Chapter 68 Separation

Chapter 68 Separation
Chapter Content

I watched James's face grow dark. His whole body went rigid. He didn't speak or move for what felt like forever.

Guilt flooded my chest.

I knew my decision would hurt James. He'd loved me for so long. If I'd never accepted his feelings, we'd still be simple siblings. But I had accepted them. I'd given him hope, and now I was taking it away.

I was like a killer stabbing James in the heart. I was being cruel.

"James, you can yell at me. This really is my fault."

I lifted my hand to touch his head and comfort him, but James was too tall. With both of us standing, I'd have to get on my tiptoes to reach him, which would look ridiculous. So I patted his arm instead.

My touch seemed to snap him out of it. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall.

His grip was strong. My shoulders hurt. When I hit the wall, pain shot through my entire back.

"Ashley, would you only belong to me completely if you died?" James asked viciously.

My body ached, but it was bearable.

I shook my head and hugged him.

"James, don't joke about that. When people die, they're just dead."

James pressed his forehead against my shoulder. I didn't move. I let him hold me. I knew he needed time to accept that we couldn't be lovers anymore.

After a while, James released me. His expression was still awful, but he forced a smile.

"Ashley, I don't want this. But you're asking, and you know I can't refuse you."

My eyes got wet. James was so kind. Even now, he was still thinking of me.

"James, we can't be lovers, but you're still my family. That's more intimate than romance."

"I know."

James told me he was going downstairs to smoke. I knew he didn't smoke. He just needed somewhere to process his emotions.

I knew I couldn't stay with him anymore. Since we were going back to being family, I couldn't do things that would confuse him.

I returned to Matthew's hospital room. Soon Julio arrived.

"How's Matthew?" Julio asked me.

I explained Matthew's condition. He was out of danger, but the deep wounds had caused serious damage. He'd need to stay in the hospital for a while.

"The Adam family owns shares in this hospital. All of Matthew's expenses will be covered."

I didn't refuse. Julio was Matthew's father. Supporting Matthew was his responsibility.

"Ashley, you should have told me Matthew was my son earlier."

"Tell you so you could take him away from me?" I shot back.

Julio immediately denied it.

"How could I separate you and Matthew? Matthew is our child. Wouldn't it be better if our family of three was together? If I'd known Matthew was mine, we would have been together long ago."

I laughed bitterly. Julio was revealing that he wanted to use Matthew to tie me to him.

"I'll never get back together with you. Even if you threaten me with Matthew, it's never going to happen." I was completely serious.

"Why not? Fathers, mothers, and children should be together, right?" Julio looked genuinely confused.

"That's just what you think. The law allows this situation."

"I disagree! Families should be together! Like Fitch, Isabel, and me. We all lived together until I became an adult."

I wasn't going to debate this with him anymore.

"Wait in the room. When Matthew wakes up, I'll tell him you're his father. You can visit Matthew often from now on. If he wants to go out with you, you can take him, but you have to bring him back to me at night."

"I still want us to live together," Julio insisted.

"Don't think about going to court for Matthew's custody. The court won't support your claim. And if you try, I'll never let you see Matthew again." I was firm.

"Ashley, how can you be so cruel?" Julio looked at me pitifully.

I wouldn't be fooled by him. This was just his way of trying to get my sympathy.

When we were dating, he used to look at me like this all the time. He knew I was someone who softened easily.

But I wasn't stupid. I wouldn't be bought by his act after he'd hurt me over and over.

"OK! Since you put it that way." Julio seemed to give in.

When Matthew woke up, I told him the truth. Matthew looked confused. He was too young to understand the complicated relationship between Julio and me, but he understood what "father" meant.

Matthew snuggled in Julio's arms, his little hand touching Julio's face.

"Matthew likes Father," little Matthew said seriously.

My heart ached a little. Even with James and me around, a father was still special to Matthew.

Every day after that, Julio came to see Matthew. He'd stay in the room all day.

He didn't play with Matthew much. He was pretty cold toward him.

I remembered the diagnosis from his psychiatrist - antisocial personality disorder.

This personality disorder made him lack empathy. He didn't really care about his family or his child.

That's why I hadn't wanted Julio to know about Matthew before. He might not be able to give Matthew normal fatherly love.

James and Julio were constantly at each other's throats. They kept getting into fights.

Like now. They were fighting in the hospital hallway again.

The doctors and nurses didn't break them up anymore. Not after they found out who Julio was.

But this was suffocating me. I stopped them again.

"Neither of you need to come to the hospital anymore starting tomorrow!"

"No!" they both said at the same time.

At least they agreed on this.

"Matthew really likes me. He'd be sad if I didn't come."

"Ashley, you can't take care of Matthew alone."

They both gave reasons why they had to keep coming, but it didn't change my mind.

"Since you're both planning to come anyway, I can go to work. You two can take good care of Matthew."

As long as I didn't have to be with them, I could go anywhere. I loved my job more than ever right now.

They wanted to argue, but one fierce look from me shut them up.

So the next day, I was back at the office. James insisted on driving me to work.

We ran into Lynn in the elevator. He greeted me, then stared at James.

"Sir, have we met somewhere? You look really familiar."

Lynn's behavior made James uncomfortable. He frowned.

"I don't know you!"

"We definitely met somewhere!"

"Enough! You're being rude!" James snapped, interrupting Lynn.

"Hey! Just looking, man. Don't be so uptight."