Chapter 22

A week later – Kildare, Ireland – Saturday.

Rae.

The past week I have done nothing but beat myself up over the death of a not-so-innocent woman. She and I both thought, at the time, she had killed Edmund. I sit on the floor in the bathroom now and stare at the piece of paper taped to the mirror across the room.

“Say them, Rae.” Edmund stands in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I can’t.” A tear slips down my cheek. I haven’t been able to since the first day. The day everything went so wrong.

“You can. Or you can be punished for it.”

“Then fucking punish me for it, Edmund! I don’t give a shit anymore!” I scream the words at him, slamming my head back against the wall. My fists clenched in my lap.

I haven’t left the bedroom or bathroom in a week and every morning we have this same battle, the same fight over and over again. It ends the same way every time. He gives in, too weak to hold me to the threats he holds over me. I sit and sob because he isn’t giving me what I need most.

“Get up. Get dressed. We’re leaving.” Edmund leaves the bathroom and I’m left staring after him, wondering what we are doing today, what has changed that has him acting so different than every other morning.

“Where are we going?” I stand in the doorway and call out after him as he makes his way down the hall.

“Get dressed, Rae. Coffee will be ready in a few minutes.”

“What am I supposed to wear?” I stall a little more. I don’t want to leave the bedroom. Don’t want to go down the hall and see the place in the other room where I watched him die.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re not going to have it on for long. Just get fucking dressed then come out here.”

“No! I don’t want to.” I stomp my foot at him. He has been bringing my coffee and all of my meals to me in the bedroom. I’m trapped here, can’t leave because I can’t make it past the couch where his bloodstains soaked through the floor. The spot on the floor where I kicked the body of the woman I had killed.

“Rae.” He is standing at the end of the hall now, a coffee mug in his hands. “Come here, kitten.”

“No,” I say and shake my head, tears falling down my cheeks. “I’ll leave. I’ll leave the apartment with you. But I can’t do that. Can’t come down there and be in that room with you. I can’t.”

“You need to. You need to be in this room with me and see that I am still here. Still right here with you. Still breathing, still alive. For now, and forever.” Edmund holds his hand out to me and I don’t budge. “Get dressed then.”

“Coffee?” I ask weakly, holding my hand out to him.

“No.” He turns and heads to the kitchen, holding my coffee hostage.

I pick out a sundress from my drawer, something light and flow with yellow flowers on it that makes me feel alive. Makes me feel ready to conquer the day. Whatever we are going to do, I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. But I suppose I’ll have to be.

“Ready?” Edmund asks from the kitchen as I sit on the edge of the bed and stare down the hall.

“I’m hungry.”

“We can eat on the way. Come on.” He stands at the end of the hall now, holding his hand out to me. I shake my head at him. My entire body is shaking, tears pour down my face. I can’t do it, no matter how hard I try to take a step forward, I simply cannot. My feet are locked to the ground and I weep.

I turn my back to the door and cover my face with my hands, trying to hide my shame. “I’m sorry,” I say, when I feel his hand on my back.

“I’ve got you. Come on.” He picks me up, tosses me over his shoulder and carries me down the hall. I bury my face in his back, covering my eyes with his shirt, trying to block out the of his broken and bloody body on the couch that is burned on the back of my eyelids.

Outside of the apartment door he sets me on my feet, and helps me straighten my dress. Kissing me gently on the forehead, I smile up at him and the tears fill my eyes again. “I can’t go back in there. I can’t be trapped in there anymore.”

“I know. We’re going to move upstairs, or out. Or to the city. Somewhere, anywhere, so I can have you back. But I won’t make you go back in there again, Rae.”

“Thank you.” I wipe the tears from my eyes, the brokenness inside me taking over again.

Edmund leads me up the stairs and across the great hall to the front door. When we get into his car I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a week. Feel like I am not suffocating under my own decision.

“I don’t want to stay here, at the keep.” The words come out of their own free will, but I don’t stop them, it is the truth. I simply don’t want to stay here where so many memories torment me.

“Then we won’t.” When he pulls the car to the side of the road, in front of the massive oak tree with the scar across the front of it, I turn and look at him. “You don’t think it kills me to drive by this spot every day? Where I had to see your burning car with your broken body inside it? You don’t think it kills me to stay here just as much as it does you?” I shake my head, not having given it any thought before now.

My hand flies to my mouth. “Oh my God, Edmund. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. But understand why I will take you away from this place and we will not come back.” I nod as tears slip from my eyes.

“Okay.” We agree and he pulls the car back onto the driveway and slowly we make our way out onto the road. “Where are we going to go?”

