Chapter 66 Shadows of the Past
SERA
I discovered Kael in the vault two weeks after the assassination attempt.
The Sanguine Vault. Where dangerous things were kept. Where the First had been sealed.
Where harmful stuff was kept. Where the First had been sealed. I asked.
"Thinking."
"About?"
"About how many times have you almost lost her. How many more times we will." His voice was hollow. "I am tired, Sera. Tired of fighting. Tired of wondering when the next threat appears. We're sick of seeing our daughter grow up too quickly since she can't be a child in this world."
I moved beside him. "So what do we do?"
"I do not know. Keep fighting? Give up? Lock her away and pretend the world does not exist?"
"None of those options work."
"I know." He looked at me. "I am sorry."
"For what?"
"For dragging you into this. For bonding you to me. For making you a target. For giving you a daughter who carries more weight than anyone should." His hand found my face. "You could have had a normal life. A human life. You could have died peacefully at eighty surrounded by children who were actually children. Instead, you are here. Immortal. Hunted.
Bound to a man who only poses a threat. "Stop." I grabbed his wrist. "You did not drag me anyplace. The bond happened. We dealt with it. And I would not trade this—would not trade you or Nyx or any of it—for a peaceful human death."
"Why not?"
"Because this matters. Because we are changing things. Because our daughter is proof that monsters can choose to be better." I pulled him closer. "You are not dragging me anywhere. We are walking together. Toward whatever comes next."
"Even if what comes next kills us?"
"Even then."
He kissed me. Soft. Sad.
As if he was learning the flavour by heart. I love you, he said. "I do not say it enough. But I do. Completely. Desperately. In ways that terrify me."
"I know. The bond tells me every day."
"The bond is not enough. You must hear it, please. Need you to know that if I could go back and change anything, I would not. Because altering the past will result in your loss. And I cannot survive that again."
"Again?"
"Elena. I lost her because I was not fast enough. Not strong enough. Not willing to sacrifice enough." His eyes went black. "I will not lose you. Or Nyx. Even if I have to burn every kingdom. Even if I have to become the monster they think I am. I will not lose either of you."
"You will not have to. We are stronger than threats. Smarter than enemies. And more stubborn than fate." I kissed him again. "Now stop being dramatic and come eat dinner. Nyx made dessert and you know how she gets when we are late."
We walked back upstairs. Together. Like always.
Dinner was chaos.
Nyx had indeed made dessert. Something involving chocolate, blood oranges, and magic that made it sparkle. It tasted incredible and possibly deadly, but we ate it anyway.
Arianna joined us. Less ghost-like now. More solid. The curse was manageable. The guilt was not, but she was learning.
"I am leaving tomorrow," she said.
I froze. "What?"
"I am going to the Shadowlands. To Rowan and his people. They need help organizing. Need someone who understands power and rebellion and compromise." She looked at me. "I need purpose. Something beyond carrying guilt and waiting to die."
"You could stay here. Help us."
"I would just be a shadow of you. Literally." She smiled. "But out there I can be myself. Can build something new. Can maybe make up for some of what I destroyed."
"When will you be back?"
"Next month. For Nyx's birthday. I promised." She looked at Nyx. "You will be eight. Ancient."
"Practically decrepit," Nyx agreed.
"Before you go, will you teach me more time magic?" she begged Arianna. "Please? I don't know a lot of things.
"Tomorrow. Dawn. We train until I leave."
They did. I watched from a distance as Arianna showed Nyx things I could not. How to walk through frozen moments. How to see threads of time connecting everything. How to touch them without breaking them.
Nyx learned fast. Too fast. By midday, she was doing things Arianna said took decades to master.
"She is remarkable," Arianna said when they finished. "Terrifying. But remarkable."
"Will she be okay? With this power?"
"I do not know. But she has you. That is more than I had." Arianna looked at me. "Take care of her. Push her. Love her. Do not let her become what I became. Powerful but alone."
"I will not."
"Good." She hugged me. Brief. Awkward. "Thank you. For letting me be family. For not giving up on me. For saving me when I did not deserve it."
"You always deserved it."
