Chapter 72

“Hi, good morning. By the way I am attorney Sarah Connor, CPA and your husband sent me here.” She smiled at me.

Huh? Why there is someone like her here? What’s Enzo’s plan?

I invited her in my office.

“I already look at your financial statement and you have huge losses and your trusted employees and they might stealing that’s why you this kind of big losses.” She should me the folder that she had been holding.

“I will be your accountant in your business.” She said.

I was stunned.

“Your husband will charge me for this matter and I will be in charge in legal business matter and financial stuff.” She smiled at me.

She introduce herself to me and she talk a lot of things and I decided to visit my warehouse and all my employees are news and I even got a business advisor and managers.

I don’t know what to react, Enzo helps me a lot in my business and I don’t know what did good to him.

They told me that he was the one giving them salary, he is helping me big time.

I realized my wrong doing. I am teary eyed.

I need to apologize. He’s doing things for me, he cares for me.

"That your fault e ma'am, I told you, just try to love and open your heart to sir Enzo. He's still smart, like his twin. ” Kiray preached to me.

I go home because I feel I need someone to talk too.

I only talk to Kiray in this house and the cat.

“Of course sir Enzo feel hurts to what you did. You are still his wife. Even you, if you saw Sie enzo kissing someone you will get mad, it’s still a sign respect of the marriage and respecting each other, if the two of you hav agreement that you can do whatever you want and to have a third party then it is fine to have mistress but you didn’t any one.”

“Stops being a flirt madame, you only have a one heart so probably have one man in your heart.” Kira scolds me.

I look at Kiray and she gave me a sign peace, she knows on how to talk back to me because she was the only one whom I can talk to.

“I feel that sir Enzo like you.” She added while caressing the cat’s head.

“Look at sir Enzo, he is kind and he was the one giving your employees a salary.” you know what? You don’t deserve him because I deserve him, heart heart!”

I tried to call at Enzo but he is not picking up his phone.

The amount of food I bought from him and I never ate. I annoy him but he really doesn't have a paw. He must be angry with what I'm doing to him.

I throw the box of cheese when Enzo left me in the kitchen.

I am so feeling annoyed and I followed him in his library. I slam the door and face him.

“Enzo!” I angrily said his name.

“I am going to tell this to my dad if you still ignore me!” I threaten him.

He stops from what he is doing.

“I’m not ignoring you Chandria.” He answered exhaustedly.

I stare a him and didn’t answer anymore.

“I’m tired” He’s shutting me down.

“I am going with Keran!”

“Okay.” He shrug.

I became angrier to his answer.

I can’t stops crying in front of him, “You are so bad! You are neglecting me! I am about to give birth but you don’t care about me! I hope you are not the father of my child!”

I don’t know why I did said those words to him.

“Yeah, I wish too,”he suppress a smile on me, “so me and Keran wouldn’t fight anymore we still have a good relationships. You haven't visit him.” He said emotionless.

I was stunned.

“I already told you Chandria, if you want annulment I can give it to you right away just don't slap in my face that you really love Keran. Please at least respect our marriage.” He said coldy.

Malamig na sabi niya sa akin.

“I’m sorry.”I cried.

“Don’t be, I know you love him.” He bitterly smile at me.

“I thought it’s easy to love a person who’s deeply in love with someone else.”

“Enzo…” I plead.

“Keran told me that you’re going with him and stay in his house.” he put down the ballpen, “you can go, I won't stop you. The annulment will be in his house tomorrow. My secretary will deliver it tomorrow morning.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his ear.

“I won’t go anymore to him , i regret it.” I cried harder.

“It's fine with me, Chandria. You don’t need to feel guilty.”

Why he is not calling me the endearment the he used to call me?

“Ezno sorry.. Please talk to me… I don’t understand myself and I already feel guilty to the things that I had done. Trust me, months wit you I lose my care for Keran and I am not thinking about him anymore.” I wipe my tears, “maybe I love you…”

I stilled.

“You can’t unlove Keran that easily.” He chuckled sarcastically.

I came closer.

“I thought of it too.” I hold his hand she just let me.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at hinayaan niya lang ako.

“Because with you I feel safe and I can’t sleep at night without you in my side. I don’t understand it, but when you started to ignore me and didn’t pick me up at the house and not showing at me, I feel hurt.” I sobs.

Enzo heaved a sighed and he stand.

I run away from him again yesterday and waited him to come to me but I waited for nothing.

“I do not want to see you cry. I got mad to Keran not you, okay?” He said softly and wipe my tears.

“But I think, I am starting to love you.”

He smiled at me.

“You need to think of it. You don't need to say it, okay? You should sleep.” His coldness has finally remove and he is concern again to me.

