Chapter 114 Chapter 114
The days rolled by in a blur and I had practically had the same routine. Wake up, eat, do some planning with Lina until we were both exhausted.
If anyone asked if the preparations were going smoothly, I would say, it was going better than smoothly. Supplies arrived on time and decorations were being finalized. The cooks no longer looked at me with uncertainty but with respect.
I had spent more time in the kitchen these past few days than I had ever done since I arrived here. And that was an avenue for them to get to know me and give versa. Lina had been indispensable, hovering at my side with a smile and an ability to provide anything I needed before I could ask. She was a good assistant and I was grateful.
For the first time in a while, I felt competent. At least there was something I could do for the pack.
Everything went smoothly and Dahlia had stayed out of my way since then. Elara too. The silence from them was almost suspicious, but I wasn’t foolish enough to poke at it.
I knew myself well enough to admit I wasn’t sure how I’d react if either of them crossed me again. Not after everything. Not when my patience was already worn thin by exhaustion and too many thoughts I kept tightly locked away.
I thought about Lucian everyday and how much I missed him. He had been absent but it was not of his choice. We barely saw each other anymore.
I would go to sleep early due to exhaustion and if I managed to stay up late, he didn’t return until long after I’d fallen asleep. When I woke, the bed would be cold, his side already empty. Sometimes I caught his scent lingering faintly in the room, a reminder that he’d been there at some point, just not with me.
I told myself it was temporary. That he was busy. That an Alpha preparing for a wolf ball while managing unrest at the borders didn’t have the luxury of idle mornings or shared meals. But still it stung. I wished to spend a little time with him and my wolf agreed with that.
In the afternoon, after checking the final list of supplies one last time, candles, wine, food and decoration. I handed my notes to Lina and made a decision. I would go to him. At least just to get a glimpse of him.
The pack house felt quieter the closer I got to Lucian’s office. My steps slowed as I approached his office, and nerves creeped up my spine. I just turned to the corner of his office when the door opened and Elara stepped out.
She wore a soft expression, her posture relaxed, her movements unhurried as though she had gotten what she came for. When her eyes met mine, her lips curved into a smile that was anything but kind. A smirk.
It lasted only a second before Elara brushed past me, but it was enough. Enough to set something sharp and hot twisting in my chest. It took restraint not to combust right there.
Without thinking, I pushed the door open. Lucian looked up from behind his desk. Papers were spread out before him, his expression already weary but what caught my attention immediately was the undone top button of his shirt. A small thing. Insignificant, yes. Except it wasn’t. It had different thoughts running through my head.
“What was she doing in here?” I asked, my voice sharper than I intended as I closed the door behind.
“Elara?” Lucian’s brow furrowed.
“Yes, Elara” I said “Or is there someone else that left your office?” I asked.
“She came to plead her case” he replied evenly. “Asked me to loosen the restrictions placed on her”
“And did you?” I crossed my arms.
“No. I already told you it was a punishment. One she’ll be under until I change my mind” my eyes flicked back to his chest., to the open shirt. The glimpse of skin she knew too well.
“Then why is your top button undone?” I asked quietly. Lucian’s gaze darkened not with guilt, but irritation.
“I hope what you are implying isn’t what I think it is.” I swallowed.
“I’m not accusing you of anything. I just…”
“Damn it, Ailsa. When would you trust me?” he cut in, pushing back from the desk and standing.
“I have given you reassurance more times than I can count” My breath hitched.
“And yet….” he continued, his voice rising despite himself. “The moment you walk in and see her leaving, you assume the worst of me”
“I didn’t assume….” I tried to explain but he cut me off.
“You did” he said flatly. “You didn’t even ask. You went straight there. Is this what is going to happen anytime you see a woman leaving my office?”
Silence stretched between us, heavy and uncomfortable. I dug my nails deep into my palm.
“Who hurt you?” Lucian asked suddenly, his tone shifting, not angry now, but raw.
“What happened in your past that makes you so afraid to trust someone? To trust me” my throat tightened.
How was I going to tell him that another man had made me like this? It’s not like I didn’t trust Lucian. I guess I’m paranoid today.
“We haven’t truly talked in days. We’ve barely see each other. And the first real conversation we have, this is where it goes” He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair.
“What do you want me to do, Ailsa? Tell me. What do I need to do so you stop suspecting me of things I would never do to you?” Guilt crashed into me like a wave.
I saw it then not just his frustration, but his hurt. The exhaustion etched into his face. The way his shoulders sagged, as if he were carrying the world in his shoulders. I felt so bad, I didn’t want to add to his exhaustion. I’m supposed to help him.
“I’m sorry” I said softly.
“I didn’t mean to come in like that. I’ve just been tired. And stressed. And I shouldn’t have taken it out on you” I realized I was trying to put the blame on something else.
“No, no. I won’t try to run from my fault. I guess I was just being stupid”
“You’re not…” Lucian opened his mouth to respond.
I didn’t let him Instead, I crossed the distance between them in three quick steps and kissed him.
It wasn’t a demanding kiss but a honest one. A quiet apology pressed into my lips, all the things she hadn’t known how to say wrapped into a single, impulsive moment.
He froze for half a heartbeat.
Then his hands came to my waist, his touch was warm, as he kissed me back, slow and deep, unmistakably Lucian. The tension between us shifted, unraveling into something softer, heavier.
“Still mad at me?” I murmured against his mouth.
He huffed a quiet laugh, his forehead resting against mine.
“ I want to be”
“But?”
“But you make it very difficult when you are seducing me” I smiled.
We didn’t speak after that. Words felt unnecessary as he guided my back toward the desk, lifting me gently so I sat among scattered papers.
I rested my forehead against his shoulder, listening to his heartbeat.
“I didn’t mean to doubt you” I whispered. Lucian pressed a kiss into my hair.
“I know”
Still, as I closed her eyes, that smirk lingered in my mind. Elara had wanted me to see her leaving that office.
“Don’t apologize again and just kiss me” Lucian said with a thick voice.
His lips moved against mine, his tongue seeking mine. His fingers disappeared under my dress, seeking and finding my wetness. Looking into his eyes, I could see his eyes were dark, his breath heavy, and his bulging hardness could be felt through his pants.
Two of his fingers slid in. My mouth widened into a gasp which he met with his own mouth, slipping his tongue to accompany mine. Looping an arm around his neck, holding tight, I used my free hand to brace myself against his chest. His free hand rested on the small of my back, while his two fingers proceeded to slip back and forth inside me slowly. Pulling them out to the tips, then plunging back in till his knuckles rubbed against my lower lips.
My body adapted and began accommodating the intrusion, he picked up the pace with his fingers. My body felt hot, sweat was starting to form on my forehead.
“Lucian” I whined. "I need....I need”
"Shhhhh." he hushed me.
“I got you. Let go”
A rush of ecstasy followed. Rising high, building. Then crashing down on me. Lucian kept pumping his fingers, whispering words of encouragement, dragging out my orgasm.
When the wave eased, I rested against his chest. His lips pressed against my forehead, kissed down my face to my neck. Finding that one spot and sucking. My hips grounded against the hardened bulge.
Maybe this was all I needed. A release.