YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE

YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE
Ayla

“Freddy?”

Where could that little trouble maker be?

I’d been looking for Freddy for nearly half an hour, calling his name every now and then but getting no response.

It was almost evening and I was worried that he’d stay put for too long.

Normally, Freddy was a very quiet child and most of the time you’d think he was missing but then he was just sleeping, but he had not requested his usual snack.

Now that was the fucking weird part, because Freddy never missed food. I mean that little thing could consume food like a tank.

My heart was beginning to beat a little faster with every passing minute.

I was getting scared.

“Relax babe, he will probably be back soon” Darius said and I rolled my eyes, that one was just to chill about everything and me, especially in my pregnant state, I had literally zero chill.

I heard something, my ears perked up and somehow, I had this feeling to just follow the sound.

Quietly, I crept forward, careful not to startle him.

And then I saw him.

Freddy stood in a clearing, arms raised slightly as thin threads of blue energy danced between his fingertips. His face was scrunched in concentration, and the magic seemed to respond to his every breath—swirling, shifting, and glowing.

My breath caught in my throat. He looked… powerful. More than that—he looked free.

There was this smile on his face that I had never seen before, now I had seen Freddy smile before but this, he looked like he was doing something that he really loved.

It made me to feel things, in a good way of course.

I always wanted him to be happy.

But the second he noticed me, everything stopped.

The glow vanished instantly. Freddy’s eyes widened in panic and he stumbled backward, nearly tripping over his own feet. His entire body tensed like he was ready to bolt.

“Mummy—I didn’t mean to! I swear, I was just practicing,” he rushed out. “I know I’m not supposed to do it magic, but I didn’t want to bother anyone and—”

“Freddy,” I said softly, stepping closer. He flinched and backed up again.

“I just… I didn’t want you to see it and think I’m weird. Or broken.” His voice cracked on the last word.

I paused, my heart aching at the fear in his eyes.

“You’re not weird or broken,” I whispered, kneeling in the grass. “You’re absolutely brilliant, baby.”

His bottom lip trembled. “But what if I hurt someone one day? What if I can’t control it? What if you stop loving me?”

His eyes were scared, he should never have to feel that way… no matter what, Freddy was not a werewolf, he was meant to practice magic just like his real mum and I would never make him feel like he had to hide that part of himself.

No one would take that away from him, not on my watch.

And that’s when I couldn’t hold back anymore. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into the safest hug I could offer.

“I could never stop loving you,” I said fiercely, holding him close. “Not in a thousand lifetimes.”

He hesitated before hugging me back, his tiny hands gripping my sleeves like he was afraid I’d let go.

“I still remember what happened when I could not control my powers mum, I almost hurt you. “You have every right if you don’t trust me” he said.

I rolled my eyes “that was forever ago Freddy… And besides Celestine though you everything you have to know didn’t she?” I asked.

He nodded “yeah”

“Then that is all I need to know”

“But-”

I pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes. “Freddy, listen to me. Those people didn’t understand you. But I do. You are my son. You can have magic, claws, fangs, glowing eyes—I don’t care. You are mine, my first kid … And nothing you do or want to do will ever change that.”

A single tear rolled down his cheek and I wiped it gently with my thumb.

“You’re not going to ever replace me… right?” he asked, more quietly this time.

Oh.

He still felt that way?

I was really worried about what I could possibly say that would stop making him feel like that.

I pressed my hand against his heart. “You know what makes you really special?” I asked.

He shook his head “no”

I smiled at him “it is the fact that we chose each other, you could have said you didn’t want me to be your mum and-”

He hugged me “I want you to be my mummy forever”

“Exactly. And no matter how many babies I carry, you will always be my first child. No one could take your place, Freddy. Ever.”

He blinked at me, and slowly, the tension left his shoulders.

“I just… I want to be strong like you and Dad,” he admitted. “I want to protect people too” he said “even though that I will never be a wolf, I want to use my magic to do good things” he said.

My darling boy, he had the kindest heart in the entire world and I wanted to protect this kind heart of his forever.

“You will,” I said, ruffling his hair. “And you’ll do it your own way.”

He smiled a little, he was so shy…. Nothing at all like the little rascal that always made a lot of ruckus.

“Next time, tell me when you want to practice,” I added, standing and holding out my hand. “I want to see more of that light show.”

Freddy grinned and took my hand.

“Deal.”

As we walked back to the house, I could not help the smile that was on my face. Freddy confided in me today and he shared a part of himself and I know that took so much from him.

He was a light to the world, and I would never let his light go dim.

Never