Chapter 61 Truth Heavy as Memory
POV Liam:
A month and a half has passed since Scarlett woke up, and today was the worst day of all. Doctor Hayden was emphatic when he told us that Scarlett has nothing in her neurological exams that explains the reason for her memory loss. From what I understood, she doesn’t remember because she doesn’t want to remember. A psychological condition—that’s what the doctor told us. Scarlett is blocking the memories she had with us. The doctor believes the shock of the accident, along with the state she’s currently in, may have been the factors that led to this block. And the worst part? She may never remember what she lived after meeting us. Fuck!
Scarlett has been progressing very well. She can smile better, she can mumble “yes” and “no,” her arms have better mobility, which is why she has started classes to learn how to use a wheelchair—where, unfortunately, she may remain for months. Her speech hasn’t evolved as we hoped, but knowing that she’s alive and well is what comforts us. It’s only a matter of time before she’s walking and speaking like before.
Not once since she woke up has Damian been alone with her. My brother still blames himself deeply for her accident, and nothing we say helps lessen his guilt. The truth is, my brother will never forgive himself. As if all our worries and fears weren’t enough, we also have Aria. Our daughter needs her mother, and her mother doesn’t even remember she ever existed. We’re doing our best—even hiring a private investigator to resume the search for her father. We just want Scarlett to feel safe around us, and to trust that we want what’s best for her.
“ ... ” I turn to her as she tries to pronounce my name, and I smile, thrilled—two days ago she started trying to say our names, making us incredibly happy.
“Do you need something?” I move closer, and she lifts her arm with some difficulty, pointing at the water. “Water?” I ask to be sure, and to encourage her to respond.
“Ye… ye… yes.” I smile proudly. Scarlett has been putting in so much effort; her recovery has surprised even the doctors treating her.
Looking at her and knowing everything she lost while she slept affects me and my brothers deeply. Our daughter grows smarter each day; she reminds us of her mother constantly. Aria is a miniature copy of Scarlett, and perhaps because of her, we managed to stay strong in the hope that Scarlett would one day return to us.
...
Walking into the house is the best part of my day. Even though Scarlett still hasn’t been cleared to come home, being here with my family is what keeps me strong. This is the place where I recharge, where I can hear the best sound in the world—the sound of my daughter’s laughter. I walk toward the giggles, and I’m not surprised to find Noah playing horse with our daughter. Aria loves playing with him, just like she loves playing with Damian in his office… or would it be drooling all over his important documents? Definitely the second option.
“What’s up, Noah?” I greet him as I crouch to pick up my princess. “Hi, my love, causing trouble with Daddy Noah?” Aria smiles, drooling on my face. “Today Mommy tried to say my name.” I say it for Aria, but it’s Noah who stands up smiling.
“Really?” he asks, eyes watering. “Soon she’ll be here at home with us.”
It’s everything I want most.
“Yes.” I close my eyes, inhaling Aria’s baby scent—this has been the only thing that makes me feel okay. Aria is the only one who manages to bring a genuine smile to my face since everything happened to her mother. “Soon, your mommy will be home.” I whisper in my daughter’s ear, hoping that this wish won’t take long to come true.
...
A few weeks later…
The moment I stepped into the hospital, my heart pounded wildly in my chest. Every time I think about seeing Scarlett, it reacts like this. Actually, each day I see her, it gets harder to hold back everything that’s suffocating me inside. I want to tell her how much she was missed, how not having her by our side as we raised our daughter left a hole in every new discovery Aria made—and keeps making since she woke up. I want to look into those beautiful eyes and confess everything; I don’t want to hide my love anymore, not after waiting a year and a half. A year and a half praying that she would wake up and return to our lives.
When I walk into her room, I’m greeted by her smile. She’s eating, and her improvement is obvious; her hands barely tremble now. The nurse beside her whispers something in her ear that makes her smile even more. I walk closer and kiss her forehead. Today I want to talk to her and make a request. Ethan didn’t have the courage, Noah doesn’t want to lie to her, and Damian… well, my brother can’t look at Scarlett without hating himself for everything that happened.
“Hi, Scarlett. How are you feeling today?”
Due to her progress, the doctor told us yesterday that he’s considering discharging her. Scarlett will only need to come to the hospital for physical therapy and her speech sessions, but my brothers and I decided to pay for her to do all of that at home. Her doctor didn’t disagree but warned us that she’ll still need to come in every three days so he can monitor her progress.
“Be… be… better.” Each day her diction improves, and it’s impossible not to feel proud of her strength and dedication. In these nearly three months since she woke from the coma, I’ve been impressed by her progress—and even more in love with the strong woman she is.
“I’m very happy to hear that.” I glance at the nurse, signaling for her to leave us alone.
“Scarlett, I’ll be back soon. Keep eating. You’re doing very well.”
Once I’m alone with Scarlett, I think about how to bring up the topic of her discharge and our wish for her to come home with us. But two things make us hesitant: the first is her immediate refusal, and the second is her seeing Aria. The doctor was clear—we must not tell Scarlett who Aria is, and we must not reveal anything she can’t remember. Doing so could harm her instead of helping. So here I am, ready to lie to the woman I learned to love while she slept.
“Scarlett.” I call her attention, making her look at me. “I have great news to tell you. Doctor Weyden wanted to tell you himself, but I asked him to let me be the one.” Her eyebrows rise slightly.
How am I supposed to do this? How do I look into those unbelievable eyes and simply lie?
“...” She tries to say my name, and I smile.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought.” I pull a chair and sit in front of her. “Keep eating, I don’t want you to stop because of me.” Scarlett resumes eating while I fight an internal battle between right and wrong. “The doctor is planning to discharge you next week.” I say it, drawing her attention and making her stop eating.
“Di… dis…”
“Yes, discharge.” Her smile hits me hard.
I can’t do this. I can’t deceive her, not if it risks affecting her memories. I just can’t lie—not after Scarlett has already lost so much. I… won’t do it.
“Don’t think too much about it, Liam, you’ll do what’s best for her. As soon as she remembers who you are, she’ll understand.”
Thinking about the doctor’s words doesn’t help with my indecision. Lying isn’t right. Scarlett missed so much of our daughter’s life. I cannot bring her into our home and convince her she was hired to be Aria’s nanny. That would be wrong—and cruel. Even if telling the truth prevents Scarlett from remembering us, I won’t lie. Even if telling the truth makes her hate us,
I won’t hide it. Not about Aria.
“Scarlett, I need to tell you a few things… and I will give you all the space you need after hearing me out. I will respect your wishes above all else, and I know my brothers will do the same.” I close my eyes for a few seconds, breathing deeply, and when I open them, I stare at the beautiful woman in front of me and… I tell her everything.