Chapter 12 012
EMILY
“Morgan, you really didn’t have to come with me,” I said as I pulled into the hospital parking lot the next afternoon.
My hands were still a little shaky on the steering wheel. I hadn’t slept more than two hours the night before. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Ryan’s face in the ballroom. Saw the way his knees bent when he realized what Zara was to him. Heard the word DNA echoing in my head like a verdict.
Morgan turned toward me, guilt written all over her face. She’d been wearing that same apologetic look since I called her crying at two in the morning, voice breaking so badly I could barely form words.
“I’m so sorry for pushing you to go to that gala, Em,” she said quietly. “I swear I didn’t know Aaron was Ryan’s friend. I mostly dealt with his secretary, and I was so excited about the potential investment for Sugar Rush that I didn’t even ask for the person’s full name. He just said he knew you and that he’d find you at the event. I thought it was a good thing. I thought…” She shook her head. “I don’t know. I thought it would be harmless networking.”
I stared straight ahead, watching a couple cross the lot with a newborn carrier, the tiny bundle inside completely unaware of the world waiting to bruise it.
“It’s not your fault,” I said finally, reaching to turn off the engine. The silence that followed felt heavy, pressing in on my chest. “None of this is. Come on… let’s go settle things with him.”
Morgan nodded and unbuckled her seatbelt. Then she twisted around to smile at Zara in the backseat.
“Hey, princess. Ready for your big hospital adventure?”
Zara clapped her hands, legs kicking excitedly. “Adventure! Can I get a sticker?”
Morgan laughed softly. “If you’re brave, you’ll get two.”
I grabbed my purse and stepped out of the car, forcing my legs to move even though they felt unsteady. Zara was already reaching for Morgan, arms outstretched. I let her carry her without comment. My arms felt too weak to hold anything extra today.
The hospital smelled like antiseptic and faint coffee, the kind that had been sitting on a burner too long. The sound of rolling carts and distant monitors echoed through the lobby.
My chest tightened automatically, muscle memory from the last time I’d been here three years ago—alone, terrified, carrying secrets that felt too big for my body.
Ryan was waiting right by the reception area.
He looked up the second we entered.
His eyes went straight to Zara first then slowly lifted to me. He didn’t smile. He didn’t frown. He just nodded once. Careful. Polite. Like he was afraid one wrong expression might shatter something fragile between us.
Zara spotted him before I could redirect her.
“Blue-eyes man!” she chirped.
That little betrayer.
My heart squeezed so hard I almost smiled despite everything. Despite the anger. Despite the ache.
I cleared my throat. “Let’s get this over with.”
Morgan shot Ryan a glare sharp enough to draw blood. He cleared his throat too and gestured down the hallway.
“This way.”
The nurse was gentle. Calm. Efficient. She explained everything in a soft voice that made the process feel almost routine, like this wasn’t a moment that might rewrite all our lives.
Zara sat on my lap for her swab. She scrunched her nose dramatically when the cotton touched her cheek, then burst into giggles the second it was over.
“Tickles, Mommy!”
I laughed automatically, even as my chest burned.
Ryan watched every single second.
He stood a few feet away, hands shoved deep into his pockets, but I could see his fingers flexing like he wanted to reach out and touch her. Like restraint was costing him something physical.
When it was his turn, I kept my eyes fixed on Zara. I didn’t look at him.
I couldn’t.
The nurse smiled as she sealed the samples. “Results will be emailed to both of you tomorrow if you don’t want to come back in person. You’ll have them by the end of the day.”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice steadier than I felt.
We stepped back into the hallway. The door clicked shut behind us, the sound echoing louder than it should have.
I turned to leave.
Ryan reached out and gently caught my elbow.
“Emily. Wait.”
I froze.
Morgan didn’t hesitate. She took Zara’s hand without a word. “Come on, sweet girl. Let’s go see if they have juice in the waiting area.”
“Juice!” Zara said happily, already skipping along beside her.
The second they were out of earshot, Ryan dropped his hand and looked at me like I was the only person left in the building.
“I want to be in my daughter’s life,” he said quietly.
His voice cracked just slightly on my name.
“If the test says she’s mine, I want to be in her life. I want to introduce her to my parents. Let Zara know her grandparents. Let them love her the way they should have from the very beginning.”
The words hit me like punches I hadn’t braced for.
Grandparents.
I stared at him, my throat tightening, heat rushing behind my eyes. I scoffed, but it came out broken. Ugly.
“Your family?” I asked softly. “Your family treated me like scum after what happened, Ryan. Your mom looked me in the eye and said I’d been sleeping with Fred for months. She said it like it was fact. Like I was trash.”
His face crumpled.
“And I wonder,” I continued, my voice shaking now, “what you told them. What stories you gave them. I never slept with Fred and I told you.”
He flinched hard, like I’d struck him.
“I don’t care what you told them,” I said quickly, tears spilling despite my efforts. “I just… I…” My breath hitched. I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. “Ryan.”
He stepped back, giving me space. His own eyes were glassy.
“I’m sorry,” he said. The words were soft. Raw. Bare.
Then he turned and walked away.
Slow. Shoulders tight. Like every step cost him something.
I stood there long after he disappeared around the corner, my legs trembling, my chest aching like something had been reopened that never truly healed.
Morgan came back a minute later, Zara sipping apple juice from a little box, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. Morgan took one look at my face and handed Zara to me without a word.
Then she pulled me into the biggest, warmest hug.
“Are you okay?” she whispered into my hair.
I nodded against her shoulder even though my eyes were still leaking. “I’m okay. I was just… in my feelings.”
She squeezed tighter. “You’ll be fine, babe. You always are.”
Zara patted my cheek with her sticky fingers. “Mommy sad?”
I kissed her forehead and forced a smile. “Mommy’s okay, baby. Mommy’s just thinking about how much she loves you.”
She grinned. “I love you too. And blue-eyes man is nice.”
My throat closed. “Yeah,” I whispered. “He is.”
We walked back to the car together. Morgan drove this time. I sat in the back with Zara, her head resting on my lap, her little hand curled around my finger like she knew I needed holding.
I looked out the window at the passing trees, my heart heavy and hopeful all at once. For the first time in three years, I didn’t feel completely alone.
And that scared me more than anything.