Chapter 58 Fifty Eight

Chapter 58 Fifty Eight
Aiden’s POV

“How dare you to come near me?” Her voice is trembling but I heard the hate and anger in it with clear emphasis.
I never thought that the sparkling eyes I adored will ever look at me like this. Like I’m a monster. Like I shouldn’t even exist.
Can’t she feel our bond at all?
My mind is puzzled, its breaking apart. This situation is dreading, and the lack of solution or cure for Ashira’s case had increases the frustration I feel that leads to a building sense of lost on my part. The pain in my chest was the last thing I have on the list, or so I tried.
Because if I don’t and just let myself get drowned from every sting I felt in my soul, I won’t be able to function. At all.
“This is my pack.I make the rules.”
I know I sounded rude but I can’t find any more ways to talk to her without begging, pleading or breaking down. I feel so weak, I feel so hopeless but I should be strong or we won’t survive this.
“Power-trip, right? That’s what you use to kill my Elon. You used your power to order some rogue to kill the father of my child!”
My. I felt a loud thud inside my chest and my wolf just stumbled inside me upon hearing her words.
Instead, I let out a fake laugh that made a deep crease on her forehead. I think she’ll burst her anger anytime soon so I decided to speak before she does.
“If only your believed mate is alive, I’ll be glad to kill him again.”
I saw her eyes widened before her nose flared. “You are heartless.”
“You took my heart, I won’t wonder why.”
My eyes softened as I look at her reaction, she seem to be shocked at what she heard from me. But what more touched my soul was the way I sensed the effects I gave her.
I touched her soul. Only for a bit because her walls started to guard up again.
“I won’t cheat with my mate.” she said. I sighed from the frustration of how she was picking up the conversation.
“I know.” You will never cheat with me. “Can I sit beside you?”
“You are asking? You just shoved to my face how powerful you are in your territory. Even if I say ‘no’, you’ll still have it your way.”
“If I’m having it my way, you will be in my arms.” I sighed. “I need a talk with you.”
Silence was what she responded me with. Was she taken aback? Am I making this quick? I’m not lying though. I wanted to held her in my arms, feel her body that I miss, touch her, kiss her. Tell her how much I love her.
“You are flirting with me.” she stated and I chuckled.
I am, baby.
She moved on the edge of the bench and motioned for me to sit and that made me smile. Ashira, even though she was unaware of what I really am to her, she still have the same kind heart.
I sat on the other edge and my heart lighten up a bit.
This is enough. This feels enough. I can live with this.
“I’m not forgiving you for what you did to Elon.”
This again… I wanted to get tired from all of this but no, she is not aware of the truth. She didn’t know she was mine. She still is.
“I am not asking for forgiveness.” I sighed.
“You’re rude.”
I looked at her and when her eyes met with mine, she quickly looked away. She hates me and I can feel her anger but her actions somewhat opposed her emotions and words.
I looked at the bump on her belly and in just a short time, it grew bigger than yesterday. I can even hear my pup’s pulse inside her womb, I can feel it sensing me back.
Upon noticing the way I look at her bulging tummy, she placed her hand on top of it as if that will cover it. I chuckled.
“What do you want from me?” I heard her ask but my eyes was kept on her belly as she starts to stroke it gently.
Damn, I wanna do that too.
“Are you planning to do something bad to my child?” there is fear and disgust in her voice. The mixture of her tone made the hole in my chest grew larger, expanded with a pain I’m surprised I took in.
With clenched jaw, I looked her back in the eyes. My expression is hardened, hurt, but I’m trying my best to resist the irritation I felt from her question.
“I will never do that to my child.” I hissed after saying the words. It came out with too much anger that she may absorb. “I’m not the bad one here.”
