Chapter 64 She let me kiss her

Chapter 64 She let me kiss her
Jeremy's POV

I tried to stop myself from coming. But I was unsuccessful.

Because the moment I heard Mia mention Benjamin's name something changed in me.

Her being around Benjamin is bad. Really bad. I don't know which outweighs the other. But in between my jealous heart and my protective spirit that is so scared of Benjamin manipulating and hurting her the way he did to me in the past. I don't know which of the two pushed me here. But I'm here.

She opened the door.

Robe. Hair loose. Eyes sharp the moment she saw me. Like she had been awake too.

"What are you doing here." She asked, a bit of anger in her tone.

"Can I come in."

"It's late Alpha."

"I know what time it is Margaret. And can you please just drop the whole Alpha thing."

She looked at me for a long moment. Then she stepped back. Let me in.

The room was small. Warm. A single lamp still burning by the bed. Her diary on the nightstand. I looked around once then looked at her.

She crossed her arms. Stood by the window. Kept distance between us.

"Talk." She said.

"You've been seen with Benjamin." I said it straight. No buildup.

She didn't flinch. Not even a little.

"And?" She said.

"And Benjamin is not someone you casually spend time with Margaret."

"Why can't I be seen with him." She tilted her head. Voice calm. Even. "Is there a rule? A law? A list of people Lady Margaret is not allowed to speak to?"

"You don't know who he is."

"I know who a lot of people are." She said. "It's true I'm new here Jeremy but I talk to people. I learn the pack. Or is there a pack rule that says it's a taboo to have casual conversations with people?"

"Multiple times." I said. "Back to back. In the dark. In the back streets." I watched her face. "That is not casual conversation."

Something moved behind her eyes. Fast. Gone.

"You're having me watched." She said.

"I'm trying to keep you safe."

She laughed. Short. One sound. "Keep me safe." She repeated it quietly like she was tasting how strange it was. "That is interesting coming from you."

"Margaret—"

"What do you want Jeremy." She dropped her arms. Looked at me straight. "It's late. Just say what you came to say."

I looked at her.

Standing there in the lamplight with her hair loose and her eyes burning and her arms crossed like armour.

I had told myself coming here it was about Benjamin. About the information. About pack safety.

But standing here now looking at her I knew that was not entirely true.

"I like you." I said.

The room went very quiet.

She stared at me.

"I know how that sounds." I said. "I know the situation. Mia. The baby. All of it. I know." I ran a hand over my face. "But I can't stand here and pretend I don't."

"Jeremy—"

"Let me finish." I said. "Please."

She closed her mouth. Watched me.
I moved to the chair by the small table. Sat down. Leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.

"I have a curse." I said.

She said nothing.

"Since birth. I cannot..." I stopped. Started again. "No woman has ever been able to make me feel anything. Nothing. For twenty nine years. Nothing." I looked at my hands. "My mother took me to every healer. Every elder. Every fortune teller in three packs. They all said the same thing. Only one woman. My fated mate. Only she could break it."

Margaret was very still by the window.

"Months ago." I said. "A girl came to Lakewood."

Something shifted in her face.
I kept going.

"Young. Small. Blonde. She came to kill me." I smiled without humour. "She missed. Hit my sister instead. Her name was Zoe." I looked up. "We caught her. Tortured her for information. And when my skin touched hers for the first time." I stopped. "For the first time in twenty nine years. Something happened."

The lamp flickered between us.

"She was my mate." I said quietly. "I knew it the moment it happened. My body knew it." I sat back. "But I told myself it was coincidence. I rejected her. I made her life..." I shook my head. "I made her life very difficult. Because I was scared. And stupid. And too proud to admit what she was to me."

"What happened to her." Margaret's voice came out careful. Quiet.

I looked at the floor.

"She was caught." I said. "While poisoning me. She was still properly mad at me and would have killed me anyway." My jaw tightened. "According to pack law. Anyone who murders or makes an attempt must be killed in the forsaken forest. So my hands were tied. I had to do it." I looked up. "With her own gun."
I had to stay quiet for a moment, or else I'd loose my mind.

"And then she was thrown in the river." I finished.

Margaret's face was unreadable. Completely locked down.

"She's dead." I said. "Because of me. Because I was too proud and too broken and too convinced that I was right." I stood up. "And I have not slept properly since."

The room was so quiet I could hear the lamp burning.

"Why are you telling me this." Margaret said. Her voice was strange. Low.

"Because when I touched you." I said. "That first time. When you brushed past me in the corridor your first week here." I looked at her. "I felt it again."

Her breath shifted. Just slightly.

"Jeremy—"

"I know." I said. "I know what you're going to say. And you're right. All of it. Mia is pregnant. You are a guest here. Benjamin. All of it." I crossed the room. Slowly. "But I cannot keep pretending I don't see you."

I was close now.

She didn't move back.

"So what." She said. Her chin lifted. Eyes hard. "You like me. Then what. What if I break a rule too?"

"That's not—"

"No let me finish." She pointed at me. "You said this girl. This Zoe. She was your mate. She came. You felt it. And then the moment something went wrong what did you do?" Her voice was fire now. Controlled but burning. "You shot her Jeremy. You shot her and threw her away like she meant nothing." Her eyes didn't leave mine. "So what happens when I do something you don't like. What happens when someone comes to you with a story about me and you believe it without asking me first." She stepped closer. "Should I expect the same? A bullet? A river?"

"No." I said hard. "That is not—"

"How am I supposed to believe that." She said. "How."

"Because I know what I lost." My voice cracked on the last word. Just slightly. "Because I watched them light that fire under her feet and something in me already knew. Before her wolf woke up. Before the mate bond hit us both. I already knew I had made the worst mistake of my life." I looked at her. "And I have to live with that. Every single day."

Her eyes were bright now. Something moving in them she was fighting hard to keep down.

"That doesn't fix it." She said quietly.

"I know it doesn't."

"She's dead Jeremy."

"I know."

"And you standing here telling me you like me doesn't bring her back."

"I know that too." I said. "I'm not trying to replace her. I'm not trying to fix what I did." I looked at her. "I'm just standing here. Being honest. For maybe the first time in a very long time."

She looked at me for a long moment.

The lamp flickered again.

Then I closed the last bit of distance between us.

She didn't move back.

My lips found hers within seconds.

I didn't plan to kiss her. But I was doing it. My hand coming up to the side of her face.

And she didn't push me away. She kissed me back.