Chapter 60 Sixty
Ashira’s POV
Two weeks had passed. I recovered a little from the pain of losing my mate. I got the hang of living in this pack and being with their Alpha, Aiden. He come and go from time to time but not a single day has passed that he don’t visit.
We talk. I still hate him but we talk. I don’t know why I feel different when he is around. Its not a light feeling, I can feel my chest twisting with pain and wrath but something in me whispers that I enjoy his company.
During daylight, I feel fine. Coping. Better. Not until the dark comes.
I still cry whenever a picture of Elon pops out of my head but it often happens at night and it deprives me of having enough sleep. At bed time, I use all thoughts I have to think. And it mostly consists of Elon.
But during the day, I feel different. I feel mixed types of emotions. I feel alive.
“Who are you?”
The man I asked looked at me with a funny expression. His brow is arched and the side of his lips are up as if smirking. I hate his guts, is what I first think but there’s something inside me that says he is a good person.
“Man!” he looked up and chuckled. “You don’t recognize the person who almost died saving you?”
I fumbled.
What is he… talking about? He saved me? When?
I frowned and crinkled my nose. “You saved me? This is the first time I met you.” And I’m not lying.
“I was briefed that its useless to remind things to you but I’m a rule-breaker guy sometimes. I used to follow your reckless plans and decisions, you know.”
My mind was confused with what he was saying but it made me think harder of who he is or if I met him before or if he was saying the truth.
“The name is ‘Seth’, and you’re too young to forget things, Ash.” he leaned closer and smiled at me. I shifted my body backwards because of the little distance left between us. “Remember soon, Luna.” he whispered in a serious expression.
“Seth.” a voice said and that made the guy in front of me jumped away back to his seat.
“Oops.”
I don’t need to look behind me to see who arrives. It’s Aiden. I got accustomed with his voice and scent. I can hear his footsteps getting closer and the man named Seth looked at me again then grinned.
“I’ll continue guarding you from far, I’ll go now!” he intentionally shouted for Aiden’s ear to reach though I didn’t think shouting is necessary because we are werewolves, our hearing senses are enhanced.
Seth is gone in a glimpse and Aiden sat to where Seth left to.
“Did he bothered you?” he asked. His eyes were looking at me and it seems normal but I think there is something deep in those eyes.
It’s… speaking to me. Saying more words I couldn’t understand but I know there is something in it.
“Did he say anything that may distract your peace, Ashira?” he asked again and I could say he is slightly annoyed by my silence.
I pulled my gaze away and sighed. “He didn’t had the chance to.” My eyes went back at his, I seem to be magnetized by his eyes.
Its weird. At times that I remember my mate and his face flashes on my mind, I can see Aiden’s eyes in Elon’s face though I know my mate don’t own a pair of golden-brown eyes but a brown hazel eyes.
Its weird. I’ve said the word ‘weird’ redundantly but its true. These days, I feel like I’m schizophrenic. Like I have two different personality, two different emotions, two worlds. Everything about me is halved. I tell you, its weird.
I saw his eyes soften as our gazes locked for a while.
“I will order him to watch from afar from now on.” he broke the eye contact and I almost groaned when his attention was not on me, feeling a little jealous over the flying butterflies in front of us.
“Why?” I frowned.
He looked at me and mirrored the same frown in his forehead. “He can be a nuisance at times.”
“I don’t mind. I didn’t complain. Are you on your stupid power-tripping mood again?”
Aiden’s jaw dropped and he was silent for a while before closing his eyes then pinching the bridge of his nose.
He looks stressed, is it my fault? He really is a power-tripping person though. I guess he doesn’t like to be called that, huh?
“I’m not. If you like keeping him around then I’ll let him get close to you from time to time.”
“I don’t have a choice here, Aiden. I won’t ask for requests or anything for my favor but its not bad to have someone to talk sometimes.”
Now that Lucianna has gone back to her pack, all I can do is stare at his house garden all day.
“I’d like to accompany you but the pack is in chaos without me-”
“Oh, no, I’m-I’m not saying I want to be with… you.”