“Dublin,” he tells me without hesitation. “We will go and find a place today. Then tonight we will take care of your other issue.”

I drop my head in my hands and let the tears take me over completely again. I feel some of the tension leaving my shoulders as Edmund reaches over and puts his hand on my shoulder. I feel like I can relax, knowing what is coming, knowing he will follow through on giving me what I need now that we have the rest of it out of the way.

* * *

Dublin, Ireland.

Edmund.

Finding an apartment in the city doesn’t prove to be hard. When we pull up out front of the market, we grab one of the flyers from the stand and flip through the listing of available apartments. Settling on a few to go see today, we make a list and start making phone calls.

By dinnertime we have seen four apartments and think we have settled on one we both like.

“Where are we going to stay tonight?” Rae asks me from the passenger seat.

“A hotel.” I shrug.

“Fine with me, but what about our stuff?”

“I’ll call and have someone pack it. They said we could move in this week. They just have to wait for everything to be finalized. So, I figure a few nights in a hotel and then we will be all set.” I rest my hand on her thigh and feel her tense at my touch. I hate the feeling, she used to come alive for me. But now every time I touch her it feels like she is about to bolt from me.

“Sorry,” she says, visibly trying to relax in the car seat next to me.

“Do you want to get dinner? Or are you ready for the next stop of the day?”

“What’s the next stop? I’m not hungry.”

“The Playhouse. You have been asking me all week to give you what you’re craving and I haven’t. I thought I knew better. Thought that it wouldn’t really help you. But I should have trusted you to know what you need, Rae and I’m sorry. We will go and I will punish you for what you think you need to be punished for.” I lift my hand to stop her from interrupting me. “Even though I don’t agree with it, and don’t think you deserve to be punished for anything.”

“I do.” Her voice is low and she looks at her hands in her lap.

“I understand you genuinely believe you do and that this will help you. Which is the only reason I am agreeing to it. The gear bag is in the back. I have everything. Do you want to talk about it now? Plan this out and agree on what your limits are for the night?” I watch her swallow hard, thinking through my words.

“Yes, Master.”

I let out a long breath, this is the first time in days she has used this title and it feels incredible to hear it on her lips.

“Okay, kitten. What’s it going to be?”

* * *

Rae.

I think through Edmund’s words, trying to decide which it should be. What would make me feel like I got what I deserved? None of it? All of it? I’m not sure. I contemplate it for a long time.

“Nothing, Edmund. You’re right. Nothing is going to make me feel like I am absolved for taking someone else’s life.” I chew on my lower lip and just stare at him across the car, swallowing hard. My own admission breaking me inside.

“She tried to kill me. She would have killed you, Rae. You need to let it go.”

“And given time, maybe I will. But it’s been a fucking week.” I’m angry with myself and with him for being right.

“So, what do you want to do? Just go to the hotel?”

“No, I want to play. I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I need you to ground me, Master. I need things to go back to normal between us so we can be together again.”

“We are together, Rae. We always will be.”

The rest of the ride to The Playhouse is a quiet one. When we get there, and I wait for Edmund to get his gear bag out of the car, I stare at my feet on the sidewalk.

“Let’s go.” He grabs me by the elbow and pulls me into the front lobby. After we make our way through there we end up in the coatroom, the same as our first night here and I get lost in the memory of kissing him here for the first time. “Strip.” Edmund’s command surprises me but I do as I’m told and strip down to my bra and thong. Glad I had the foresight to wear a cute matching set today.

“Good girl, no taking it easy on you tonight. Got it, kitten? It’s me and you. You wanted to play. So we’re going to play.”

“Yes, Master.” My stomach does a flip and my insides clench. My pussy is already soaked and I feel my entire body relax. This is it, this is our element. Edmund puts his hand on my lower back and leads me from the coatroom. When we reach the main body of the club I see it is a busy night and the majority of the equipment is taken.

“Come here, kitten.” He leads me to a seat on the far end of the room and he sets his bag down on it, when he unzips it he pulls out his ropes and sets them next to it. “Matching harnesses?” He asks and I smile, nodding at him happily.

The process of him tying the harness around my chest soothes my sore muscles, calms me, and brings me back to the place I want to be. I want to be his submissive. I want to give everything up to him and have him tell me what I need. I needed this, more than I realized. When he is finished with the chest harness he starts on the hip harness, wrapping the ropes around me, his fingers brush against my skin and I moan as he touches me.

When he is done he takes me to a large mirror on the wall and shows me how I look. I’m gorgeous, his rope work is incredible and the harnesses look seamlessly like one.

