My heart is racing, I won’t be exaggerating if I say a thousand beats per second. My breath shortens, and my lips slightly part. So I can excess sufficient oxygen. The moment prolongs and it feels like hours have been spent standing in the same miserable position.
Yet, Noah keeps on looking at the screen. He might have found something. Hope sparks in my body and I do a little victory dance in my head. Before I can be met with further Great Expectations from this tragic life, the camera breaks!
Noah smashes the camera, with full force towards the wall. It shatters into tiny pieces. Something I could never fix back to life. His eyes drift from the wall, slowly towards me. Meeting my eyes. Our gazes lock and I tremble in fear.
“ There was fucking nothing in the clip. “ He remarks, eyeing me cautiously. His manner of speaking was quite crude to me. Devoid of any gentleness.
There I see Sophia smirk at me. She must have deleted it! Before I can say further, I am cut in between my lines. As always.
“ Sophia must have deleted it, right? That’s what you’re gonna say. Emma we really do not have time for your pathetic games. We are adults trying to work unlike you who’s job is to play around. Also, what did you say? You’ll never show me your face again? “ He insults in a taunting manner. Making me look down, why does he always embarrass me like that?
“ Is that what you want? “ I ask with a croaked voice. Tears falling down, my lips dry. My legs barely supporting my body. I lost, again!
I look into his eyes, and I see regret? No, that’s not possible. I must be imagining. He is devoid of it.
“ Yes, you’ve cheated on me. I’ve lost my interest in you. The little amount of curiosity I had for you…you darling filled it quite well by spreading your legs for me. Rather than the meaningless sex, you had no purpose in my life. I was just fooling around and now I’m bored. I used you for your body, you mistook it for love. Not my fault. Now the contract is almost over. “ He points out, his words well pronounced, without a worry in the world. Why would he even bother about someone like me?
“ But you said you loved me. “ I croak out. My voice is breaking, feeling absolutely pathetic.
“ Men have the tendency to whisper such things during sex. Did you take that for real? But I will give credit to you, you are fucking tight and it was amazing to screw you. A quality whore I’d say. “ He laughs, finding it all really funny. Ruining the image of other men too.
Those crude words coming out of him had me really questioning. Was he the same Noah that promised all those sweet words to me? A love lasting for eternity? Or were they just words filled with nothing but lies and deception?
He opens a drawer, gets the piece of paper out that I so despised in the beginning, and tears it away. He continues to further shred it into tiny pieces, one that can’t be glued nor put together. They become tainted forever, impossible to restore back t their original state.
“ There, it’s done. You’re no longer my… Whore. Be happy. “ He remarks. Those were his last words to me.
“ I truly loved you, Noah. I hope no one lies to you, the way you did to me. Because then you wouldn’t be able to take it. “ I whisper, my head hung low. Life drained out of me. The adrenaline rush I had in the morning, completely vanished.
I took tiny steps towards the elevator, afraid I might stumble and fall. I reached the elevator with heavy steps and without looking back, I went out.
I decided to walk my way. It was going to be a long walk home.
“ Lucas, it’s me, Emma. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to do what you asked. I…He broke up with me. If you can even call it that. I was just a slut for him, and now he’s tired of using me. That’s the end of our story. I’m really sorry, I won’t be able to do it. “ I sent the voice mail.
I didn’t have the energy to call him, nor answer his questions. During my walk back home, I contemplated.
Where did I go so wrong to end up like this in life? 18 and heartbroken. My chances of making it out seemed very scarce.
I had loving parents, but they both died. Leaving an 18-year-old me to look after Tim. I had to drop out of school, it was hard to give up on my ambitions.
Looking after Tim, I forgot about myself or that I had a life too. He was the sole focus of my attention. His medical bills, his education or if we will even have a roof on our heads.
It didn’t really matter what I did, or what job I took. My life came to a full stop long ago. And you know what?
Despite trying so hard, I always end up failing. I don’t think I’m able to give him all the love and attention a child needs. I leave him all alone in that house but I have no one I can trust on. And I couldn’t stop working either. I’ve had very limited choices in life.
My eyes drift to a bunch of girls, probably my age. Sitting at a café, so carefree. By their outfits, I can guess they're pretty rich. With some branded handbags beside them, chirping about all the stupid things in life. Sighs, why couldn’t I be them?
Do they have to worry about their future?
Or the bills of their house?
Or the thought that they might be failing as the adult of the house?
Did they also have to drop out of college at 18?
Did their parents get snatched away from them?
Have they been craving a little love just like me?
Have they ever felt down in life like I do right now? And if they did, what did they do.
Oh, the answer is simple, they never felt that way. Because they had people to look after them. While I was completely alone, desolate and deserted, so miserably alone.
I reach home, with all these bitter thoughts in my mind. I look up to see a car parked. I recognize it to be Lucas’s. But what is he doing here?
“ Lu..Lucas, what are you doing here? “ I ask with blurry eyes. My vision was a little defective due to all the shedding. My throat was extremely dry and an aching pain inside my heart.