Fuck. Why did that sound so wrong? I meant it that I don’t want to be with him but not in a rude way.
Who am I kidding? Am I trying to be kind with the man who ordered to kill my mate?
I looked away so I could not see his reaction. I don’t know but I think I’ll hate seeing his expression right now.
“Don’t be guilty, I understand you.”
I snapped my head to him. “I’m not guilty!”
“Your face says so.”
I can feel my face burning. Am I angry or ashamed? Why is it that I’m not sure with my own emotions?
“Well, I’m not guilty. “ I looked away. “I only tell the truth so I have nothing to be guilty about.”
“Okay.”
I peak a look at him and saw him smirking. I scoffed. There’s no point of arguing over this kind of conversation, right?
Dread minutes of silence passed by us and I had calmed myself from the thoughts that kept confusing my chest. I can hear his breathing, his pulse, his heart beat, the singing birds, the wind. All I mentioned helped me calm and feel serene.
“Do you want to go somewhere?”
If he didn’t spoke, I wouldn’t realize that I was closing my eyes and enjoying the peaceful feeling I started to have.
“Where?”
Right now, I’m not going against Aiden. I’m in his pack, I’m under his power and its not good to always fought when in enemy’s lair. I kind of accepted the fact that I can’t escape what and where I am now.
“Somewhere.”
“Why are you asking me to come?”
He looked at me and when his eyes met with mine, I felt the same feeling I was having with him again.
That feeling where my heart beats loud on my ears, my vision focuses and my mind seems to question something but doesn’t know what to ask.
“Aren’t you bored? I’m not going to harm you, don’t worry.”
I’m not worried. To be honest, its not just his voice that I got accustomed with. The times I had in his territory, I didn’t saw him try something bad or even his colleagues.
I touched my belly and its almost full-grown now. He looked down and watched my hand caress my bump so I stopped doing it. He looked at me again and this time, he wears an expression that in the middle of sad and hurt.
I sighed.
“Okay…”
“Do you want to shift to your wolf?” Aiden asked as we walks quietly in the middle of the forest.
I don’t know where we are going but there’s a pathway that seems to exist naturally. So I am guessing that the place we are heading is not secluded.
“Uh,” I gave his suggestion a good thought because I feel like I needed a run, too but another part of my head says I don’t want to be naked in front of a stranger after. “No.”
“You sure? I know you loved running and if you don’t want to be naked later, I can ask someone to bring clothes for you.”
I looked at him as I walk. It’s not new to me that he acts like he knew me well but it always caught me off my guard.
I decided to refrain from asking questions I won’t believe after. “Maybe some other time.”
Aiden nodded and we fell silent again.
It’s not too long before we reached a clearing and I can hear the gushes of water, birds chirping and calm refreshing wind.
I felt excitement and fascination that I walked faster than him, moving forward towards the light and…
“Wow!” I exclaimed! It’s a river! And this place has a peaceful atmosphere with all the greens surrounding the clear blue waters! The view is breathtaking!
“Welcome back to our spot.” his breath touched my ears as he whispers behind me and I almost jumped from realizing how close he was to me.
Our.
I don’t remember being here ever but maybe Aiden is trying to plant his thoughts on my head again so I let it go and ignored what he said.
“This is amazing! No one is here though, does nobody fund this place yet?” I walked closer to the river and watched my own reflection from the water. It’s crystal clear and even there’s a current, I can see myself still.
“Everyone in my pack knew this place and they know its off-limits so they never dare to come here.” Aiden walked closer to me again but this time he put enough distance between us. I managed to breath and calm myself now that he is not too close.
“I see. Power-tripping.” I whispered the last words but I heard him chuckle. I smiled and bit my lower lip to suppress laughing.
Ohh. He heard it and didn’t argue, huh?
“How’s your pregnancy? Does our baby giving you a hard time?”
Our. He always claim my baby as his. This, I can’t get used to.
“It’s fine. And its my baby, Aiden. Stop using the word ‘our’.” I sighed. I got tired fighting with him because he is so determined to claim me as his own mate. It feels like we are fighting a battle with opposite theme and no one will win in the end.