“Master?” I ask him when he turns and starts to head back to the spot he left our gear. Edmund stops and turns back to me.

“I want to say my affirmations, but I don’t have them.” A tear slips down my cheek and using his thumb he brushes it away for me.

“Come here, kitten.” Opening his arms for me I fall forward into him, pressed against his body as he hugs me tightly. “Hush, it’s okay,” he coos in my ear as I sob. “Turn to the mirror.”

I do as I’m told and turn to the mirror. I look over our reflections, Edmund standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders. I watch as he bends his head to my ear and whispers the first of the three affirmations to me.

I clear my throat and speak, loudly and clearly, into the room. I don’t care if anyone is listening, I don’t care what they will think. All of the embarrassment and shame I felt at saying them out loud is gone.

“I am unique and special in every way, which is why he has chosen me.” As I finish Edmund bends to my ear again and speaks the second to me. “I am an amazing gift and his most valuable possession.” The second one comes out even louder than the first, my confidence building. I see the smile on his face in the mirror as he tells me the third, I repeat it back to him. “I am valued not because I serve but because I am his.”

Edmund turns me in his arms and kisses me, I feel like I am flying and get lost in our long kiss. The room around us disappears and I could stay in this moment forever. Nothing else matters, not the past, not what happened with Carley, nothing. I have my mate and I am his, valued, and cared for. That is the only thing that matters to me now.

“Ready?” Edmund asks as he points to a St. Andrews cross. I nod, then clear my throat.

“Yes, Master.” I let him lead me to it.

Hands and feet strapped in cuffs, I lean forward against the X of the cross and relax my body against it. As he shows me the floggers I nod, or shake my head at each one, agreeing to the list of toys that he will use for our scene. This is a scene, not a punishment. He is right, there is nothing I need to be punished for.

“Ready, kitten?” I smile and take in a deep breath.

“Ready, Master.”

“What are your safewords, Rae?” Edmund asks me as he steps closer to me, his hand resting on my lower back then moving down over my exposed ass. He spanks me firmly and I giggle.

“Yellow or red. If I need someone other than you to assist me I call out safeword.” Edmund nods and steps behind me. I can no longer see him but I can feel his presence there. Can feel the magic that courses through my veins when he is near.

The first strike hits my ass and is followed by another, he flogs me softly, letting the soft falls of the flogger come down on me over and over again, building up the sensation over my skin. I feel my ass turning red, feel the heat spreading over me. When he stops, I exhale a long sigh, happy to be here, happy to have come back to this place with him where we spent our first night together.

The next strike across my back makes me flinch and I tighten my hands into fists, pulling against the cuffs, “Fuck,” I growl out the word. “Yes.”

“You all right, kitten?” Edmund whispers in my ear and I nod.

“Yes, Master. Please don’t stop.” I watch in my peripheral as he nods and then steps back behind me. “Wait! Yellow!” I call to him and he steps back into view. His hand resting on my lower back, lips brushing against my ear.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, kiss me,” I say, smiling at him and enjoying his lips on mine. “I need you to punish me. I do—”

“Rae—” he cuts me off.

“Not for that,” I cut him off in return and send him a soft smile, hoping he will forgive my misstep. “Not for that, Master. For this week. I was supposed to say my affirmations every day and if I had... If I had listened to you and trusted you and said them each day then I would have forgiven myself sooner. I would have realized sooner that there was nothing to forgive myself for and I’d have gotten to this point. The point I am at right now.” I’m trying to motion with my cuffed hands and they’re just waving around above my head.

“If I had listened to you and trusted you, Edmund, this wouldn’t have happened. I’d have been able to leave the bedroom, I’d have been able to leave the apartment. I should have trusted you to know what was best for me and I didn’t. That is what I need you to punish me for.”

“Okay.” He nods and steps back to his gear bag, pulling out a spiked paddle, my eyes widen, but I simply nod.

“Yes, Master. Mark me. Show me who I belong to. Make me yours.”

“It’s going to hurt, Rae.” He is honest with me then.

“I need it to.” I return his honesty.

“Count with me, kitten. Seven, for the seven days you failed to follow the instructions laid out by your Master. The seven days you failed to say your affirmations and fought with me every step of the way.”

“Yes, Master.” I nod. “Seven.”

The first one isn’t that bad, the spikes bite into my skin and I cry out. “One.”

The second and third are about the same, I count them clearly. By the fourth I am in tears, bawling. The pain is spreading through my body, my ass feels like it is on fire, and I can’t help but flinch each time he moves behind me in anticipation of the next three strikes.

