Chapter 30 — April

I was in the apartment, packing and looking for a train or bus ticket to go back home. As soon as I got in, my phone chimed, and I thought it was Luke. No, it was my bank account notification to say I had a deposit. A big one. Thousand’s of worth from Luke.

He was paying me off like an expensive hooker. Hundred big ones, double what we offered in the first place. Was that all I was worth to him? I wanted to tell him we agreed fifty thousand to go to the wedding, the one that we clearly weren’t going together. But, I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk to him again, there was just no use.

This meant I had enough money to find a new apartment, but I didn’t want one. I'd had enough of L.A.. I just wanted to get out of here and find my way back home, where I belonged. I should have left a long time ago.

It was funny because Dean the doorman was no longer working here. Apparently, he received a big check from Luke, and he could pay his wife’s medical bills and retire like he’d wanted to do for the last five years. I was happy for him, but sad at the idea of not seeing his reassuring smile every day.

I never should have got attached to this apartment, not in a million years. It wasn’t mine, but I liked living here. I enjoyed having my own space and the option of getting a degree. I looked up a course at the local community college back home and I decided between work at the diner and squeezing in evening classes, I could do both.

I sat in on the couch, debating whether to book a bus or a train ticket back home. A plane ticket would make more sense, but I wasn't ready to face the family in a hurry. Years of being in L.A. and going back home, with my tail between my legs felt like the only option at the moment, but I needed time to do this. If I got a bus, then it would give me time to face the humiliation and deal with being back there.

The buzzer sounded which meant I had a visitor.

My heart skipped a beat as I thought about Luke coming to see me and wanting to know if it is was okay to come up, then we would run off to the sunset get married and have kids. Lately, I’d been watching too many Hallmark movies whenever I had some free time. Something that I never used to have before and I’d become a hopeless romantic. Taking a breath, I pushed the talk button.

“Hi, who is it?” I asked without hesitation.

“It’s Stephanie Price and … what did you say your name is again?”

"Send them up, please.”

I was glad the girls were here. At least I could tell them I was going back home and explain why. Oh no, I hadn’t even changed my clothes since I came home from work. I’d only been in the apartment less than three weeks, but considering I came with one small suitcase, it was crazy to think how many things I’d accumulated in a short space of time. I’d been shopping with the girls and even Elisa sent me a few things.

Shoot! How selfish of me, I hadn’t even contacted her in the last couple of weeks to thank her, but then again I did it nearly every day since I joined the company and now it was over. I wanted to be the one to tell her I'd been sacked and explain the situation. She said I shouldn’t let her down and I had done exactly that.

At a knock, I opened the door.

“Baby girl, don’t look as if the world’s come to an end,” Stephanie said as she stepped inside and Vanessa followed in after her with two wine bottles.

My mind was stuck on Elisa and thinking about letting her down.

I began to cry.

Vanessa hugged me, which was hard with a bottle of wine in each hand. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Her words reminded me I hadn’t been listening to my daily speeches from Nelson since I was kicked out of my apartment. Maybe this was part of the reason I had completely lost my way.

“Nelson. I used to listen to his quotes to every single day.” I pouted as Stephanie took my hand and led me to the sofa.

“You told us, you loved him, but you shouldn’t let a little setback like this put you in a mood,” Stephanie said as we finally sat down on the couch.

“You going somewhere?” Vanessa asked as she pointed to the cases.

I nodded. “Yeah, back home.”

“Uh-no, you’re not going back home. You’re going to work for me,” Stephanie said.

“Luke agreed?”

I felt as if there was some good news on the horizon.

Her expression changed from a smile to a frown. “Not quite. But he will. You shouldn’t just give up. I mean you been in the city for how long?”

“Four years.” I sighed. There was a time, I knew the exact day and hour I’d been here, now it was as if it was a distant memory.

“She’s not running away cause of the job. I know that look too well. She's lovesick. You're lovesick, aren’t you?”

I nodded again with tears stinging my eyes, there was no denying it. I was leaving more because of Luke. I’d completely lost my way since working with him and I didn’t even think about my dreams of working in education anymore. All I could do was think about him.

“You should have seen when he left the office. He looked like some lovesick puppy,” Stephanie said.