“It is mine.” his voice is proud, serious. I just sighed. Here he goes again.
“I don’t remember making this child with you. Elon and I shared-”
I was caught off guard when Aiden was suddenly standing in front of me. His height hovers me and the way he look at my eyes makes me feel little.
Am I… scared?
“Don’t you dare go there, Ashira. I might forget that you are not yourself and you won’t like what I will do to you next.”
I swear I paled from how powerful his voice gripped on me that he almost reached my soul. I can’t utter a word and if only my lips are not formed in a tight flat line, he might see how much I trembles.
“The child is mine. Its ours. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, but don’t deprive me of my right.” his hands reached out and his palms met my cheeks. He caress his thumb on the side of my lip and I couldn’t stand the warmth I felt from his touch.
What is happening to me? I feel like a part of me is submitting to him, softening.
He moved closer and my heart can’t stop beating fast and loud. His golden-brown eyes have drowned me with the way it looked at me now and there’s a familiar pain in my chest. Not pity, but close. I feel as if I need to do something for him and I don’t know what.
His forehead touched mine and everything around me seems like flowers and rainbows. I closed my eyes from the feeling. It’s overwhelming.
I... like it.
“Imagining the thoughts you have right now with another man, the memories of us that faded, your love that I longed for everyday. You have a lot of ways to hurt me and the list goes on. I’m already at my edge, baby.”
I opened my eyes when he moved away and I still feel him close. I saw Aiden looking down to my baby bump. I watched as his hands reached up towards my belly and I noticed that his hands are slightly trembling as if he was scared to touch me.
The moment his hands touched my belly, I swear I felt the child inside me moved!
I never felt it move!
Aiden breathed and smiled when he felt the movement inside my bump. He looked at me and I can’t explain why I wanted to cry from the happiness I saw in his eyes.
Why would I cry? Damn it!
Aiden slowly knelt and softly touched his forehead on my belly. “Hi there, pup.” his voice trembled and I don’t know if he was crying or what.
I feel like I’m complete and incomplete. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I should shove him off, kick him but no. No, its not what my other half is saying. Does my baby wants Aiden? Did my child took a liking with the killer of his father?
Aiden looked up to me, his eyes are sad, pleading.
“Please, even if you don’t remember me, even if you hate me now, please let me hold you like this. I want to end the feeling of dying, Ashira. Please let me love you even if you don’t, let me be a father to our child. And even if its too selfish to ask, let me feel alive again.”
He stood up and face me. His eyes are wet, he is not crying but I am.
My tears are pooling like falls down my cheek and soft rough sobs escaped my throat. I am hurting. I am hurting but I don’t know why. I am clueless of myself.
Its weird.
I’m crying but without any picture of my mate’s face on my mind.
I’m hurting but without the thought of my dead Elon.
I’m crying and hurting for Aiden.
I jumped and placed my arms around his neck and embraced him tight.
“Ahhhh!” I screamed my cry because I can’t take it anymore. I wanted to cry in his arms and I don’t care how my other part says its not right but now, I feel I should. I need to.
I cried hard over and over again.
He slowly encircled his arms around me, burying his face on my neck. His hand were on my waist, hugging tight and the other was holding the back of my head.
“Are you crying because of Elon again?” he asked in a whisper.
I shook my head hard.
“Then why are you crying?”
I cried again, sobs after sobs, I can’t speak clearly. All my throat wanted to utter was screams of cry.
“I-I d-don’t know…”
I really don’t know.
“Alpha of Prime pack of the North.” a voice with a spiky and power tone said from somewhere.
I felt Aiden’s hug loosened and in a blinkhe quickly hide me on his back. I was still crying and unaware of what is happening around me.
“No need to worry, Alpha. I came to help.” said the voice again.
I calmed myself and looked over to Aiden’s side to see the person he was trying to block me on.
There, a tall and muscular man stands as he wears a black suit with a black hat. He looked vintage, like he lived from the past. There’s a different aura around him and I can feel that this guy is danger.
“Alpha King.” Aiden bowed his head to the man and my eyes grew wide upon hearing the identity of the man in front of us.