“Your?” Her emerald eyes squinted as it looked at me with confusion and disbelief. “You called my baby yours? How dare you?!” she stood up, her eyes were angry and hateful as if I’m a monster.
I tilted my head to the side, diverting my vision away from her and my tongue pushing the inside of my cheeks to stop myself because I can feel myself bursting any moment.
“This is my child with Elon! The Alpha you just killed! The one who never did anything to you but you decided to kill him because you are powerful! Well, guess what? I don’t care if you are the strongest Alpha of the North, if strongest means you can kill anyone who didn’t do anything to be killed then I rather be with the weakest-”
“You don’t know anything, woman.”
The nerves on my forehead started to throb. I am starting to lose it and the view of my mate blabbering non-sense overpowers the sympathy I have for her for being like this.
“I know you killed my Elon just for your own-”
My head snapped back to her and looked at her eyes with narrowing eyes.
“I KILLED HIM BECAUSE HE STOLE YOU FROM ME!” I growled! My voice echoed from how loud I shouted and it made Ashira jump, startled from my sudden outburst. I’m not a person of patience, but it is not my intention to scare her that I immediately regretted my actions.
Her face still have that same hatred but its mixed with confusion. She looks at me as if I’m dumb, like I’m a fool.
Maybe, I am.
“Aiden!” Lucianna came from nowhere and stand between me and Ashira. I shook my head and looked up where the sky was dark. Funny how the stars are not visible, too. I feel like the skies are mirroring my life ironically.
My voice was heard from the basement, I wouldn’t be surprised if it reached the whole pack. Damn.
“You should tell it to her in a more gentler way. She won’t understand you that way.” Lucianna scoffed and turned to Ashira who is now frowning at her friend.
“You’re on his side? I thought you don’t like him? And tell me what exactly?”
Lucy looked at me with a pleading look, as if she was asking me to stop something I’m not aware of but upon realizing my current state I found out that my eyes are red. My wolf took over quickly just when I lose my cool.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“I’ll tell you later but I need to talk with this guy first. I’ll get back to you later, Ash.”
Lucianna grabbed on my arm and pulled me away from where my mate stands bewildered. My wolf wanted to growl at Lucianna for taking the chance of telling her the truth but I took over already. I can’t keep losing over my wolf, that is un-Alpha thing to happen and I just become just that.
“Why did you shout at her like that!?” Her voice is low but with emphasis in every word. “You should’ve tell her in a calm way or else the both of you will just clash! She’s not the Ashira before, Aiden.”
“She’s still my Ashira. She didn’t change, her memories and beliefs are altered but she’s still my mate.”
“Well, she didn’t know that so start acting according to her state.”
I sighed. She have a point and I knew I lost it. I decided to refrain from speaking because what I did was not right.
“Now, I will talk to her. I will try to explain to her what happened-”
“I should be the one to do that, Lucianna.”
“And you blew off your chance by shouting and scaring her so back off for now, I’ll handle this.”
“She won’t believe you.”
“She won’t believe you, too, you know.”
Fuck. Why did I even think I’ll be a special case to this?
“But our bond might touch her again…” Lucianna looked at me with a pitying look and I immediately shook my head. “Stop giving me that look.”
“Then don’t act that way so you won’t gain ‘this’ look, Aiden. If you will not be stronger than this problem, then both of you will be lost.”
I sighed in defeat. I know that. I know but still, my emotions are exploding inside my chest when I’m near Ashira.
“I’ll talk to her, I’ll explain it and the rest is up to her.”
Our talk was done when I nodded to her last words. She is right, I blew my chance. But tomorrow, I’ll try again.