Vanessa dug through the kitchen cabinets looking for glasses for the wine she’d brought.

“We’re going to drink and you’re going to tell us all about it.” Vanessa said juggling three glasses and one of the bottles of wine. “Start from the beginning and take it one step at a time. Okay?”

I nodded and prepared to tell them everything, including the crazy roommate, which reminded me I needed to call Officer Brently who was involved in the case. Maybe he had a lead or like me, he’d completely forgotten about it.

* * *

Seeing as I did some of the talking and at times they laughed their heads off and drinking at the same time. I wasn’t tipsy, I decided alcohol was the root of most of my problems as I explained everything to them. Most of the time, I seemed to got intoxicated to deal with things, and Stephanie couldn't get over our blind date.

“What a messed up blind date? I wonder if Luke’s been back to the joint?” Stephanie laughed.

“I doubt it. I did ask when he stayed over, and he said he would never go back to 71 again.”

“I wouldn’t,” Vanessa agreed. “And that was his favorite restaurant. That must hurt.”

“Yeah.” I fidgeted with the lace on the bottom of my shirt.

“I remember Kim, she was a piece of work.” Stephanie took a sip of her wine. “A bitch-and-a-half. I can see she hasn’t changed, I don’t know what he saw in her.”

“Sex!” Vanessa giggled. “Whenever you question—what does he see in her or what does she see in him, it’s because one of them is good in bed and it’s not the partner you think it is. It’s the other one.”

I disagreed. “Not everything’s about sex.”

Stephanie raised an eyebrow and Vanessa slowly peeled off her white blazer and then traced her hand up her body.

“You’re telling me if Luke didn't get you excited and hot,” Vanessa huffed. “You wouldn’t be looking as if you’ve been caught out in the rain.”

Stephanie asked, “Are you telling us if he didn’t make you cum over and over again, then you wouldn’t want him every night to keep you warm?”

“Hot!” Vanessa corrected her as they both purred and made sexual noises as they approached me.

“Does he have big hands April?!” Stephanie put her hands up my legs.

“Does he have a big cock? Did he make you cum over and over again?” Vanessa liked her lips.

“Stop it.” I pushed them both away. “I don’t believe sex is the reason I am so attracted to Luke. I didn’t have sex with him on the blind date, and I was attracted to him. Go figure!”

I stood up, placing my hands on my hips, thinking I’d figured it all out and they knew nothing, nothing at all.

“Oh, baby girl, you still have a lot to learn. If he didn’t match up to your fantasy and have those sexy full lips which are unusual on a white man, or those biceps and those big hands and cock. You wouldn’t be sitting here crying about him. You would be getting on with things, your life wouldn’t be so empty. But when a man satisfy your fantasy that's when you start crying, you’re not only thinking about how he consummates you on an intellectual level, but on a sexual level too and to get a guy to fulfill you every day of the week is what every woman really desires,” Stephanie said.

I shook my head at the idea of it, but the more they talked about it, I knew they were right.

“The first guy I dated was terrible at kissing and I remember thinking, if he can’t kiss properly then there’s no point in doing anything else, “ I said as I recalled my Prom date at high school.

“See, I told you she was a late starter,” Stephanie said to Vanessa.

In my defense, I was going to say eighteen wasn’t a late starter for a first kiss, but I was lying to myself and certainly to them as they guided me back to the sofa.

“Then the guy I dated before I came to L.A.. He was a great kisser, but whenever we were just about to do it, he would get all greedy and it was all about him. I kept putting him off and when we finally did the deed, it was easier to walk away.”

“He was only about pleasing himself?” Vanessa asked.

“Exactly.”

“Now, drink and then we’ll get some food in and you can tell us all about Luke’s big hands and his big dick,” Stephanie said.

I put my finger to my lips. “A girl never kisses and tells.”

They threw pillows at me and the idea of leaving the city was too much to bear. I wanted to be here with them, and Luke. But the latter wasn’t an option, I had to go home. When I thought about what I'd lost, it just broke my heart. I wasn't falling for Luke, I was in love with the man, whether he was good in bed or not was irrelevant because I’d fallen hard and there was no turning back.