Chapter 51

West

“What the hell is taking so long?”

I stormed into my room, seeing Eli hesitate as he handed Bram’s book to Everleigh. She was sitting up in bed, her eyes still swollen from all the crying. I only paused for a moment before I surged forward. I half expected her to cower at my nearing presence, but she didn’t. She grabbed the book, drawing it closer to her chest. She stayed silent as I stepped past Eli and ripped it from her hands.

“This is mine, now. It’s part of your punishment for your outburst at the funeral. When I feel you’ve learned your lesson, maybe I’ll give it back.”

She stayed quiet, moving her stare to her now clasped hands that rested in her lap.

“What, no argument?”

“No, Master.”

Eli retreated, heading to stand at the threshold of the door I’d come through. I didn’t pay him much attention as I turned back to Everleigh. Back and forth my mind went. The man I was, battled the man who had schemed to get as far as he’d come. I wanted my slave’s love, but the true me wanted to hurt her for knowing she’d never give it. There was no going back now. What I had done couldn’t be erased. And she wouldn’t forget.

I tossed the book down on top of the end table, sitting next to her. She didn’t try to move away from me, when again, I assumed she would.

“I won’t apologize for what I did. Your allegation, your behavior … I was trying so hard to be a good husband to you and you ruined it. Rape? Did I not take my time to make you feel good? Did you not enjoy it? If I recall, you were begging me for more. We both know you were.”

Shaking rocked her shoulders and she sniffled, lifting her head high as she looked at me. Still, she stayed silent. And still, the tears came.

“You think I’m making excuses. That I raped you because I used the oil. Put that aside for a moment. I already told you why I did it. Ask yourself this. Did you enjoy it? Are you casting your anger towards me because you feel as though you’ve betrayed the man you love?” I paused as her brow creased through her thoughts. “Bram is dead. If he were alive and this had happened, maybe your anger would be warranted. But you don’t have to feel guilty for feeling something for me. Let him go. Stop putting up these walls toward me and see the opportunity you have before you. It all rides on you. All I asked was that you were a good slave. Are you incapable? Is it so hard to put aside your pride, or these feelings you think are love, and give me a fucking chance? Everleigh, I’m trying with you.

Why can’t you attempt to try for me?”

Eli shifted, breaking my focus. Annoyance sank in, but I brought my attention back to my slave—my wife, within the hour.

“Fine, don’t talk. How’s this going to play out? Are you going to fight me when the judge and lawyer get here? Should I be expecting you to make a scene?”

Her head shook. “No, Master.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Master.”

I grew quiet as thoughts took me. Mindlessly, I looked around, reaching and grabbing the damn book she kept holding like a lifeline. I opened it, seeing Bram’s name scribbled on the first page. I turned more pages, coming to the first poem. I cleared my throat, glancing over at my slave before beginning to read aloud.

The Devil and his keeper Walls cannot buffer this hell we call home. Embedded amongst all that pulsates of perversion, Is a place made of stone.

He and I sing the true melody of love. Can you hear the beautiful tune as we whisper from above? I hum it so sweetly, a harmonic little tune You grasp to it, desperately, like you long for the moon. He hears my song, he whispers to death the alluring lyrics while I take my last breath.

You sway amid the words, drawing us closer We fight for your love,

I want her, I chose her.

I’ll save you, he sings.

Enslave you, I whisper.

And around we go.

Bleeding anew Battling for love, killing for you ...

I slammed the book closed, flipping it around in a complete circle so I could look for the title or author. Nothing. I glanced over to Everleigh’s engrossed, yet shocked expression.

Again, I opened the book. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to continue. Although I read the words, all I could hear was Bram’s voice in my head … and see how it related to us. I didn’t want to hear more, but there he was, worming his way into my life once again. And me, I kept taking it. Unseen Amongst a throne, behind stone walls, the emptiness will not evade me. But there is one,

One girl, one sun.

If only she could save me.

Broken bones bend to the beat of my heart, falling.

Love is death.

Bump-bump.

Can you hear the drums calling? The louder it projects, the luring you in.

Close your eyes and see me, I say, tugging and shredding at your heart as I grin.

I am the shadow over your shoulder.

Look up.

There I am.

Do you feel yourself grow colder? Let the devil love you, the shadow projects delusions.

Imagine what that sort of love is capable of.

I’m the macabre

Master of illusions.

“What the hell is this shit?” I turned to the very first page, flipping through them. Did Bram write this? No … he couldn’t have. Bram couldn’t write.

“I think it’s beautiful.”

I pursed my lips, glancing at Everleigh.

“It’s depressing and morbid. Why would you ever want to read this?”

“I like it,” she said, quietly.

“You and Bram, both appeal.”

I placed the book down, still not able to shake the way my skin was tightening in goosebumps. It was too close. Too similar to his mindset. To her.

“Thank you for reading to me. You didn’t have to, but you did.”

Her attitude has me looking over confused. “How are you feeling?”

Her gaze jerked down and all softness from her face disappeared into nothingness. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you are. I …” My hand settled next to her as I turned more in her direction. “I think I hurt you badly. Not just your body, but here,” I said, placing my finger against her temple. “And here,” I said, moving my touch over her heart. “You either hate me, or you’re going to. I never wanted that. I never wanted it to be this way. Yet, I did. I want both. I can’t help the way I am.”

“It’s my fault. You’re right. The way I acted was … inexcusable.

Forgive me.”

“Spoken like a true slave. I bet in your mind, you’re wishing you had that envelope opener, again.”

Her head quickly shook. “I should be dead right now. What you did … That was letting me off lightly. I’m grateful to be alive—for your mercy.”

The speck of guilt eased and she was right. I could have had her killed for attacking me. Maybe in her mind, she truly believed what I had done was just. After all, she’d been a slave long enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

“Master, may I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Everleigh shifted, wincing as she managed to inch a little closer. “I’m sorry if my question upsets you, but I have to ask. You plan to marry me tonight. Me, a disobedient, horrible slave. You’ve been trying to have me since my old master was killed. You’re very handsome. You could probably have any woman in this outside world, or any slave at Whitlock bowing to worship you. Why, me?”

“Wife …” The question stirred my true self just as much as the man I pretended to be. “You have no idea how the outside world works. Sure, there are women I could have, but they would never satisfy me. Even if they could, they’re not you. You’re beautiful. Unlike any women I’ve ever seen. As for your disobedience, you will learn.” “Will you rape me like you did, again?”

The fear in her blue depths called to me. I licked my lips, not being able to help lean in to brush my lips over hers. “I can only hope. If you’re a good slave, then you’ll have nothing to fear.”