Chapter 35
Oriel had done what he needed to do. Leif and Cosette were now bonded, which was something she had wanted dearly. It brought him immense peace to know he had been able to fulfill one of her deepest wishes. Now that the task was finished, his body was ready to give up.
Sounds became muffled in his ears, and he wasn’t sure which way was up and which was down. He could no longer make out faces through his blurry vision. But worst of all was the way his lungs burned as if filled with acid. Every breath scorched his lungs with a fiery agony. He took as few breaths as possible. His legs refused to obey him. They could not support his weight.
Please let me die.
It was a selfish thought. But he could no longer endure the torture. He did what he had to do. And now he was ready for the pain to cease. Even Zachariah’s elixirs were no longer enough to muffle the agony.
Don’t let me suffer any longer. Please let me die.
But he didn’t die because the pain didn’t end.
“Brother,” a voice said, bringing him out of his painful haze. He recognized the green sash hanging from the vampire’s neck. The Diviner. “You are suffering greatly.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t want to admit it, especially when he had been trying so hard to hide his pain from Cosette, who knew nothing of the degree of his agony.
The Diviner continued. “To live a full life is a great privilege, and you have lived one of the fullest lives I have known. Ylios recognizes your dedication to the church. He commends you for your willingness over the years to beautify the building and bring others into the fold. Your soul has a place in the afterlife, a place where you can feel at peace from your burdens. No longer will your heart be at war with your mind.”
Somehow, the Diviner’s words brought him peace, if only for the afterlife. In this life, he was leaving behind a mate and a child.
“I want Cosette to be happy,” he whispered. “My grandfather still weeps over losing his mate. My grandmother. Centuries have passed since his loss. What will my death do to Cosette? I cannot bear the thought of her weeping.”
“As the head of the church, I have sworn a bachelor life. I do not know what it is to take a mate, or to lose a mate. But I have experienced others’ losses firsthand time and again. The pain will always be great because of the blood bond between mates. You cannot protect Cosette from it. But you can take heart in knowing she loves you so dearly as to mourn your death for the rest of her years. And she will take heart in knowing you will watch over her from your place in the afterlife. Happy will be the day when you are reunited with your mate. But now, thanks to you, she will have a companion, your son. It will soften the loss.”
Knowing Cosette would have Leif provided him a sense of peace. Short were the years when a vampire was a child, and someday, Leif would be older, taller, stronger, and he would take care of Cosette in his absence.
“Thank you,” he said. “I don’t feel quite as despaired as I once did. I am satisfied I have fulfilled my vows to the best of my ability. I just wish I could protect Cosette from a broken heart.”
“A broken heart is better than not having known love at all. I know Cosette would see it that way too.”
“I pray you are right.”
He glanced toward the sound of Cosette’s voice. To his dismay, he couldn’t spot her in the crowd with her family, as they all had dark hair and violet eyes. The blur of similarities melded together in his hazy vision.
A gentle hand touched his shoulder, and he sighed in relief as he placed his hand over Cosette’s. He didn’t have to see her well to know it was her.
“My father will materialize us home,” she said, and to his surprise, she placed a daring kiss to his cheek. “I hated seeing how much the carriage ride pained you on the way over here.”
“Lucian is too kind. But I suppose he would have to be if you inherited so much from him.”
She didn’t answer for a moment, and guilt filled him when he realized her silence indicated her tears. She was trying not to show him, but he knew better.
She cleared her throat. “Would you like to receive any of our well-wishers?”
Receiving well-wishers would take a vast amount of energy, and he had none left to give. His pain was too great. His fragility was too great. This was goodbye. “No,” he answered, trying not to betray his own emotions, especially as he thought of his sister. “Any who wish to see us may visit tomorrow. I especially hope Laurel understands.” But there would be no tomorrow. Adam and Dracula were too late. And he couldn’t say goodbye to Laurel. He wasn’t strong enough.
“I’m sure she will. Let me tear Leif away from Jesper, and we will be off.”
A moment later, a small voice cried, “But I want to stay and play with Jesper!”
He chuckled to himself. Cosette would certainly have her hands full when he was gone. But if she said she was up to the challenge, then he believed her.
She somehow managed to coax Leif into leaving, and when Lucian joined them beside the altar, he whisked them away. Moments later, he found himself lying on top of his own bed at the estate.
Leif started to jump up and down excitedly on the bed as Lucian approached, his expression solemn. He kept his voice low as if he didn’t want Cosette to hear. “If it isn’t too much to ask, Oriel… May I stay the night? I would like to be of help if I am able.”
“Yes, you may. We have a guest room made up. Shall I fetch Mr. Chaplin—”
“No, I am highly capable of doing it myself.” He opened his palm to reveal another one of Zachariah’s elixirs. “I doubt it will help much, but I hope it can take the edge off.”
He nodded gratefully and took the vial from him. His fingers shook as he brought it to his lips and downed the contents. He braced himself for the taste, but a sweetness greeted his tongue instead.
Lucian’s lips twitched knowingly. “Willow created the elixir this time. I think she would make a fine physician if she ever chose that route.”
“Adam hasn’t returned.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He had to know for sure.
“No.” Lucian sighed. “He hasn’t.” He lowered his voice even farther as if to hide his words from Cosette, who had taken Leif away to dress him for bed. “What you have done for my daughter is more than I could have ever asked for. I’ll admit I was doubtful of this union. I know my daughter’s disposition. I know courting her is not easy, as I’ve witnessed many males give up before they even tried. But you… You have put a smile back on her face and laughter in her heart. If only for a couple of months, I hope you know you have done her a great service.”
He swallowed hard against his building emotions. “I am heartbroken I do not get to keep her longer. She is the most delightful female I have ever met.”
A large smile spread across Lucian’s face. “I had only hoped she would find someone who could see as much. It seems all my prayers have not gone to waste.”
Lucian grasped Oriel’s wrist, though it was not a vampire greeting but a vampire goodbye. And then he left the room. However, only moments later, Leif ran inside and started jumping up and down on the bed until Cosette sternly told him to get down.
“Can I sleep in your bed with you again?” Leif asked as he tugged on Oriel’s sleeve.
He raised his eyebrows and glanced toward Cosette. “Again?”
She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and stared at the ground. “You were sound asleep. I didn’t think it would bother you.”
“It’s not to happen again. It’s a bad habit. Leif, you are to sleep in the nursery.”
The boy tugged on his sleeve, his eyes wide and a pout to his chin. “Just this once?”
“Just this once will turn into one more time which will turn into never getting a peaceful rest again. In the nursery you go.” Leif’s chin quivered, and Oriel found he did not have the strength to turn him away on their last night together as a family. Finally, he sighed. “Just this once.”
“Thank you, Papa!” He jumped up and cuddled next to him. He was surprised when Leif fell asleep quickly. Children could fall asleep that fast?
“He is quite taken with you.” Cosette sat beside the bed and wrung out a cloth filled with steaming hot water. The heat helped soothe his aches when she laid the cloth over his forehead. “He will be even more taken with you when he sees your transformation.”
His only response was a smile.
“I love you, Cosette,” he whispered, as he reached out and lightly trailed his fingers across her jaw. “So very much.”
She caught onto his hand and kissed his palm. “I love you too. Now rest. All will be well.”
He closed his eyes. With his son tucked into his side and his mate’s loving, tender fingers trailing through his hair, he knew one way or another, all would certainly be well.