"Perhaps. But knowing and believing are different." She pulled back.
"I'll see you next month."
After the sun went set, she left. Heading south. To the trees and the rebels, and a chance to be more than just the broken me.
That night, Nyx couldn't sleep.
I noticed her on the balcony, looking up at the stars. What are you thinking?
I asked.
"Grandmother Arianna. How lonely she was. How broken."
Her expression was one of intense contemplation. "Is that how I'm going to end up?" "No." "How do you know?" you ask, because you have our support. Why? Because you aren't shy about expressing how you really feel. Why? Because you are avoiding repeating her errors by studying her examples.
I sat next to her.
"You are powerful. But you are not alone. That is the difference."
"What if you die? What if something happens and I am alone?"
"Then you have Grandmother Arianna. You have Lyra. You have Theron. You have dozens of people who love you." I pulled her close. "But we are not dying. Not yet. Not for a very long time if I have anything to say about it."
"Promise?"
"I promise to fight. To survive. To be here as long as possible." I kissed her head. "But Nyx. Even if something happens. You will not be alone. Love does not end with death. It stays. In memories. In lessons. In the way we shaped you."
She was quiet. Then nodded. "I understand."
"Good. Now sleep. Tomorrow we have council. And I need you sharp because the eastern kingdoms are sending another ambassador and they are going to try to negotiate taking you back for training."
"Not happening."
"I know. But we have to be diplomatic about refusing."
"Diplomatic is boring."
"Diplomatic keeps us alive."
The next morning, Ambassador Thera returned. With demands.
"The princess must resume training. She lost control once. She will do it again. Better she learn with us than destroy your capital."
"She is learning here," Kael said. "Under supervision. Under control. She does not need your training."
"She needs guidance from those who are not emotionally compromised." Thera's eyes were fixed on me. "You love her. That makes you weak. Makes you unable to push her when necessary."
"I push her every day."
"Not hard enough. Or she would not have frozen three thousand people."
The room went silent.
Nyx stood from her small throne. "I froze three thousand people because I was scared. Because I was alone. Because no one told me it was okay to fail." She walked toward Thera. "But I fixed it. I learned from it. And I am better now because my parents taught me that mistakes are not endings. They are lessons."
"Pretty words from a child."
"Powerful words from someone who can stop your heart without blinking."
The colour reddened Nyx's eyes. People who are more concerned of my abilities than my identity have had enough of judging me. Thus, I present my response. No. I refuse to work alongside you. I refuse to leave the house. I refuse to show my worth to kings who seek to imprison me.
"Then you risk another incident."
"Then I risk it. But at least I risk it with people who love me instead of people who fear me."
Thera was quiet. Then she smiled. "Very well. But when you lose control again, and you will—do not expect our aid. We warned you. We offered help. You refused."
"I accept those terms." Nyx returned to her throne. "You may leave now."
Thera left. Furious but defeated.
The nobles whispered. Some approving. Some are horrified that an eight-year-old just dismissed an ambassador.
Kael looked at me. Something like pride in his eyes. "She is definitely your daughter."
"She is ours. That is the problem
We survived the council. Barely. Half the nobles wanted Nyx sent away. Half wanted her to stay. All of them feared her.
That night, I found a letter on my pillow.
No seal. No signature.
Words alone were enough to turn my flesh to ice.
A monstrous creature, the princess with half-blood. There was no truth to the prophecy. There will be no escape from her if we do not intervene.
We are coming. And this time we will not fail.
I showed Kael. He read it twice. Then burned it.
"More threats."
"Different threats. This handwriting is educated. Noble. Someone inside the court." I looked at him. "We have a traitor. Again."
"We always have traitors. It is part of ruling." But his jaw clenched. "I will have Lyra investigate."
"And meanwhile?"
"Meanwhile we prepare. For war. For whatever they throw at us next." He pulled me close. "We survive. Like always."
"I am tired of surviving. I want to live."
"Then we live. Together."
He kissed me. And for a moment, I pretended that was enough. That love could shield us from threats. That family could protect against fate.
But I knew better.
The storm was coming.
And this time it would not be assassins or ambassadors.
This time it would be worse.