Chapter 29 MOTHER'S LOVE
Wednesday morning arrived rather quickly. Vivienne stood by the kitchen window and watched the water run down the glass. Noah was sitting at the table behind her, eating his cereal.
The interviews for the babysitters were set for this afternoon. Three people that Mrs. Chen had suggested, all of whom had great references and years of experience. Vivienne had read their resumes the night before, going over their certifications and childcare philosophies until the words all blurred together.
None of them were good enough. She couldn't trust any of them with her son.
She knew that was not logical, though. Mrs. Chen had checked out these qualified professionals who had safely watched over dozens of children over the years. There was nothing wrong with them.
Vivienne was the problem. She couldn't imagine leaving Noah with anyone else and saw danger in every shadow and threat in every smile.
"Mom, I need to get ready for school," Noah said. His spoon hit the empty bowl.
Vivienne turned away from the window. "Okay. Yes, of course. Go brush your teeth."
He got up from his chair and walked down the hall, leaving Vivienne alone with her thoughts and the sound of rain on glass.
That morning, Noah got dressed, Vivienne packed his lunch, and gathered his backpack and coat. The drive to Westbrook Elementary was quiet. Noah could tell how his mom was feeling and didn't talk as much as usual.
He unbuckled his seatbelt when they got to the parking lot, but he didn't get out of the car right away. Instead, he turned to look at her. His dark eyes studied her face with a creepy level of detail.
"You're not okay," he simply said.
"I'm okay, baby... Mommy's just tired," Vivienne stammered.
"You keep saying that." Noah played with the strap on his backpack. "But you don't look okay. You've been like this since we left the park on Monday. I know you are still afraid of your new job. But why? We already practiced being brave."
"I'm not—" She stopped herself. She had promised him that she wouldn't lie to him and that she would always tell the truth, even when it was hard. "Okay. I'm a bit worried about it. But you don't have to worry about me."
Noah was quiet for a while, and then he said, "Mom, things can be scary, but you do them anyway because they are important."
Vivienne felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I know."
"So all you have to do is be brave, right?" He said it with such simple confidence and faith in her ability to handle whatever was coming.
She reached over and awkwardly hugged him over the center console. "When did you get so smart?"
"I've always been smart. You just didn't notice." His voice was muffled against her shoulder, but she could tell he was smiling.
She kissed him on the forehead and let him go. "Go ahead. You're going to be late."
He got out and swung his backpack over his shoulders. "Mom, I love you!"
"Baby, I love you too."
She watched him run toward the school entrance, his coat flying open even though she told him to zip it up. He waved back as other kids waved, and he was instantly drawn into the social life of elementary school.
Vivienne sat in the car for a few minutes after he went inside, her hands on the wheel and her mind far away.
At 2:00 PM, the first babysitter showed up right on time.
Vivienne couldn't stop looking at Rebecca's nose ring while they talked. She was twenty-three years old and had light blue streaks in her hair. She had worked with kids ages six to twelve for two years and had great references from three different families.
"I easily connect with kids," Rebecca said, sitting on Vivienne's couch with ease. "I think it's because I remember what it was like to be that age, you know? The world is so big and confusing. All you need is someone who is willing to listen instead of talking down to you or scolding you for every little thing."
Vivienne nodded and wrote on the clipboard in her lap. "And what would you do if Noah had a bad dream? He gets them sometimes."
"I would comfort him and make sure he felt safe. To help him go back to sleep, I would read him a story or talk about something happy." Rebecca smiled. "Kids need to know that adults can handle the scary stuff, so I'd stay calm and reassuring."
That was a good answer. Actually, that's a perfect answer.
But all Vivienne could think was, She's too young. What if Noah wants a nose ring like hers? What if she invites her friends over? What if—
"Thanks for coming in," Vivienne heard herself say. "I'll get in touch."
Rebecca's smile faded a little. "Oh. Okay. If there's anything else you want to know, I brought more references if you want to call them."
"That's not needed. Thanks for your time."
Vivienne sat on the couch and looked at her clipboard after Rebecca left. She hadn't written much during the interview, just a few random notes that didn't give any useful information.
At 3:00 PM, the second babysitter showed up.
Jennifer was thirty-one, married, and had two kids of her own. She had been a professional babysitter for almost ten years. She was calm and capable, and she answered every question with thoughtful, detailed answers that showed she had real experience.
"Structure is important," Jennifer said. "Kids do well with routine. Before Noah could use any screens, I would make sure he finished his homework. I would also ask him to help with small tasks like cleaning up his toys or setting the table. It teaches responsibility."
"And what about his emotional needs?" Vivienne asked, noticing how sharp her voice sounded. "What if he's upset about something? What if he asks where I am?"
Jennifer didn't flinch. "I'd listen, and I'd acknowledge his feelings without dismissing them. Something like, 'I know you miss your mom, and that's okay. We can do something fun together until she gets home.' The secret is to validate and distract."
Another great answer. Another person who obviously knew what they were doing.
Vivienne, on the other hand, kept thinking about things that didn't matter. Jennifer's shoes were dirty. She had said "my kids" three times, as if having two kids made her an expert on Noah in particular. She laughed too loudly.
"Thank you for coming," Vivienne said, and the interview ended. "I'll give you a call."
Jennifer looked surprised but nodded politely. "Of course. If you have any questions after this, please don't hesitate to call."
Vivienne had planned to have the third babysitter come at 4:00 PM, but she called to cancel before the babysitter even got there.
"I apologize," she said to the woman's voicemail. "Something came up. Thanks for your interest, but let's cancel the interview for today."
She hung up and sat at the table in her kitchen, looking at her phone.
What was wrong with her? Two very qualified people had just left her apartment, and she'd found reasons to reject both of them for problems that existed only in her own paranoid mind.
But what if she actually did the right thing, she thought.
For all she knew, they were still strangers, and with a blackmailer out there, this was a sensitive time to trust anyone else with her son.
She had to think this through.
In the quiet apartment, alone, Vivienne thought of her next course of action.
She only had a few days until she resumed at Hunt Enterprises.
She was running out of time.