I harshly remove his hands on my cheeks.

"Do not you love me? Did you love me even a little? Because when I'm with you, all my worries are gone, I feel like I'm in a safe place because you're there next to me. You fix my problem in my business and I don't think about anything anymore. ” God! What am I saying.

“These emotions, I never felt these towards Keran. Please believe me..” I beg.

“Did you love me even a little or have crush on me?” I am hoping.

He is looking at my eyes.

“Enzo!” I shook his shoulder, “ I am not yet sure to my feelings towards but I am sure that I wanna be with you until I grow old. Don’t you want me.?”

Instead he answered me, he kiss me.

—------

“Damn it, Kyle Cyan!” I heard mommy said my name.

She’s mad at me again. When she didn’t get mad at me?

“Cyan!” she shouted my third angrily.

“Yes mom?” Tamad na tanong ko sa kanya.

“You!” She inch my ears.

“You used the mustang again, you bastards!” She slapping my shoulders.

“You like your third brother! You are burden on me and my headache!”

“Mommy! My ears!” She pinch my ears again.

“Ma, it’s my birthday today.” I frowned.

“Yeah it is your birthday today, we are going out and fix yourself!” She said angrily on me.

What a nice gift I receive from this old woman who keeps on nagging all day long.

“We are three again.” I said sadly.

Sometimes they are not here and I am all alone.

“Brother are not going again and you, you bring your friends again.”

“Eh, what do you want to happen then? We are just three in the house!” She’s about to eat me alive.

“I don’t want to go momo! I wanna stay here in house!”

It’s October 31 and it’s my birthday. What a clownery.

“You! Don’t play with your gadgets and I am going to get them!”

“When it comes to me it’s always prohibited and when it comes to my old brother, it’s always a yes!.” I said seriously.

“You are a Favouritsim!” I acted cool in front of her and hide my real emotions.

“Of course they are already enough and they have their own lives! You! Fix your life! And you only gave me a headache! Break up your girlfriend that is selling a banana cue in the field!” Mommy shouted at me angrily.

It’s so hard to be a young, the oldies are trying to control for my life and they are the one who’s deciding for me don’t they let their children make a mistake and learn from it?

That’s why I wanna get old fast so I can do whatever I want in my life. All I want this coming christmas is love and freedom.

I am not really happy.

“She is not my girlfriend!” I shouted back.

She doesn’t like that woman because she is selling a banana cue field and I don’t have achievements yet, why my brothers can have a girlfriend when they are in my age?

If I didn’t broke up with the banan cue she will break us apart and and she will embarrass that woman in front of many people.

She doesn’t me to like that woman because of our social differences and gap status.

Mom is not obvious to this one but, she value the money more than me. They didn’t give me time. Sometimes I am thinking to run and have a family and work.

Damn it, she is always scolding me and everyday this is the scene.

“I don’t want to you to see her again!”

“Okay, then don’t!” I shouted and entered my room and slam the door.

\

“Aba Cyan, you rascal!” Mom knock at my room. She can’t open my room because I hid the key.

“Okay, lock yourself there and we won’t go anymore!” She shouted back and walk out angrily.

If you are younger you don’t have the rights to speak and talk back to the oldies and we are always wrong and never did a right decision and act. Does it mean that we are younger and we don’t have the rights to decide and do the best that we know for ourselves?

Mommy only wants that I follow her, how about me?

I laugh, she never listen to me, she never listen to my beg and she only looks at my wrong dong.

In her eyes I did nothing good.

I texted my brother and friends.

Friends? Do I have one? I can count on my friends in times of needs.

I stare at the ceiling.

Why they didn’t gave birth to me early so I am already working.

If you don’t have a work no one is proud of you.

All I want is freedom.

All my siblings are busy with their lives.

Brother Kienzo is busy with his wife because they are moving house and getting married again. I hope it's all for brother Kienzo.

Brother Enzo is busy with his wife because she is about to give birth.

Kuya Keran is crazy, I can’t contact him.

Why did I feel so lonely?

I Have a lot of siblings, but why do I feel alone? Why do I feel like no one loves me?

They never spend time with me. I Always beg and ask for their time and attention for me.

I need some love too.this seem gay to say.

I chuckled inside my brain.

I just wanna end my life.

My doesn’t have value. I am alone, they don't love me.

No one will cry if I died.

I cried when their hurted words echoed in my head.

Maybe it’s true that I am useless. All I did in my life was a mistake and a sin.

What’s my purpose in this world? I don’t have the energy to wake every moring because the cycle goes on.

I am feeling sad.

I can’t take it anymore.

I wanna die

It’s so dark here.

And darkness gave me comfort.

Kyle Vladimir Cyan Velasco