He is going to scream at me, and maybe even threaten me for not doing his task.
His facial expression changes to one of worry. Seeing my broken state he rushes towards me.
“ Shush..what’s wrong Emma? Stop crying. “ He says, trying to console me. In the process hugging me warmly. Total opposite of what I expected.
“ He...He br…bro…broke up..with m..me. “ I stutter, this emotional pain acting as a barrier between any word-formation.
“ Hey relax, it doesn’t matter. I got you, stop crying like that. It’s not the end of the world, even if you feel it is. Your life will still go on. “ He says, some words of wisdom but to a moron like me utter foolishness.
“ He sa..said I was only a who..whore. He got tired of using me. I thought…I thought he loved me. I was so stupid…for believing him. Girls like me shouldn’t have such dazzling dreams. “ “I whisper, still clutching on to him tightly. My tear-filled face damping his costly suit.
“ You’re not that… And we both know it, Emma. “ He states, his words strong, and for him holding complete meaning.
“ I don’t know that…I don’t know anymore. “ I whisper.
“ Doesn’t matter Emma. I know that. “ He states with determination.
His eyes stride down, and he sees the broken recorder in my hand. The tiny pieces of glass had punctured my skin, causing blood to flow. Though I was way too lost to feel any physical pain at the moment.
“ Your hands are fucking bleeding Emma. “ Lucas, exclaims. His blue orbs go wide with distress on seeing blood flowing so idly through them, whereas it doesn’t bother me much.
“ It’s not like I’ll die. “ I whisper, still lost.
“ But you can get an infection. Do you have first aid in your home? “ He asks, and I shake my head positive even though my life is going negative.
He grasps my forearm and drags my carcass.
He leads me to my own house and makes me sit on the sofa.
“ Where is it? “ He asks, about the first aid.
I point toward my bedroom. Where I kept a frame of me and Noah. I’ll have to put that away too. Since all the pictures do is lie. We looked so happy and in love. But that’s far away from reality.
Love is nothing more than ephemeral lust.
He brings the first aid and tends to my wound gently. I don’t wince, something I normally would do. Maybe he is way too tender, or I am way too numb.
Finally, when he is done with bandaging me, he takes the camera.
“ Hello, Ronny. Get the best tech guy. I need to get something repaired and at no cost should the data inside get lost. Make sure he doesn’t tamper with the data or I’ll make sure he doesn’t get another chance to do so. Make this very clear. “ Lucas speaks, with a hard tone. His kind and gentle nature, instantly disappearing. A dominant aura surrounding his masculine figure.
Soon a man comes inside and takes the recorder away.
“ Let’s get your mood right. What do girls do after a breakup? Eat a lot of ice cream and watch movies? We can even bitch about Noah if that’s what you want. I’ll start, his dick’s as small as my finger.” He jokes, trying to lighten the mood but the atmosphere itself is quite tense.
He decides to switch on the TV. A news channel was on the list.
“ The playboy Billionaire, one of the most eligible bachelors is no longer single ladies. Yes, we are talking about Noah Enrique. He has announced his engagement with supermodel Sophia and soon will be tying the knot. Can you imagine the lucky girl? “ The news reporter shrieks.
I see a bunch of pictures of Noah and Sophia popping up on the screen. From the many pictures, I see one in which he is holding her gently. His hands snaking around her waist. Their bodies intermingled.
Their heads slightly touching, their eyes meeting. Stuck in an unworldly state of their own.
“ She is my soul mate. I can’t imagine a life without her. “ The TV plays an old interview of theirs.
Then who was I? His plaything, his mistress? My heart shatters at the revelation.
Tears start pouring down.
“ Fuck this TV. I spent so much time trying to make you stop crying and then this bitch ruins it all. “ Lucas bellows, kicking the TV in a state of fury. Getting his own pent-up anger out on the inanimate. The TV falls down and the screen cracks. The noise echo in my ears, muting all other forms of voices out.
I was no one to him.
The little amount of curiosity I had for you, you darling filled it quite well by spreading your legs for me.
He had said, breaking our love.
Did you take that for real? But I will give credit to you, you are fucking tight and it was amazing to screw you. A quality whore I’d say.
He had said breaking my trust.
You’re no longer my… Whore. Be happy
He had said, finally breaking me.
His words chiming in my head. Just then, the front door creaks open, making a sharp pinching noise.
The man comes back, with a fixed recorder. Lucas opens it, hastily. Desperate pile me. Wanting anything that can help him stop the marriage.
But what he sees shocks both of us. Something I would have never expected.
“ Emma, Sophia indeed mixed something in his cup but the video was never deleted, to begin with. “ He informs.
My eyes going wide. Lines forming on my forehead out of sheer confusion.
“ Then that means Noah knows everything! “ I exclaim. My problems only heightening.
Noah saw the truth, yet is willingly marrying Sophia? I don’t get this. Something has to be wrong.
Just then Lucas breaks down into a deep, dark chuckle. The one that lacks humor.
“ Noah is playing a game of his own
“ He comments, with an evil smirk on his face. Coming to understand his friend’s motives very well.