Chapter 44

The rest of the week went by quickly. Dawson and I decided not to reject each other yet, but both agreed that we do best as friends. He can be with his girlfriend. I would never stop him from being happy.

Reese asked me to stay away from Rowen until after we came back to school. He was able to remove the spell, but he thinks it will take a couple of weeks to fully wear off. He doesn’t know how many times the spell has been placed on him.

I trust Reese, even though he wouldn’t tell me much about the spell. All he told me was that it made it so every time Rowen saw me his wolf would take over. Anytime he was around me, he wasn’t fully in control. I’ll explain it to Aunt Violet and see if she knows more about it.

I gave in and let Drake drive my car home, while I rode with Ryker and Ezra. Their worried about me and I understand why. Besides, I’m thankful that I didn’t have to drive. I took the time to think about everything that has happened the last couple of weeks. I’ve been trying to make sense of it all.

I don’t know who would want to hurt me or why. I know it’s possible that someone saw my magic. A lot of supernaturals are power hungry. If someone thought I was more powerful than them, it could make them want to hurt me.

I won’t ignore the possibility, but I really don’t think that’s it. The incident with the vampires felt more personal. I don’t know why, but it felt like they were after us for who we are, not what I am.

I still haven’t heard from Creed. It’s driving me crazy, and I can already feel my magic stirring more than usual. I miss him like crazy. With him being gone this week, I noticed that it’s more than that. I need him. For whatever reason, he keeps me grounded.

He may confuse me and drive me crazy, but things also seem clearer when he’s around. His phone goes straight to voicemail every time I try to call him. I'm starting to wonder if I’ll ever see him again.

I feel like a complete failure. I went from having three mates, to none, and I’m still not any closer to figuring out what this mark means. No matter what happens, I won’t give up. I’ll figure it out, somehow, someway.

It feels good to be home. I missed my family, but it feels kind of weird being back in my room. I’ve been trying to go to sleep for hours, but all I can think about is being wrapped up in Creed’s arms.

I don’t know where he is, if he’s hurt, or if he just plain used me. My own thoughts are driving me crazy.

I looked over at my clock again. It’s 2AM. I really need to sleep, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon. My stomach started rumbling. One good thing about being home is mom always has the best snacks.

I snuck downstairs as quietly as I could and started searching the cupboards. Cereal it is. You can never go wrong with lucky charms.

I can hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I smiled. I should have known dad would hear me. He wakes up so easily, sometimes I question if he even sleeps at all.

“Hey kiddo, what are you doing awake?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “I just can’t sleep.”

He nodded, “mind if I join you.”

I shook my head no. I know he’s really saying I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s bothering you, so you might as well start talking.

I smiled as dad poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down across from me. He’s in this for the long haul, and neither one of us are going back to bed until I tell him what’s wrong. I can’t hide it, he always knows.

“I’m so confused, and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.” I blurt out.

“So, let’s talk it out. What’s bothering you the most.”

“I had three mates, and now I feel like they’re all gone, and I’m completely alone.”

“I’m sitting right here, so we know that’s not true. You will never be completely alone. How do you really feel about Dawson and Rowen? You told us earlier that you were rejecting them.”

“Dawson and I are better friends. I know rejecting each other is the right thing to do. He has a girlfriend that he’s in love with, and I had Creed.”

Dad nodded, “The key word being had.”

I looked down at the table before lifting my head to look him in the eyes. “I miss him. I’m nervous that something has happened to him. He won’t answer his phone, and I don’t want to accept that he used me.”

“So don’t accept it. Bella, you're strong. You don’t back down, and I know you don’t give up. Did I ever tell you why I didn't want you to replace me as gamma?”

I shook my head, “no, I just assumed it was because of how close the boys are. I know how important it is for the ranked members to be able to trust each other with their lives.”

“That’s true it is important, but that’s not why I chose Ryker. You’re meant for more Bella. I know it and so does everybody else. I’m not talking about your powers. I’m talking about the women you have become. As much as I want to keep you my little girl, I know that I can’t stop you from reaching your destiny.”

He took a deep breath, “let’s be honest, you haven’t needed me to protect you or to solve your problems in a long time, but you still let me try because you knew that I needed it.”

He smiled at me, and I smirked back, “You’ll find out for yourself one day, it’s not easy to let go. You’re strong, you’re smart, and you’re capable of being more than a gamma. You’re a natural leader, and you have a way of always knowing what the right thing to do is. Even when no one else can see it. As wolves, we tend to react out of instinct and emotions, before we think. You were always different. You look at the full picture before you react. You’re the kind of leader we all need.”

I nodded, “I don’t feel like I’ve done the right thing since I left for college. I feel like I’ve done just the opposite.”

“When you’re doing the right thing for everyone else, sometimes you hurt yourself. Don’t forget to consider what’s right for you. I thought about everything after you kids filled us in. Especially how different your reactions are to situations. When Rowen broke your arm, I wouldn’t have thought twice about killing him. Kain and everyone else would have agreed with me. He tried to attack you. His death would have been justified, but you saw it differently.”

He cleared his throat, “you saw past his actions, and noticed that neither him nor his wolf were in complete control. Instead of killing him, you took the time to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it. The same thing with the vampires. Blood lust or not, they would have been dead. You took the time to fix the problem instead of reacting. Most wolves would have taken the opportunity to kill them just because their vampires and different.”

“That reminds me, Dawson kept telling me that there aren’t a lot of packs like Green Ridge. He said most supernaturals don’t get along with other species. It that true?”

Dad nodded, “that’s very true. You know this pack doesn’t share the same beliefs, but a lot of supernaturals are stuck on old beliefs. They believe their species is dominant and everything else is inferior. It’s kind of a joke if you ask me. I think their scared. Their scared that if they allow something that has different abilities to get close to them, it will make them less powerful. That belief goes all the way to the councils. That’s why all the species have their own separate council. It’s not right, but they will always side with their own species, regardless of the situation.”

I smirked, “so you’re telling me that if a wolf pack attacked a bear den and wiped out their den, the wolf counsel would say the wolves were right.”

I watched his jaw clench, “that’s exactly what I’m saying. The wolf council will come up with a reason as to why the pack was justified in their actions. Then the bear king would retaliate, and the cycle continues.”

I lowered my eyebrows, “that’s horrible. They would blame the bears just for being different.”

Dad nodded, “like I said, we don’t agree with that, but we’re the odd balls. That type of situation is how Green Ridge started. We can’t change their views, but we can at least make a pack that’s fair to everyone.”