The Beginning Of Something Big

The Beginning Of Something Big
Sofia pov
Embarrassment made my cheeks turn tomato red. I wish I could faint right now, or better still let the ground swallow me. 
What had I been thinking? 
“Sofia.” My face was still covered with my hands. 
“What?” I mumbled. Shame had tightened my throat making it feel like 
“Look at me.” He ordered. He must have dropped the offending object because I heard it thud against the duvet. 
“I can't, I'm so sorry.” I apologized. 
I heard him sigh, a stretch of silence ensued and then a crunch of fabric as he knelt in front of me. 
“Sofia, do you trust me? Look at me.” Gently, he nudged my chin.

“Marco, please.” I was close to tears. 
Marco had seen the sex toy that I had been using on myself. I hadn't been expecting anyone and thought it would be safe for me to pleasure myself tonight. 
And the last person I expected to see was him when I opened the door after hearing the knock.
After enough coaxing, he was able to remove my hands from my face. 
“No, I should be the one apologizing.” His face was stiff, I knew he was uncomfortable. How the hell was he supposed to react seeing his wife's sex toy? 
“No, I should be the one apologizing.”
“Sofia, no. I intruded on your privacy and should have insisted on coming in.” 
I was a virgin and inexperienced but I still had sexual needs that I had to attend. Marco and I have been married for months now and we have never shared a proper kiss except from the one we had after that incident.
“Marco.” I sighed. 

“Sofia.” He looked at a loss for words.
“This is so awkward.” I groaned wanting to cover my face with my palms. 
“How am I going to say this?” 
“Marco, we can just just forget this incident. I'm so sorry you had to see that.” 
“No, you are a woman and you deserve to do whatever makes you happy, as far it's not with another man.” His brows dropped down as his face twisted into a scowl. 
“I wouldn't dare.” I murmured.
Mafia men were very possessive and viewed their wives as their possession even though they didn't harbor an iota of feelings for her.
“Good. I understand why you did it. I haven't been the most caring and dutiful husband, so I don't blame you.”
I kept silent. I was thinking of how I would behave when we wanted to interact the next day. It was going to be so awkward. 
“I will just take my leave. Have good night Sofia.” He dropped a light kiss on my forehead hesitantly standing up. 

My eyes caught the glittery handle of the vibrator. 
“Wait.” I closed my eyes. 
“Sofia.” 
The other reason why I had given in to pleasuring myself to sleep was because I didn't want to have any nightmares. 
My recurring nightmares had stopped making constant appearances but sometimes I still had them.
If I slept off from self induced pleasure fatigue, I would be too tired to even dream. Or so I reasoned.
“You can keep me company.” His presence will help me sleep better. 
“You want me to sleep here?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Alright.”

We were lying in bed side to side  after I had washed the sex toy and carefully kept it in a little locker in my wardrobe. 
“Are you comfortable?” He asked me. 
“Yeah I'm.” A slip of my hair fell on my face. 
“Alright.” He helped to remove the stray hair by slipping behind my left ear.
We didn't speak but watched each other. 
For some reason I shifted closer to him, to the extent I could his breath on my face, and mine on his.
“What are we doing?” I asked him quietly. 
I had been beating myself about this and now I think I might have come to terms with my budding feelings for Marco. 

“What do you want us to do?” Before I could respond, Marco spoke again. 
“Sorry that came out wrong.” 
“No, it's fine.” 
A weird thought entered my mind but I brushed it off quickly. 
“Is something wrong?” 
“No. I'm fine.” 
We kept silent but the thoughts I brushed off resurfaced. 
“Can I ask you a question, Marco?” 
“Yes you can.” 
“It's not a regular question.” I bit my lip still deciding if I was making a big mistake. My brain was fogged up with my rising libido.
“Go ahead Sofia. I will try my best to answer.”
“Oh okay.” 
“Do you find me attractive?” I asked after a moment of silence.
“Sofia?” 
“Do you?” I looked him directly in the eye. 
“I,”
“It's fine if you don't.” I looked down.
“I do. Sofia I find you very attractive.”
“Good, I also find you attractive.” 

“I want us to do something.” 
“What's that?”
“It's crazy though and you might not like it.” I warned him. 
“I want us to have sex.” I blurted out. 
Marco's brows went up in surprise. 
“I didn't get to finish off and I'm your wife and we find each other attractive and I know this isn't the best time but I want you.” My words flew over each other and jumbled because of my nervousness.
“You want that?” 
“Yes I do.” I nodded. 
“Are you sure? This is a very big decision.”
“I'm sure. I want you. Except you're not attracted to me then, it shouldn't be a problem.”
“Reverse psychology.”  He chuckled.
“So?”
“Yes. But I will stop if you feel uncomfortable.” 
“Yes, I agree.” I had no intentions of stopping him.