THIS TIME IT’S NOT THE FLU
THIS TIME IT’S NOT THE FLU
Romeo
Marlene was really sick.
It was becoming a very glaring situation knowing fully well that I used to think that she had such a good immune system, but as it turned out lately… it was quite the opposite.
It was probably just the flu again, but I did not understand why she was just so sick.
I stood at the edge of our shared bedroom, arms crossed, watching as she groaned dramatically and buried her face deeper into the mountain of blankets.
Christopher sat on the other side of the bed, he had this worried look on his face, and if it was not such a serious situation, I would just laugh from how comical than his face was.
“It’s the flu,” he said confidently, glancing at me. “Same thing as last time. Runny nose, grumpiness, appetite swings…”
“She threw a spoon at me this morning,” I reminded him.
“She missed,” he countered.
“She aimed.”
Marlene let out a pitiful moan. “You two are talking about me like I’m not right here.”
“We’d never,” I said, inching closer. “But babe, you’ve had the flu like three times this season. I think the virus is scared of you at this point.”
She cracked one eye open. “I’m feel like I am dying.”
“You said that yesterday.”
“Well maybe I’m still dying!”
Before I could argue more, there was a knock at the door and Olga stepped in with her usual no-nonsense look and a wooden box full of herbs and weird healer stuff.
“You called for me?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Christopher said. “She’s sick again.”
Olga walked over to Marlene, checked her pulse, examined her eyes, and then frowned lights. “Hmm.”
“What? Is she turning into a toad?” I asked.
Marlene glared up at me like I was just so fucking stupid. I raised my hands in mock submission “it was not funny, I understand, sorry”
“No,” Olga said, straight-faced. “She’s pregnant.”
Silence.
Like if a tiny feather dropped on the floor, then I am certain that it would sound like an actual gong at this point.
Christopher blinked. I blinked. Marlene sat up so fast you’d think we told her the Moon Goddess herself had arrived at our doorstep with a million stars…. That would have been impossible, but still that was the only comparison I could think of right now.
I was that shocked.
I was going to be a fucking father, we were going to parents.
Kevin was going to be an aunty.
“I’m what?” she squeaked.
“Pregnant,” Olga repeated. “This time it is definitely not the flu.”
Christopher and I stared at each other, mouths open like two dumb wolves caught in headlights.
“I—I thought the last time you said…” I muttered, I was just lost for words.
“That is why I said this time Romeo, keep up a little” Olga said.
“You’re pregnant?” Christopher echoed.
“Apparently!” Marlene yelped, her expression shifting between horror and joy and panic.
Then, tears welled up in her eyes. “I’m going to be a mom? But I’m like foul mouthed and hot tempered! I’m not- There is no fucking way qualified!”
Christopher rushed to her side, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “You’re going to be amazing. And this baby’s going to have two awesome dads who are totally not panicking right now.”
“I’m not panicking,” I said as I paced across the room. “I’m just really, well, surprised?
Olga rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine. All three of you.”
IAs she left, Christopher pulled me into the hug with Marlene, and we just stood there, a chaotic, teary, stunned pile of people who somehow found each other in this crazy world.
We had talked about this topic so much, and we had so many ideas as to the kind of parents that we would be, but it seemed like now that this was actually a reality, we were suddenly unprepared.
“Do we even know how to raise a kid?” I whispered.
Marlene sniffled. “Nope.”
I quickly stepped forward “but that is not a problem though”
Christopher grinned. “Yeah, definitely, we’ll figure it out together.”
And in that moment, tangled in warmth, love, and sheer panic, I knew one thing for sure.
This child was going to have the weirdest, most loving family ever.
I could not wait just thinking about it.