without giving room to providence.

Keeping an open mind and setting aside his wants, would have allowed him to see her for who she was.

To embrace her strengths and identify her weaknesses.

It would have been an enjoyable experience to see how well she fit his needs or how they could work together to improve her strength, so she could fit in better.

But stupidly, he had been too occupied with his plans. Scheming and plotting, torturing himself when they could have used the time to build something beautiful.

His ego had blinded him to think that he deserved better and she was beneath his standards.

He had only seen what he could get out of her, not what they could create together.

The universe had guided him to her, but in his foolishness and arrogance, he had destroyed what they could have had.

Thinking about his blunders in the past…the unwarranted distance he had put between them, the boundaries he had set up with the contract. The isolation and constant loneliness he inflicted on her. The emotional unavailability he showed no care to hide, making her feel unwanted and unloved.

Even when she confessed her feelings to him, all he was interested in was her transformation and the second contract he had made.

The blatant mistake that had opened the door for the enemy to come in.

He was a jerk.

A scumbag.

She deserved better. Someone who would love her for who she was and would not judge her.

Someone who mirrored her feelings and reciprocated them with genuine intentions.

He was the lowest of the low.

A trickster, a deceiver, a fraud.

In his selfishness, he had chased her away and into the camp of his arch-enemy. Where her life now hung in the balance.

What was worse?

He could not go to save her. Could not do a thing about it. He was tied here, useless to her, to himself, to Rojan, and to every other person.

He was unequivocally mad.

And posed a potential risk to all those around him. He was a loose cannon that could explode at any moment.

In the past, he had been ashamed that people would hear of his human mate and his reputation would be tarnished.

Right now, his reputation was in shambles and it was not her fault.

He had done that to himself. Just as Rojan had reported, tales of a mad king had traveled far and wide.

During his rare moments of reflection down here, he had heard his household staff whisper in hushed tones.

One had said, "Our king has gone mad; he attacks anyone within his sight."

"I hear his wolf has gone rabid, a virus that attacks the brain and makes you thirsty for blood," another replied.

"He wants to eat our flesh and drink our blood. A cannibalistic parasite, like the vampires that feed on blood and the rotting ghouls that consume flesh," a different one said.

"Oh my goodness, that is horrible. Lord Rojan should do all of us a favor and behead him quickly," the first exclaimed.

"Behead our king?" The second asked, shocked.

"Yes, he should. What if the madness is contagious and he infects us all with his virus? Then we all would be blood drinkers and flesh eaters," the first explained.

"But still, does he deserve to die? Perhaps he can be healed," the second objected.

"It has been three weeks already with no notable change. Should we wait till we are devoured in our sleep one night before an action is taken?" the first demanded.

"Holy mother! You have a point. I will resign by tomorrow. I will also warn any relatives and friends I have to stay away from the King's mansion for now," the third had said with panic audible in her voice.

Wayne had felt deeply ashamed after hearing the conversation.

His own staff feared him and spread rumors of his insanity. They wanted him dead so they could feel safe. It was greatly embarrassing.

He was supposed to be the protector of plane Weode, not the other way around, whereby people protected themselves from him.

Some time ago, Rojan had asked him if he was sure he would not regret his actions.

Confidently he had demanded what was there to regret about?

Today, sitting in this dimly lit room, in his basement.

With tattered clothes and chains wrapped around his body.

He did regret it.