“Five, Master,” I gasp out the words, my knees buckle and my body hangs loosely against the cross.

“Two more, kitten. Do you need to stop?” Edmund asks in my ear and I shake my head.

“No. I need them. Thank you, Master. Please, please, don’t stop.”

“Okay." He rubs his hand over my burning skin, the fire spreads through me to my core and I feel something awaken inside me at having his hands on me. I know when we are done with this part we will be back to playing, but right now I need to focus, focus on the pain and the reason I am here.

I pull the memories back to my mind, yelling at him as I lay crying on the bathroom floor all of these mornings. This morning I told him to fucking get it over with. Thankfully, for both of us, he is.

“Six!” I scream out the number when the paddle comes down on my left cheek. One more, just one more. I can handle it.

“Seven! Thank you, Master.” The final blow is the hardest, landing right back where we started, just like us.

* * *

Dublin, Ireland – Wednesday.

Rae.

We sit on the sofa, in our new apartment, after dinner. Both of us holding glasses of wine and looking out the large window at the lights below us in the city.

“It’s a beautiful view,” I tell Edmund as I snuggle my cheek into his shoulder and take a deep breath, relishing the warm scent of him.

“It is,” he agrees, leaning forward he sets his glass down on the coffee table, then takes mine and places it next to his.

“Rae?”

“Hmm?” I ask, sleepy from the alcohol and ready to curl in his arms and go to bed.

“Are you happy?”

“Of course I’m happy.” His question catches me off guard, I turn and look into the eyes of my mate, the man I love and am prepared to spend the rest of eternity with. “Are you?” I let the concern I feel fill my voice.

“Yes.”

“Then what’s going on, Edmund?” I shift into his lap, straddling him and resting my arms on his shoulders.

“I just want to make sure you’re happy before I asked you something?”

“So this question was the question, before the actual question?” I make a face at him and he smiles.

“Yes.”

“So what’s the actual question?” Butterflies twirl in my stomach and I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I don’t know what he is going to say, I don’t know what it is going to mean for us. But I need to hear it, I need to have him get on with it before the anticipation kills me. I raise my eyebrows at him, eyes wide as he looks into my face.

“Will you marry me, Rae?”

“That’s a stupid question,” I reply and watch his face fall. “You know the answer to that, Edmund.”

“Do I?” The tone of his voice makes me doubt my words and I worry that I was too harsh.

“You should. Of course, I will marry you. Do I need to say it? Yes. Yes, I will marry you Edmund, sir, Master. You’re my everything. My mate, my one true love. I will marry you a million times if that’s what it takes. Yes. I will marry you.”

He leans in and kisses me, firmly on the lips then stands, unwrapping my legs around his waist and dropping me down onto the couch.

“Strip,” he says and I immediately obey his command. Lifting my shirt off over my head, I toss it across the room and it lands amongst our unpacked boxes. He kicks out of his shoes and pulls his pants down. When I see him free of them I lick my lips, wanting to taste him. Instead of taking what I want I slide off the edge of the couch and sit kneeling next to it. Presenting myself to him, waiting for permission.

“Kitten,” he says, and slips his hand under my chin, tilting my head back, then runs his thumb along my lower lip. “Suck my dick.”

I nod, smiling at him, biting my lower lip as my excitement at being granted permission for what I wanted flows through me.

“Mmm.” I watch Edmund tip his head back as I slip the tip of his cock into my mouth, closing my lips around him and sucking him hard. Not having been given permission to use my hands, I let them rest on my thighs, palms up, fingers twitching as the itch to reach up and cup his balls drives me mad.

I pull my mouth back from him and the full length of his cock is coated in my spit. When I lick the underside of him from base to tip I hear him moan and I smile at knowing I am pleasing him.

His hands tangle in my hair then and he uses my mouth for his pleasure. I love it, love every second of my Master using my body, showing me whom I belong to. When I look down at the ground as he steps back from me I see my lower lips glistening with my need and I squirm. Trying to get a little release from the built up tension I feel.

“Stand up,” he tells me as he reaches a hand out for me and I place mine into it. He helps me to my feet then shifts me over the edge of the couch. I kneel on it, bent over the back of the couch and my ass exposed to him. I feel him trail his hand down over my bruised cheeks, he is gentle with me as I heal and I smile over my shoulder at him.

“Fuck me, Master.”

“When I’m ready, slut, don’t rush me.” He growls and kneels behind me. When he closes his mouth over my pussy, I cry out. Teeth graze my clit and I nearly come then and there. I hear him chuckle and I know he is doing it on purpose, driving me mad with need.

