Chapter 20 Two men, whom do I like?

Chapter 20 Two men, whom do I like?
Lydia's Point of View 

The world seemed to shrink to just Harridan and me, the garden around us blurring into nothingness. My chest heaved, my lips tingling from the fiery kiss we’d just shared. I could feel his saliva in my mouth…..it tasted strange. The kiss was slow and soft, and I was reminded of the rough kiss I shared with someone else…..

“Lydia, he's engaged!” Venus's words echoed in my head, and I stumbled backward.

“I shouldn't have-” 

I wanted to apologize, to tell him I hadn’t meant to… to push him away, to make sense of what just happened, but the words caught in my throat.

Harridan pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against mine. His amber eyes, dark and stormy, held a mix of desire and something softer… regret, maybe. “Lydia…” he murmured in a whisper, almost reverent. “Don’t apologize. This… It’s my fault.”

I blinked at him, astonished. “Your fault?” I whispered. My fingers twitched, hovering near his chest, craving contact yet terrified of crossing some invisible line. “Harridan… I'm the woman, I shouldn’t have-”

“No,” he cut me off gently, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve been… a fool.” His hand slid to cup my cheek, warm and firm, grounding me even as my heart threatened to leap from my chest. “I shouldn’t have… acted like this. I should have… stopped myself.”

I swallowed hard, my mind racing. There it was, the truth he wasn’t saying, the half-admission that something was wrong. In the meantime, I decided to put aside my revenge plan and work on gaining the boys' trust.

My lips parted. “Harridan… you’re engaged, aren’t you?”

His eyes flickered briefly, clouded with a tension I didn’t know how to name. He opened his mouth but closed it again, jaw tightening. “I… I can’t tell you everything,” he said finally, his voice strained. “Not yet. Not now. You have to understand, I'm doing this for…...” he paused. “Sorry, I can't tell you.”

A pang of hurt twisted in my chest, sharp and confusing. “But… you’re… you’re supposed to be honest with me. You said I'm your best friend.”

“I know,” he whispered, his thumb brushing along my jawline, “and I wish I could be the friend you need. But some things… some things are complicated.”

I opened my mouth to ask more, to demand answers, but the sound of my phone breaking the silence stopped me mid-word. The screen lit up: ‘Yellow eyes dude’ Incoming Call.

My heart slammed painfully against my ribs. And I was consumed by my feelings for Justin. One week. It had been one long, excruciating week since I had last heard from him. My hands shook as I stared at the name. Part of me wanted to ignore it, Harridan was here, standing so close, and I didn’t want to hurt him.... but the other part… the part that had grown accustomed to Justin’s presence, to his quiet protectiveness, to the way he somehow made me feel safe… the other part needed to answer. To know if he was mad at me.

Harridan’s eyes narrowed the instant he saw my phone screen. His jaw clenched, and a sharp, almost imperceptible growl rumbled from his chest. With the little time I'd known him, I had never seen him like this, possessive, territorial, and… jealous. My stomach fluttered, even as the tension between us grew taut.

“Who is it?” he asked quietly, his brain trying to guess the person by the nickname.

“Justin…” I whispered, at first it was out of guilt, later I told myself that Harridan was engaged, so I owed him nothing. “He called. After a week…he probably misses me,” I teased.

Harridan’s hand shot out, gently but firmly grabbing mine before I could swipe to answer. “Don’t,” he said, his voice trembling slightly, though his eyes burned into mine. “Not now. Not while I’m here. Let me… finish this conversation first. Justin is not important.”

I shook my head, reluctant to obey him. “Harridan… I need to talk to him. He… he’s been gone for a week. I-”

He stepped closer, closing the space between us until I could feel the heat radiating from his body, until his hand cupped my face and his thumb traced the line of my jaw. “You don’t need to do anything right now,” he murmured. “You’re here with me. That’s what matters. Don’t let him… interfere. He's nothing.”

The words ignited something inside me, a mix of guilt and desire. Harridan’s possessiveness, his raw emotion, was intoxicating, almost dizzying. I wanted to pull away, to breathe, to think clearly… but every part of me wanted to stay, to melt into him, to let the world dissolve around the two of us.

“I… I don’t understand,” I admitted softly. “Why… Why do I feel like I’m betraying girls' code by standing here?”

Harridan leaned in, forehead resting against mine again. “Because you are,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “But it’s not your fault. It’s mine. I shouldn’t have… made you feel this way. But I did. And now… now I need you to know… I want you. Only you. Always you.”

My breath caught, and the ache in my chest deepened. I wanted to ask him about Amber, about his engagement, about everything I didn’t know… but he silenced me with a look that was both tender and commanding. A look that said: some truths could wait. Some things couldn’t be fixed tonight.

And for a moment, the world narrowed to Harridan’s amber eyes, the heat of his hand on mine, and the taste of his saliva.

I didn’t answer the phone. I didn’t move. I simply let myself stand there, heart pounding, lost in the storm of emotions swirling between us. Then again, we kissed, but it was empty, and my heart was with Justin. I tried to focus, but no matter how hard I tried, I kept longing for Justin, making our kiss awkward.

I pulled back slightly, trying to steady my racing heart, but Harridan didn’t let go. His thumb lingered against my cheek, his gaze scorching mine, and I could feel the unspoken demand in his touch: stay, focus, don’t even think of leaving.

My phone rang again, disrupting our tension.

“Give me a minute,” I said, my fingers twitching toward my phone again, desperate to hear what Justin had to say.

Harridan’s amber eyes darkened, almost predatory. “No. We have talked about this. Not now.” His hand tightened just enough to remind me that he wasn’t joking. “I won’t let him take this from me… from you.”

I swallowed, my chest tightening at the possessiveness in his words. I hated being told what to do, so his words should have scared me, but instead, they made my pulse pound faster. I hated how my body reacted, hated that my mind was divided, but I couldn’t stop it.

I haven't known them for so long, but my body was acting like I was with my soul mate.

“Look, I understand that you're possessive and all. But just let me pick the fucking call!” I growled, surprising even Harridan.

“That's so bold of you to say after you were the one who initiated the second kiss,” Harridan replied with a grimace.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to -”

“You didn’t mean to what?” Harridan interrupted, his voice filled with anger. “To kiss me? To feel this way about me?” He shook his head sharply. “It doesn’t matter what you meant. What matters is that we are together right now.”

“Are you getting married? If yes, can I ask why you're cheating on your wife? Am I just a rebound lady? Or do you actually like me?” I asked with a ghostly smile.

“Do you? Do you still like me?” Harridan asked, ignoring my question.

I froze because I had never really thought of that, and at the same time, a message entered my phone.

Justin: “Hey, I got your home address from the hospital. I'm in front of your house!”