Chapter 66 Before I Cross the Door
POV Scarlett:
“I… I’m n-nervous.” I tell them as they wait for the doctor’s visit to discharge me.
“She’s going to love you, just like we do,” Ethan says, and a soft clearing of the nurse’s throat draws our attention, making my heartbeat slow down.
They love me?
“We’re done. The doctor will be here soon,” she says, giving us one last look before leaving.
I feel heat rise, burning from my lap up to my face. Two days ago, she walked into the room and caught me making out with Liam and Damian; ever since, she’s been looking at us in horror.
“My mother will be at our house. She really wants to meet you. She never came to the hospital because she wanted to give you privacy for your recovery, but if you’re not ready to meet her now, I—”
“I-It’s fine.” I cut Ethan off, and he smiles, nodding.
I stammer lightly, and it has nothing to do with my diction or nervousness, but rather with the indecent look Damian gives me. I live turned on—more every day—and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to keep my distance from them in that sense. I tuck my hair behind my ear and lower my face, fleeing from the looks that burn me alive.
“Look who’s ready to go.” Dr. Hayden walks into the room, cheerful, and all the haze of desire and arousal is undone. Thank goodness. “Scarlett, I dropped by to remind you to come back for weekly evaluations. And don’t forget to take the medication for your headaches if they become too uncomfortable.”
“Yes, I will… dr-drink it,” the doctor says, looking from me to the Blackwells and smiling.
“I’m happy that you’re finally going home… together.” My smile becomes a mirror of four, one that I discover I like more with each passing day. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.” I sigh, my eyes filling with tears. I’m leaving the hospital after so long. I’m leaving victorious, because I overcame so many difficulties; I feel reborn. “See you soon, Scarlett.”
“See you.”
...
My heart is beating so fast it’s as if it might explode at any moment; I’ve never felt like this before. I’m about to meet my daughter, and I don’t know how to act, I don’t know what to say to her. Should I introduce myself as her mother or as Scarlett? I asked Ethan what I should do and he told me to follow my heart.
As soon as Damian places me in the wheelchair, the reality of what’s about to happen becomes more real than I’ve idealized in my head for days. I spent this time thinking about many things, and my heart asks for closure for every important part of my life—at least the parts that need to be closed. This is true of my father. This is true of the Hawthornes. I don’t have the most important memories to know what really happened; nevertheless, I need to say goodbye to who I was. The Scarlett who met the Hawthornes is not the same one of today. When an ending is necessary, it must be ended.
I feel that I still love the Hawthornes; however, I know I no longer belong to them, just as they never belonged to me. I need to think about my daughter and about the life I can have beside the Blackwells. One lesson I’m following after everything I’ve been through is that it’s better to be with those who love us than to crawl for the love of those who don’t. I notice the way the Blackwell brothers look at me and the glow reflected in their eyes—something that never shone in the eyes of the Hawthorne brothers.
I choose to be loved. I choose to learn to love them. I choose my daughter. I choose to start over. It’s not a difficult choice to make; in truth, what little I know of them and what I remember has made the choice easy. I like being with them; I’ve never felt so light and complete before.
Damian helps by pushing the wheelchair, and I gape at the ramps they built around the house so I can move better. They really did make the adaptations they told me about. We stop in front of the front door, and it seems this moment doesn’t make only me nervous; I look at the four of them, who appear to be holding their breath. That’s it. The moment has arrived to meet my daughter. The moment I’ve been searching for since I learned of her existence—and the few memories of being pregnant… That makes me think of something.
“Wait…” The four of them look at me. I cross my arms over my chest. “Are you seriously telling me you didn’t even consider giving her the middle name Butterfly?”
“I told you she’d question that when she woke up,” Noah says, crossing his arms and looking at Ethan, who closes his eyes.
“Scarlett, are you serious?” he asks, opening his eyes in challenge. “Aria is just Aria. She doesn’t have a middle name.” I scowl. Her name would have been unique if it were Aria Butterfly Monroe—besides being beautiful, of course. “Come to think of it, I wanted to name her Sunshine. Damian was against it, Noah was on my side, and Liam didn’t want to get involved.”
Sunshine? I loved it!
“Don’t you dare make that face like you loved the name. I wouldn’t let them give that to the poor child,” Damian says, annoying me as always. “God help me with the next ones.”
Next ones? Okay, my heart skipped a beat.
Damian clears his throat; something about his own words seems to bother him. What could it be? I didn’t have time to ask, because the door was opened by a beautiful woman… I mean, very beautiful. Who is this woman smiling at them as if they were the fucking saviors of the world?
“Madison?” Damian says, and by his tone he wasn’t expecting to find her here. I narrow my eyes between the two of them, wanting to know what the hell was going on.
“You forgot your wallet at the hotel.” The bitch’s eyes latch onto me. “I came here to return it and ran into your mother. She told me you were at the hospital to pick up Ethan’s daughter’s mother.” She made a point of identifying who Aria’s father is, taking the others out of the equation. I want to strangle this woman, but first I want to kill Damian.
“You didn’t have to, but I’m grateful,” Damian replies, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.