Chapter 28 Goodbye

Chapter 28 Goodbye
SAMARA – POV

The drive to school is quiet.

Not the comfortable kind of quiet Derrick and I have always shared. Usually silence between us feels full. Safe. Like we never needed words to understand each other.

This silence feels fragile.

Like if either of us speaks, something else might break.

I keep my eyes fixed on the blur of pine trees rushing past the passenger window, watching sunlight flicker through the branches in quick flashes of gold and shadow. Every now and then I catch Derrick looking at me in the reflection, only for him to return his attention to the road the second I notice.

Neither of us knows how to exist inside this new truth.

Yesterday he told me everything.

Or at least... everything he thought I could survive hearing.

That I wasn't just Samara.

That I carried Aleira's soul.

That the memories weren't dreams.

That they belonged to me.

To us.

My fingers tighten around the strap of my backpack until my knuckles turn white.

I remember the way he'd chosen every word so carefully, as though each sentence had been weighed a hundred times before he allowed it to leave his mouth.

He had looked terrified.

Not of my powers.

Not of the demons hunting us, but of hurting me.

"It doesn't matter what you are," he'd told me quietly.

"I love you because you're Sam."

At the time it had settled something inside me.

Now it only raises more questions.

Of course he loves me.
He's my brother. At least... the brother I'd always believed him to be.

Maybe that's all he meant.

Maybe he was trying to tell me that even though I reminded him of the woman he'd spent eight hundred years mourning, he still loved me for who I'd become.

Not because I carried her memories.

Not because part of her lived inside me.

Because I was... me.

Except...

The way he'd looked at me after telling me.

The way his eyes lingered.

The way he'd held me after I'd nearly collapsed.

None of it felt brotherly anymore.

Not after everything I remembered.

Not after seeing Aleira in his arms. Seeing them kiss. Promising him forever.

Heat creeps into my face.
I shove the thought away immediately.

No.

I am not Aleira.

I am Sam. Potentially cursed for all eternity, hunted by demons and their crazy demon overlord and whatever else is out there. But I'm still me.
Aren't I?

The question circles endlessly inside my head until I almost feel sick.

Who am I supposed to be now?

Samara Hayden?

Aleira?

The daughter of an angel and a demon.

The girl I was becoming in Mill Hollow.

An ancient healer? Some mythical prophecy? Or Derrick's little sister.

Each answer seems to erase another piece of me.

I don't know which version survives when all of this is over.

"I know you're thinking too hard."

Derrick's voice is gentle.

I glance sideways.

His hands rest loosely on the steering wheel, but I notice the faint tension running through his forearms.

Even relaxed, he looks ready.

Always ready.

"For someone who spent sixteen years telling me not to try and read your mind," I murmur, "you've gotten awfully good at reading mine."

A tiny smile pulls at the corner of his mouth.

"I've had a lot of practice."

The smile disappears almost as quickly as it came.

"You don't have to figure everything out today, Mouse."

Mouse.

The nickname should feel normal.

Instead it makes my chest ache.

"I don't even know what 'everything' is anymore."

His jaw flexes.

"I know."

"No." I let out a slow breath. "I don't think you do."

The words come out softer than I intended.

"I'm trying to understand how I can be two people at once."

His grip tightens almost imperceptibly on the steering wheel.

"You're not."

I look at him.

"You are Samara."

His voice carries that calm certainty in them, as if he knows exactly who I am and that's the end of it.

"Aleira's memories are part of you. They always have been. But they don't erase who you've become."

He glances at me briefly.

"You don't have to be anything like the woman she was. You already have all of her best qualities. You are brave, and kind and caring. You never back down from something you believe in."

Something in my chest loosens.

Only a little.

"I don't know if I believe that yet."

"You don't have to."

His voice softens.

"I'll keep reminding you until you do."

The school comes into view before I can answer.

Ivy covered brick walls. Rows of buses.
Students drifting between buildings with coffee cups and backpacks slung over one shoulder.

Normal.

Painfully normal.

My stomach twists.

This...

This was supposed to be my escape.

The place where none of the impossible existed.

Where I worried about chemistry homework instead of ancient prophecies.

Where the biggest problem in my life was Jesse Carter refusing to understand the meaning of personal space.

I almost laugh.

If only.

The truck rolls into its usual parking spot.

The engine falls silent.

For a moment neither of us moves.

Break should start any minute.

I'd texted Casey before we left.

Me:
I'm here. Please come outside?

Three little dots had appeared almost instantly.

Casey:
OH MY GOD YOU'RE ALIVE. COMING.

I stare through the windshield.

Students are already beginning to spill out of the building.

My pulse picks up immediately.
A strange prickling starts under my skin, coursing through me like electricity trapped beneath my skin.
The same vibration I'd been noticing ever since I woke up.

Power.

Quiet for now.

But undeniably alive.

I rub absentmindedly at the place beneath my right ribs.

The cold spot is still there.
Hidden beneath the warmth.

Derrick notices the movement immediately.

"You okay?"

"I think so."

Not exactly a convincing answer.

He studies me for another second before climbing out of the truck.

By the time I reach for the handle, he's already there.

Of course he is.

He opens the passenger door before I can touch it.

The morning air is cool against my face.

I swing my legs carefully onto the pavement.

The concussion still leaves the world tilting if I move too quickly.

Without thinking, Derrick's hand settles against the small of my back. Steady and supportive.
The familiar touch should have grounded me.

Instead every nerve beneath his palm seems to wake all at once.

Heat seeps through the fabric of my hoodie.

Not ordinary warmth.

Something deeper.

It spreads slowly up my spine and across my ribs until goosebumps chase over my skin.

I freeze for half a heartbeat.

He notices instantly.

His hand begins to pull away.

"I'm sorry."

"No."

The word escapes before I think.

His eyes meet mine.

"It's... okay."

I don't know why my voice sounds breathless.

Or why I suddenly miss his hand the second it leaves me.

Together we walk toward the front steps.

Students weave around us without paying much attention.

To everyone else, we're just another brother walking his little sister back to school.

If only they knew.

If only I knew.

Then I see Casey burst through the front doors.

She spots me immediately.

Her entire face lights up.

She lets out a squeal loud enough to make half the courtyard turn and look.

"There you are!"