Regret, confession

Regret, confession
Rhys’ POV

I gripped the sink so tight until my knuckles turn white.

I didn’t know how to feel, but one thing I was certain of was that I didn’t deserve Thalia. She had been nothing but good to me.

But me? I had done nothing but hurt her.

Thinking about when I had supported Savena while ignoring her made my heart ache. How could I have done something like that to her?

I ran my hand through my hair, leaning on the sink to splash water on my face.

“Should I just tell her?” I asked myself aloud, I didn’t think I had the confidence to talk to her.

I discarded my clothes as I went under the shower. I stood under the showers for more than thirty minutes, lost in thought.

Eventually, I came out, went to the closet, and saw just plain pants and shirts arranged neatly in the wardrobe, so I put the pants on, hoping they all fit. And they did.

Walking into the room, my gaze landed on Thalia, who placed her hand on her face as though she was asleep. Staring at the table, I realized the whole bottle of alcohol was empty.

My eyes widened instantly. “Shit!” I cursed as I walked to where she was.

I squatted in front of her. “Thalia,” I called gently while tapping her thigh.

She groaned in a soft voice, “Let me sleep,” she murmured as she turned, almost falling from the chair but I caught her. Wrapping my hands around her. I tried to pull her up.

Suddenly, her eyes shot open, making my hand halt mid way. She stared at me, then she frowned. “You…” she said, squinting her eyes.

“You’re very bad, you hurt me,” she whispered while poking my chest with her finger.

I breathed. “You have to sleep Thalia. You are drunk,” I uttered, as I tried to carry her up again but she slapped my hand away.

Then she stood. “Don’t touch me,” she said, chocking in-between her words. A typical drunk attitude. “Don't you fucking touch me!” She snapped as she tried to walk with shaky legs to the bed.

I sat on the floor, staring at her until she got to the bed. She jumped on the bed with her slippers on.

Few moments later,

I finally decided to walk towards the bed. But then, my ear caught a sniff.

I took a peak at Thalia where she lay. She was asleep. But not quite or… she was crying in her sleep.

My brow furrowed “Why is she crying?” I questioned myself. I walked over to where she lay. My hands without thinking came to her face. I tried to wipe the tears off the corner of her eyes but the more I did, it seemed like the tears just kept flowing.

I had previously planned on sleeping on the couch, but I debated against it. I mean, what if she fell off the bed or woke up in the middle of the night scared?

So I climbed the bed and lay beside her, keeping a distance between us. I watched her face. She seemed to have stopped crying now.

I moved closer, trying to study her beautiful face. Indeed, Thalia was such a beauty, not the loud beautiful, but the calm one that's draw you in.

My eyes focused on her, I saw her brow furrowed. “ Is she frowning l?” One moment she cried, and now she's frowning.?

I raised my hand to remove some of the hair that was glued to her face and straightened the lines between her brows.

Suddenly, I saw her mouth move as though she uttered something, but I couldn’t hear. My body leaned into her so I could hear what she said.

“It’s Savena. Rhys doesn’t love you, dummy,” she said in a low voice, but I heard it loud and clear.

My body froze instantly, my gaze shifted to her face. She had, no, Wait… did she think I chose Savena over her?

My eyes widened when I placed the bits together. So she drank because of this thought?

My heart skipped. “What have you done, Rhys?” I whispered as I stared into space.

I felt so stupid. She had asked what the problem was, and I had snubbed her. Now my thought of not hurting her actually made her think I hated her.

My gaze shifted to her face once again. This time, she seemed to be in deep sleep. If only she knew how I almost went insane these past days because I couldn’t spend time with her.

My eyes softened as I placed my hand on her face. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, massaging her cheeks gently.

“I’m really sorry,” I whispered. I really felt like hitting myself for being such a fool. I mean, who hurt people while trying not to hurt them?

In that moment, I realized how far and how much I really wanted to love and cherish this person. I had made a covenant with myself not to ever make her feel like an option again. Ever.

I moved closer to her and wrapped my hands around her waist.

I stayed in that position till I dozed off.

…

The sunlight coming from the curtain was what woke me up. My eyes landed on her face. I smiled at her cute face. I wished she knew she was the only one who made me smile this hard, especially in the morning.

I removed my hand from her waist and her legs from my thigh. I walked to the telecom to make a quick call.

Apparently, we had not been given the opportunity to use phones, and we were only allowed to use the telecom.

I asked for hangover drugs. Ending the call, my gaze landed on Thalia, who was still fast asleep. I decided to take a shower before she woke up.

I walked into the shower. The bath was quick. After bathing, I went into the closet and put on clothes before coming back into the room.

Immediately I came out, my step halted.

Thalia.

She was standing in the middle of the room with a drug in hand.

She must have heard me coming out because she turned at that same moment. “Did you order this?” she asked with a stiff face.

My heart stung, I really had messed up because my Thalia would have given me a wide smile whenever she saw me.

I walked closer to her. “Yes, it’s for you,” I said with a low voice, my gaze on her.

“Thanks,” she whispered before walking out to the mini living room.

I stood watching her as she took the drug with water, then she moved again to the restroom without paying attention to me.

I didn’t know how to feel about this. My heart felt squeezed, my mood sour. I hated this treatment, and to make things worse, I had done the same to her.

The acts continued throughout the day. I tried to strike up a conversation, but she just gave short responses, and sometimes she focused on reading one of the books in the room, giving me little to no chance of talking to her.

After long hours, I knew this was the moment I needed to talk to her. We needed to have a proper conversation or else I might lose my fucking mind, so I walked to the bed where she was reading.

I sat at the edge. “Thalia,” I called her gently, but she didn’t shift her gaze away from the book. She just hummed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

She raised her head form the book, stared at me with a frown. “You’re sorry for?” she asked, closing the book and paying full attention to me.

“I’m sorry if I made you think everything was about Savena. I'm sorry for everything I have done. I’m sorry.”

“Rhys? Why are you telling me this?” she asked, her voice going lower.

I sighed as I moved closer to her. I pulled her hand into mine.

“I messed up Thalia, I have treated you like shit. I made you look like a liar, I just… i… thalia. Please, I want just want you to know that Savena was the past. And no, it's not because she fucked up and I'm using you as a cover-up. No I swear that's not it. Please.”

She didn't say anything, she just stared at me.

“Thalia, you're not a second option in my life. And I haven't had the courage to tell you this. I fucked up, I messed up. I'm full of shit.”

“I… You…” she stuttered while blinking repeatedly.

I moved closer to her, cutting her off. “I love you, Thalia,” the word slopped off my mouth in a whisper, while holding my gaze with her.