Chapter 63 Chapter 63
Evening crept in quietly, the light in my room dimmed as the sun dipped lower. I hadn’t moved much since Aiden left. I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands folded in my lap, my thoughts running in circles. Dahlia’s voice still echoed in my ear.
Watch your back
Aiden’s voice followed closely behind.
You can tell me your secrets
My mark throbbed faintly, it was like a reminder. This mark was the beginning of everything. It had opened way for my past to be known. I was standing at a crossroads.
Lucian.
If anyone deserved to know the truth, my truth, it was Lucian. He had protected me even without knowing my past, even if he pretended like he didn’t care about me, he still protected me.
And yet, I had still not told him about this one thing, maybe it is the reason why we haven’t taken the big step. I ran a finger through my head, anytime I was finally having peace something new would come up. First, Chase came here, that was something I didn’t expect and it was also a reminder that I could never run forever. I wondered how Lucian would react when I tell him about Lorcan.
Would it change the way he was with me?
The thought tightened my chest. A knock sounded at the door. My heart leaped.
“Yes” I called, my voice steadier than I felt.
The door opened and Lucian stepped in, my heart beat tripled seeing him after some hours. It felt like days since I last saw him. He looked exhausted. His eyes were darkened and his shoulders looked heavy. He closed the door behind him, the soft click echoing too loudly in the room, hesitating as if unsure whether to move further or he was waiting for my permission.
“I’m sorry” he said quietly. “I should have come sooner” I stood slowly surprised by his apology.
“You don’t have to apologize”
“I do. I should have been by your side. You are still healing and you need reassurance” his sincerity made my toes curl.
“You’ve been busy and I understand. I mean it” I said. He nodded but it didn’t seem to ease him.
He moved farther into the room, stopping a respectful distance away.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
“Better, my muscles are a bit sore but I’m good” his lips curved faintly.
“That part doesn’t heal easily” silence stretched between us, it was charged like the air before lightning strikes.
“I heard you went out of the room today” he said.
“I just took a walk, I didn’t spend so much time out. You have people watching me now?”
“The guards I assigned to you reported that to me. I also heard Aiden came here” he said carefully. I nodded.
“He came to check up on me”
“And?”
“He just asked questions about my health” I met Lucian’s gaze.
He studied me for a long moment, then exhaled slowly.
“Ailsa” he said, his voice so low. “There’s something I want to tell you” my pulse quickened.
“This isn’t about duty or the pack. It’s about me and it’s something I should have told you since after you arrived. I have been thinking about it all day and came to a decision today” he continued. I didn’t interrupt him.
He crossed the room and leaned against the table, his hands braced on the edge.
“I didn’t reject the bond because of you” he began. “I need you to know that” my fingers curled into the fabric of my dress.
“Her name was Elara”
The name was like a bomb that exploded as he said it. Lucian had finally confirmed Damian and Dahlia’s words. I remembered when they made mention of a woman associated with Lucian
“She was my first mate or so I thought” he said and my breath caught.
“She was brilliant, beautiful and ambitious. She was very good at hiding her intentions” he chuckled dryly.
“I was young then, not too young but it made me understand how bonds could be broken when trust is” his jaw tightened. “She wanted power and influence. The kind that came from ruling and not supporting” I let a familiar ache bloom in my chest.
“When I refused to bend the pack to her will, she went behind my back. Passed information to rival packs and fed them my weakness while standing behind my side” my stomach twisted.
“I trusted her with my bed, my secrets and my life” he said quietly.
“And she broke that trust” I murmured. He nodded.
“She tried to destroy the pack from within” he sounded so hurt.
Our bond trembled reacting to the pain that threaded through his words. I wished I could meet that Elara and smash her head.
“When she was exposed, she didn’t beg or deny it. She told me that she didn’t love me and she had only been using me. It made me even think if she was even my mate in the first place or I had just been living an illusion” anger flared in me, hot and sharp.
“What happened to her?” I asked
“She left and followed another male. Even though I begged her not to leave me, I was willing to be with her even with what she had done. It thought me a lesson I never wanted to learn” he lifted his gaze to mine, his eyes dark and unguarded.
“That bonds don’t make you stronger” his gaze never left mine as he spoke those words. “They make you vulnerable” I understood everything now.
“So when you felt it with me…” I whispered.
“I panicked that day. I didn’t want to feel it. I don’t want to have another mate. I didn’t want to give anyone that kind of power over me again” he admitted. His voice roughened.
“I hated how easily you slipped past every wall I had built” my heart pounded.
“I never meant to make you feel wanted” he said. “The distance was fear not rejection” emotion surged in my throat, it was thick.
“W-why are you telling me this now?” My voice faltered.
“Keeping it from you makes me feel like I’m lying. You deserve to know everything about me and why I hesitated all this while”
“Lucian….” I whispered.
“I want everything with you” happiness swelled in my chest. My wolf purred in joy.
“I don’t expect forgiveness. I just couldn’t let you keep thinking my distance was only because you were a rogue
I searched his face, it was open and vulnerable and I could tell every thing he was feeling, his expression was unguarded in a way I hadn’t seen before.
“I was thinking about telling you of my past too” I admitted quietly. His brows furrowed.
“You don’t have to”
“I know” I took a breath.
‘No, the time has finally arrived for you to tell him’ my wolf said but I ignored her.
“Maybe one day when I’m ready” he nodded accepting that without pressure.
He stood then, the silence between us shifted, thickened and charged with things left unsaid. Lucian’s gaze dropped to my lips, then lifted again.
“I had to tell you this because I want to take that final step with you. I want to finally make you mine but I just want to let you know that there will always be danger around you. Politics, enemies. People would see you as leverage” he said. His hand lifted, hesitating near my cheek.
“But I won’t let any be a weapon against you” I leaned into his touch without thinking. His breath hitched.
“Ailsa…” he murmured, his voice barely above a breath. “If this is too much…” I stepped forward.
The decision felt inevitable, like something already written. His breath hitched as my hands rose, resting lightly against his chest. I could feel his heart racing beneath my palms, matching mine.
“I don’t think it’s too much” I said. He didn’t move neither did he rush.
“Tell me to stop” he murmured. I didn’t. For a heartbeat, he didn’t move. Instead, I leaned in.
The kiss was soft at first tentative, questioning. Lucian’s hands hovered at my waist, waiting for permission I gave by pressing closer. When his lips deepened the kiss, it wasn’t gentle, it was intense and full of everything he’d been holding back. Longing, fear and desire, all poured into the kiss.
Careful, like he was afraid of breaking something precious. His hands held my waist, firm and anchoring me as the bond surged between us, warm and electric.
My wolf purred pleased and possessive, warmth spreading through my chest.
For one suspended moment, everything else faded
the threats, the secrets, the shadows circling us. There was only this.
When we finally pulled apart, foreheads resting together, neither of us spoke. We didn’t need to.
The tension hadn’t vanished. But it had shifted.
And that, somehow, felt even more dangerous. I wanted more too. My wolf wanted more too and so I whispered.
“Make love to me”