Chapter 48 Chapter 48
It had been three days since I saw Lucian. It had been three days since the slap. Three days of replaying the moment in my head over and over again. Three days of silence between us, thick, heavy and suffocating silence. I regretted what I had did. I didn’t even know what came over me.
I hadn’t even seen him by mistake. I didn’t see him in the halls, I didn’t hear his footsteps around my door. I didn’t feel his gaze burning into my skin during training.
It was as if he had vanished from the pack completely and somehow that hurt more than our arguments. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, the afternoon sun slanting towards the curtain. My wolf paced inside me, restless and whining softly.
‘Go to him’ her voice brushed against my thoughts. ‘He’s our mate. Fix it’
No. I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow.
‘You miss him’
“I don’t” I muttered aloud, annoyed at both her and myself. I didn’t need her nagging. I just wanted to think in peace.
‘You’re lying’
“I’m not”
‘You are’
I growled under my breath,
“Can you stop for a minute and let me think?” My wolf huffed.
‘You slapped him. What makes you different from what you were accusing him of?’
“I didn’t slap him on purpose. It just happened”
‘That’s the more reason why you should go and apologize. He hasn’t come to meet you, doesn’t that bother you?’
It bothered me more than I cared to admit. The truth was I didn’t know what bothered me more. That he didn’t come to me at all.
The silence made it worse, made everything I felt knot inside my chest, tight enough to hurt. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. Apologize? Yell? Explain? Or kiss him?
No. No that. Absolutely not that. I didn’t want to kiss him.
‘Liar. You want his kisses’ she purred.
“Shut up” I muttered out loud.
‘I’ll only shut up when you do the right thing’
“Shut the fuck up” I threw a pillow to the wall.
A knock sounded on the door. I froze. For a second, hope punched in my ribs that I gasped.
Lucian?
But then the door opened before I could respond and Lina walked in. She smiled when she saw me and shut the door.
“Ailsa” she said, walking to the bed. “You look like someone who’s been battling with something”
“I have” she laughed softly and sat beside me.
“I came to check on you. It seems like you have been hidden away for hours”
“You saw me just this morning Lina and I’m fine”
“You’re lying”
“What’s with everyone accusing me of lying these days” I groaned.
“It’s because you are terrible at hiding your feelings” she answered simply. I glared at her but she only raised an amused brow.
“I think I know the reason for your mood” she said, but I remained silent.
Lina’s eyes drifted to the window. I knew Lina, there was something on her mind and that’s why she didn’t insist that I tell her what was wrong. She wanted to say something but I didn’t want to push her to tell me what’s wrong she I already had a lot on my mind.
Finally, she inhaled.
“I saw something” she murmured. “I don’t know if I should tell you or pretend like I didn’t see it” my stomach tightened.
“You’ve brought it to already so just spill” she hesitated again, biting her lip
“Promise you won’t get upset?”
No. Absolutely not. What did she have to tell me that could get me upset than I already am.
“Just say it, Lina” she exhaled slowly.
“Two nights ago….I saw Dahlia leaving the Alphas room” my breath stilled. My wolf groaned, everything inside was painfully still.
Lina searched my face carefully.
“I don’t know why she was there. Maybe it was pack business or she needed to report something but what I can really tell you is that she had smile when she left”
A sharp, cold ache sliced through my chest. I tried to swallow it down but it lodged at my throat. Two nights ago….that was the day that I slapped him. He must have gone to Dahlia for comfort.
My words replayed in my head, I had told me him to carry on with Dahlia and he was doing exactly as I asked or maybe he was doing it to spite me. I didn’t want to care.
I shouldn’t care. Lucian wasn’t my mate…not officially, he wasn’t my lover. He wasn’t mine either so I shouldn’t be bothered.
He had every right to let Dahlia into his room. Every right to sleep with her , kiss her and hold her. Every right to do whatever he wanted.
Knowing this didn’t help. It still hurt like hell. It hurt me in a deep twisting way that I hated so much. I thought I was past this phase but it seemed like it was in my fate to always be hurt by my mates. What this what the goddess wanted me to go through? Lina reached for my hand squeezing gently.
“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want someone else telling you first especially Dahlia. She might rub it in your face and that’s why I wanted you to know”
“I don’t care” I lied, forcing a shrug. “They can do whatever they want. They are both adults”
Even as I said that my chest twisted painfully. Lina gave me that look, the one that saw right through me.
“Ailsa…”
“What?” I snapped, harshly than I intended. She softened her voice.
“It bothers you. It’s okay to admit it does. It’s just the two of us in here” I closed my eyes.
“No, it doesn’t”
“It does” I shook my head but the pressure behind my eyes betrayed me.
‘Don’t let the tears fall. You promised yourself big to cry’ I spoke in my mind. My wolf made a low wounded sound.
‘We pushed him into her arms’
“He can do whatever he wants. It’s none of my business” I whispered. Lina rubbed small circles on my arm.
“What happened between you two?” I laughed but he came out as a broken sound.
“Where do I start?”
“The beginning” she said and stayed patient, waiting.
“Dahlia told him a false tale and he believed her. I went back to give him a piece of my mind and he kissed me” I whispered. “To shut me up and so I slapped him” her eyes went wide.
“You slapped the Alpha?”
“Yes” I groaned into my hands. “I slapped him hard. I didn’t know what came over me. I was confused and all”
“And then?”
“And then he walked away”
He walked away and he didn’t look back at me. Lina sighed.
“No wonder he’s been in a mood” I looked up sharply
“What mood?” She blinked.
“The kind that makes everyone avoid him. He refuses to eat. He snaps at the servants and everybody constantly. I heard one of the warriors say he almost beheaded someone for speaking slowly” my heart skipped. I swallowed.
“O-oh. I’m not aware”
“So whatever it’s between you two is affecting him too”
I hated the relief that washed through me but my chest felt lighter. Then the ache returned, if it was affecting him too why hadn’t he come to meet me. Why had he stayed away?
“So what do you plan to do?” Lina asked.
“Do about what?” I asked like I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“I mean about your situation with the Alpha. Are you going to apologize to him or you are going to keep avoiding him”
“I have not been avoiding him. I’ve been carrying on like I’ve always done”
“No, you only come out when it’s time for training and leave immediately training is over. That’s not the way you act on a normal day”
“Damian hasn’t been coming for training so there’s no excuse for me to stay there long. You know that most of the warriors don’t speak with me”
“Hmm….I think you should talk to the Alpha so you two can settle. It’s obvious you two are missing each other”
“I am not missing him”
“You don’t…”
A sudden knock jolted both of us. We froze, staring at the door. Lina’s brow lifted.
“Are you expecting someone?”
“No”
Not a single person ever came to my door except Lina. My heart jumped again. Was it Lucian? My wolf scrambled forward.
‘It’s him’
“It’s not him” I whispered back though a part of me wanted it to desperately be. There was another knock, more firm this time. Lina and I exchanged glances. She stood, patting my hand.
“I’ll go check who it is”
“No” I swallowed, suddenly breathless. “I’ll do it”
I walked slowly towards the door, every step heavier than the last. My fingers trembled as I reached for the handle, my heart pounding in my chest.
‘Open it’ my wolf urged. I did.
The door swung open and my breath caught. Standing before me was not who I expected to see. It wasn’t Lucian and it wasn’t Aiden either. Neither was it Damian.
“Ailsa” he said.
It was Chase.
His eyes filled with something heavy and I knew it was not good. Lina gasped softly behind me.
“W-what are you doing here?” I stuttered. He exhaled as if he’d been holding his breath for a long time.
“I came” he said quietly “because we need to talk”