As his fingers slip inside me I squirm back against him, wanting them deeper, wanting more. I gasp when he slips in a fourth, and spreads me wide, preparing me for him.

“Please,” I whine, my face buried in the back of the couch.

“Please what, kitten?”

“I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me, Master, please.” I whine the words, knowing I am being needy and not caring.

I feel the couch dip behind me and I wiggle my ass at him.

“Just like a bitch in heat. Look at you, with your ass in the air begging me to fuck you.” He leans into my ear and I get chills across my body as his lips brush against my skin, I know what he is going to say before he says it and I feel my entire body tighten in anticipation of it. It is what I want, what I never knew I needed until this moment. “Ready to be bred?” The chills shoot through me to my core and I whine at him again.

“Please, Master.”

“Are you sure, Rae?”

I nod my consent.

“Say it, Rae.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Breed me, like a bitch in heat. Just like you said. Fuck me, fill me with your come, Master. Mark me as yours, only yours.” Leaning forward again he kisses my neck and I feel the head of his unsheathed cock as he runs it up and down my slit.

When he slips into me I arch my back and moan, pushing myself down onto him, filling myself completely with his massive cock.

“God, you feel incredible wrapped around my dick. I love how tight and wet your pussy is, kitten.”

When he leans forward again, his hand in the center of my shoulder blades pushes me down and I’m pinned to the back of the couch. He holds me there, fucking me then, hard and fast. The sting of my still sensitive ass smacking against his body, when he is buried completely inside me, brings me close to orgasm, and I cry out.

“No,” Edmund growls in my ear, “who owns your orgasms?”

“You do, Master.”

“That’s right, you don’t come without permission. You’re going to come when I do. All over my fat cock, while I fill you with my come, and show you who owns you.”

My eyes widen at his words, they ignite something deep inside me and I push my ass out to him, needing that time to be now.

Edmund continues to piston in and out of me, I’m so close to the edge I dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from coming.

“Master!” I cry out and thankfully he stops, pulling back from me. I’m left empty and pouting.

“Turn over,” he commands me, flipping me as he does and positioning me on the couch. “Hold your legs.” I nod and grab my legs, pulling my knees back to my ears.

One hand reaches out and wraps around my neck, pinning me to the couch, the other smacks my pussy and I cry out. When he sends me a sly smile I know he isn’t going to let me come yet and I whine again.

Dropping his head to my breast he bites me, I feel his fangs puncture my skin and I smile. I know what he is doing, we have been here before. Marking me, showing me who owns me, only when I’m covered in his bites and bruises, and I know exactly who I belong to, will he fill me with his come and prove to me that I’m the one. Mated to him.

Edmund takes his time, biting each breast, my thighs, my still tender ass, once I’m covered in his bites he looks down at me, hand still wrapped around my throat.

“Who do you belong to, Rae?”

“You, Edmund. I’m yours, wholly and completely yours. Heart, body, and soul.”

“Good girl.” He punctuates his words by ramming forward into me and I cry out.

Giving me the hard fuck I wanted, I can feel him at the entrance of my womb, his pelvis meeting mine with each thrust. His hand still wrapped around my throat, pinning me to the couch under him has my head spinning. I see stars and know I’m about to lose control. I won’t be able to hold back my climax. I feel him swell and twitch inside me and know he isn’t either.

“Come all over my cock like the dirty slut you are, Rae.” I nod and let go of the thin control I had left as I come, coating him with it, I feel it coat my thighs and the couch beneath me, squirting all over myself.

“Fuck!” Edmund roars, tossing his head back and I can feel the hot streams of his come filling me. I smile up at him when he drops his hand from my throat and brushes my hair from my face. “You okay, kitten?” he asks as he collapses onto me, still buried deep inside me, still twitching with the aftershocks of his own orgasm.

I nod at him. “Yes. I’m okay. I love you, Edmund.”

“It’s official,” he tells me, nuzzling my neck. “You’re my mate, for eternity.” I nod at him again, my smile spreading over my face.

“For eternity,” I agree.

The End.

Emmy Lou Hayes is a married mother of three. Originally from Ohio, she has lived the majority of her life in Maryland. While attending college she worked at a local sandwich shop, where she met her husband. When not working or at home in Southern Maryland, they enjoy spending time traveling the country in their RV with their children and two dogs. Emmy Lou works full time in the medical field, but her passion is writing and sharing that writing with others. With an affinity for erotica and BDSM, Emmy Lou hopes to keep her readers coming back for more again and again.