Chapter 16 The Price of Forever 1
He left.
I looked at Kael. At his wound still healing too slow. At his eyes that held centuries of pain and the faint hope that maybe, finally, things could be different.
"You do not have to do this," he said. "I will not ask you to give up your humanity for me."
"You are not asking. I am offering." I squeezed his hand. "But I need time. To think. To read. To understand what I am agreeing to."
"Take all the time you need."
"Even if it kills you?"
"Even then."
I opened the book. My mother's handwriting covered the first page.
To my daughter, if you are reading this, then I am dead and you are facing the same choice I faced. Know this: the sacrifice is worth it. Love is worth it. Do not let fear stop you from becoming what you were born to be. The world needs you. He needs you. And you are stronger than you know.
Tears blurred the words.
My mother chose love. Chose my father. Chose me.
Could I do the same?
Could I choose Kael?
Outside the tent, dawn was breaking. Light creeping over the Shadowlands. A new day.
But for how many more days did we have?
The answer was in this book.
And I was terrified of what I would find. The bond would not let me do anything else.
And I was terrified of what I would find.
I read the journal by candlelight while Kael slept.
His breathing was shallow. Wrong. The wound in his side had closed, but something was broken inside. Something the bond could not fix, and my blood could not heal.
The curse was eating him from within.
I turned the pages, reading my mother's careful notes: her research and her fear.
Day 47: The ritual requires three components. Shadowborn blood. Draeven blood. And the heart of something willing to die for love. I do not understand the third part. What creature dies for love? What sacrifice does the prophecy demand?
Day 52: I think I understand now. The heart is not literal. It is metaphorical. The sacrifice must be willing. Complete. A choice made freely to give up everything for another.
Day 58: I cannot do it. I cannot become fully vampire. Not when it means losing the part of me that can walk in sunlight. That can bear children.
When my time comes, I can pass away quietly. Being immortal is not a blessing, but a curse.
Day 63: It's awful to watch him die slowly, though. I adore him. The king before Kael. The man who was kind to me when no one else was. Given my ability to save him, how can I allow him to suffer?
Day 71: I've decided what to do. I'll carry out the ceremony. I'll become the person I was destined to be. If that's what makes me a monster, then I'm a loving monster. Things can get worse.
The last entry was dated the day before the rebellion. Before soldiers came. Before everything fell apart.
She never got to perform the ritual.
She died still human. Still mortal. Still capable of hope.
I kept reading. The ritual itself was on the last pages. Written in blood instead of ink.
The Binding of Shadows and Blood
Performed under a new moon when darkness is absolute.
The Shadowborn heir must drink from the Draeven king until his heart stops.
The king must drink from the heir until transformation begins.
Both must survive the joining, or both will die.
Warning: The transformation is agony. The heir will feel herself die and be reborn. She will lose her human heart. Her human soul. What remains will be something other. Something ancient. Something powerful.
She will be immortal. Invulnerable. Bound to the king forever through magic deeper than blood.
But she will never again know sunlight. Never bear children. Never die.
This is the price. This is the sacrifice.
Choose wisely.
I closed the book. My hands were shaking.
Never see sunlight. Never have children. And never die.
Lose everything that made me human for a man I had known for less than two weeks.
Insane. Stupid. The worstpossible decision.e. Yet my heart refused to back down, torn between dread and devotion.
"You are thinking too loud."
I turned. Kael was awake. Watching me with those red eyes that saw too much.
"How long have you been listening?"
"Long enough." He sat up slowly. Wincing. "You read the ritual."
"Yes."
"And?"
"It's a nightmare. I have to kill you. Drink until your heart stops. Then bring you back." I threw the book at the tent wall. "What if I mess up? What if you stay dead? What if I can't bring you back?"
"Then I die. But you tried." His voice was steady. Calm. "That is more than I deserve."
"Stop that. Stop acting like you are not worth saving."
"Am I?" He stood. Walked to me. "I destroyed your family. Made you an orphan. Turned you into this thing you are becoming. Why would you sacrifice everything for me?"
"Because I love you, you idiot."
The words lingered between us. Raw. Honest. Terrifying. Vulnerability surged inside me, followed by a fierce, unspoken hope.
Kael looked at me as if I had stabbed him. "What?"
"I cherish you. I shouldn't, but I do." I grabbed his shirt. "You're bloody, heartbroken, and ruthless. But you're mine. The bond says so. My heart says so. When I can stop it, I won't watch you die."
"Sera—" "No.
"You don’t get to argue. I know it’s a bad idea. I pulled him down. Kissed him hard. "But I’m still doing it. Better to lose my humanity than you. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me as if I were the only thing that kept him upright. Perhaps I was.
He muttered, "You will hate me," against my hair. Maybe it was true. The weight of his dependence was almost grounding, giving me something to hold onto amid the terror.
"You’ll hate me," he whispered. "When it’s done. When you can’t see sunlight again or have the life you deserve. You’ll resent me."
"Probably. But I’ll resent you forever. That counts."
He laughed. It sounded broken. "When?"
"Tonight. The new moon is tonight. We do it before I lose my nerve."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But I’m doing it anyway." I drew back. "Promise me something."
"Anything."
"If I survive, promise you’ll treat me as your equal. Your queen. Not your property." My hands framed his face.
"You always were. The bond just made it official." He kissed me softly. "I promise."
The tent flap opened. Rowan stood there looking grim.
"We have a problem."
"Another one?" Kael's voice was flat.
"Theron is back. With reinforcements. A lot of reinforcements." Rowan's jaw clenched. "He brought the entire northern army. Two hundred vampires. Maybe more. They are surrounding the forest."
My blood turned to ice. "When?"
"They will attack at sunset. Three hours from now." Rowan looked at me. "Whatever you are planning, you need to do it fast. Because we cannot hold against those numbers."
Kael grabbed his sword. "Then we fight. Buy time for the others to escape deeper into the Shadowlands."
"Or we do the ritual now," I said. "Break the curse. Make you strong enough to fight them."
"The ritual requires a new moon. Darkness. We do not have that until tonight."
"Then we improvise." I grabbed the journal. "My mother wrote alternatives. Modifications. If we can create enough darkness, channel enough power, maybe we can force it."
"That could kill you," Kael said.
"Doing nothing definitely kills you." I looked at Rowan. "Can you hold them off for an hour? Just one hour?"
"Maybe. If we are lucky. If they do not, just burn the forest down around us."
"Then make them not want to burn it. Tell them the king is here. That he is willing to negotiate. Theron will want to gloat before killing us. Buy us time."
Rowan nodded and left.
Kael grabbed my shoulders. "This is insane. The ritual is dangerous enough when done correctly. Modified? Under time pressure? You could die. You probably will die."
"Then I die trying." I kissed him. "Stop wasting time arguing and help me prepare."
We worked fast. Clearing the tent. Drawing symbols from the journal on the ground in ash and blood. Setting candles at the cardinal points, even though they would not help until dark.
Rowan came back. "Theron agreed to talk. But he wants proof that the king is alive. He is sending someone to verify."
"Let them come. But no weapons. No magic. Just verification." Kael did not look up from the symbols he was drawing.
"And Rowan? Thank you.
For everything."
"Do not thank me yet. We are all probably going to die." But his voice was softer. "Good luck. Both of you."
He left.