Ashira’s POV

There is something wrong with me. I can feel it.
I’m not sure if its because I had lost Elon or if from my pregnancy but something inside me feel like dying and awakening from time to time.
I can’t handle the pain whenever the thought of Elon’s face flashes in my head. My chest feels like I was stabbed by a sword bigger than my heart, tearing me in half, and the next thing I knew, I’m crying with my throat being clenched. I can’t shout, I can’t cry louder, I feel like someone was holding my neck, choking me everytime.
“Okay, now we can talk in peace.” Lucy jiggly walked to me and grinned. “Let’s get comfortable now.” she motioned for me to sit.
My eyes went to the rude Alpha named Aiden as I caught him staring at me while standing from where Lucy pulled him. I felt my friend tugged on my fingers and pull me back to the bench but my eyes never left those golden-brown eyes.
This is what I was talking about. When this man is near me, when I smell his scent, when I feel his presence, when I see him, I feel like I’m alive. If Elon’s picture in my head kills me, this guy makes me feel something… weird.
Why am I mesmerized by the eyes of my mate’s killer anyway?
The Alpha looked away first before heading towards the house. I watched him walk and everything looked like a slow-motion. My hand made a fist when I felt like something inside me has shaken.
This is what I’m talking about. There’s something about him that pulls me closer though I know I hate him but he still give me this kind of feels.
Lucianna noticed where I was looking and she snapped her head to the guy and scoffing, she looked back at me. “Don’t mind him. That reaction of him was normal since he is going through a lot so just bare with him.”
I frowned. “He said something…”
“Yeah, well,” Lucy shrugged and smile. A weak smile. The smile she does only when something is going on. The same smile she’s been giving me since last night. “You heard him clear, I bet.”
‘I killed him because he stole you from me!’
Those words echoed in my head with the same baritone loud voice. To be honest, I felt like my wolf howled inside me though I can’t see her howling. I haven’t seen my wolf since… I can’t remember. She seemed idle, far, resting, like I’m alone right now.
“Any questions?” Lucy have her brows up, waiting for me to speak but I couldn’t find my words. I feel like I got things I wanted to clarify and it feels like I had piled up questions but I don’t know where to start. “Confuse phase, huh?” she concluded from my silence.
I nodded and looked back at the house, he’s not there where he was standing all day. I knew he was guarding me and maybe that’s to be sure I won’t escape but… now it feels like he was watching me the entire time.
“He…” I trailed off when I saw Elon’s face in my head again. Again, a pinching feeling in my chest was there. I feel hurt, pained that I lost him.
“Hey, hey, why are you crying?”
I sobbed louder as tears pooled down my eyes like falls. My mouth was open but I can’t hear any sounds coming out of it. I feel the choking feeling again, as if my neck was held by someone, trapping the sounds.
I wanted to scream Elon’s name. I want to call for him. Ask anyone to bring his back. Bring my life back.
Lucianna hugged me tight as my world seems to crumble down on me..
“Hush, now, Ash. This is just a fake effect. You didn’t lose your mate. You didn’t lose him.”
I can hear Luce and I wanted to ask what she meant but I feel like I was caged inside this longing lonely feeling. I have my child inside me but I’m not happy, I fear I might lose it, too. I might lose us both.
“Listen to me,” Lucy held my face in her palms, making me look at her through my blurry vision. The sobbing from me continues but it started to died down again. An episode, it seems. “Whatever you are feeling right now is not true. You hear me?”
I shook my head. “N-No…”
“No? No, Ashira. It’s not real. That bastard Elon was not your mate. Aiden. Aiden is your true mate. He is your mate, listen to me!”
My sobs grew louder as the pain in my heart increases.
She said Aiden was my mate and I wanted to be confuse but the huge part of my head was screaming Elon’s name.
“E-Elon. Elon.” I whispered between my cries.
“Fuck.” Lucianna stood up and started walking back and forth as I kept sulking on the bench. I embraced myself because I feel like I need to. I have to. I feel like I’m tearing apart more and more as the picture of Elon in my head has added.
His smile. His laugh. The way he look…
Why… does Elon have the same golden brown eyes?
My cries halted in a brief second. As if an off button was pressed inside me.
“I’ll wait until you feel better. You need to hear this.”
Lucy said something but I didn’t understand her. My mind was focused with one thing.
Elon’s golden brown eyes that looked at me with an abundant of love and affection. But it confuses me of why the emotion seen in my mate’s eyes are the same with what that rude Alpha has.

Lucianna’s POV

I walked inside the Ancestral and found Aiden’s scent at the kitchen so I headed straight to him. He was alone.
“It’s no good.” I said the moment his eyes looked at mine. “Every time I try and tell her about the truth or about you, she breaks down and cry.”
He looked back at the glass he was holding and played with it. I figured he won’t talk so I decided to continue.
“I think your name is the key to trigger her breakdowns. Or the thought of you as her mate. The physical connection between you two were not though. Maybe you can try to talk to her again tomorrow?”
He sighed. “That’s the plan.” he said as he tapped his head with two fingers. “You need not to say it.” then he sipped on his drink.
“Oh.” Well, he is the type who never gives up anyway. “Jake will be coming here tomorrow, I will ask him to let me stay a little bit longer-”
“He needs you, too. It’s okay if he wants you back to his pack,”
“He’ll understand. I don’t want to leave yet, anyway. Plus, he’s just visit for a bit.”
He nodded and I decided to excuse myself.
As I was walking out of the Ancestral, I took a quick glance on the garden where Ashira is.
I hope everything went well tomorrow.