chapter[45]

chapter[45]
CHAPTER 45
Selena.

I was filled with an overwhelming anger that Noah was leaving today. It struck me like a bolt of lightning, electrifying my entire being, and I couldn't shake the feeling. Since the day we met, we had never been apart, and the very idea of spending even a single night alone was unfathomable. I couldn't imagine being in our bed without his warm chest to lean against and his strong arms wrapped securely around me. The thought sent waves of dread crashing over me. I was furious at him for not letting me join him for whatever business he was heading off to. I felt like a prisoner in my own home, confined by rules that felt increasingly suffocating.

My mind became a breeding ground for evil thoughts, each one darker than the last, and they roamed around in my brain, conjuring up the worst nightmares imaginable. I couldn't help but picture him having an affair, being unfaithful while I sat at home, waiting anxiously for his return. Was that why he hadn’t allowed me to accompany him? My imagination spiraled out of control, creating scenarios that left me feeling both anxious and betrayed.

In a desperate attempt to shush away my bad mood, I grabbed a book from the shelf, hoping it would distract me. But I soon found that I couldn’t concentrate at all. The words blurred together, and the story I tried to immerse myself in slipped through my fingers like sand. My mind was puzzled and restless, and even the idea of writing down any new book wasn’t available to me. I felt stuck in a mental fog that wouldn’t lift.

I decided to call Ahmet, my only close friend. He always knew how to lift my spirits. Luckily, he answered on the first ring. "Hey, what's up?" he said cheerfully, and I couldn’t help but grin at his voice.

He yawned, sounding groggy. "Good morning, sis! What's up? Something wrong?" His sudden concern was palpable, as if he had jumped out of bed the moment he saw my name on his screen.

I sighed deeply, trying to mask my frustration. "No, it’s okay. I'm just alone and feeling so bored. I just wanted to talk to you." My voice came out softer than I intended.

Ahmet hummed thoughtfully. "Okay, where's Noah?"

I replied in a sad voice, "He’s gone on business abroad. He will be back after a few days, I guess. At least I hope so." I explained to him, feeling the ache of loneliness settle deeper in my chest.

He chuckled lightly, trying to brighten the mood. "Then I guess I should get up now and be with my dearest sis. I won't be late."

"Wait a minute, how about Steven? He won't get mad?" I asked, curiosity piqued. Ahmet and Steven had been together for eight months now, and I had always respected their relationship from a distance. Steven had even asked Ahmet to live with him. I didn’t interfere in their relationship, but they seemed like a real couple to me. Even Steven didn’t bother me at all, treating me as if I had never existed, which was a surprisingly great feeling.

Ahmet laughed, "Steven won't mind at all. He is sleeping now. Don't worry. At least I'm giving him a break to miss me." His playful tone made me laugh back, easing some of my tension. After our conversation, we hung up, and I felt a little lighter.

I took a long, hot shower to help rest my mind for a while. My back was already killing me; it wasn't easy at all to carry three kids in my tummy, especially since I was in the last month of my pregnancy. I felt a mix of excitement and anxiety about having our complete family with our children soon.

It felt like God was trying to compensate me for all I had lost—my parents and my best friend Pamela. I knew that having my kids wouldn’t erase the memories of them; I would never forget them at all. My heart ached for their absence, yet I was filled with hope for the future.

Noah and I were doing great together, despite the recent challenges. I admitted that lately, I had become picky about food and my temper was awful. I found myself yelling at him almost every day over the smallest things. But he swallowed my anger with his lovely attitude and caring nature. I knew that no one else would ever treat me or deal with my anger as he did.

I was sure that he wasn't a normal man who could accept someone commanding him to change. I had feelings, but I didn’t let my thoughts drown me in despair. Instead, I prayed for him to never go back to whatever he did before meeting me. I wanted him to remain the man I had fallen in love with, the man who cared for me and our future family.

An hour had gone by while I was taking my shower, lost in my thoughts. The maid helped me get out of the tub and dried my wet body for me with gentle care. She was so helpful and loved me as if I were her own daughter. That's why I offered her the position of nanny for my children. We had many maids, but she was the closest one to me, the only one I truly trusted.

She always lectured me, just like my deceased mother used to, about how to treat my husband and manage the household. She trained me on how I should deal with my kids as well. I loved her presence next to me; it brought me comfort and stability in a world that often felt chaotic.

After she finished dressing me, another maid came up to my room to inform me that Ahmet was waiting downstairs. My heart leaped with joy at the thought of company. I rushed to meet him, feeling a wave of happiness wash over me; I wouldn’t have to stay alone any longer.

I wanted to go out, but Noah was strict about me not venturing outside without him, even with all those guards around me. I wasn’t in the mood to break his rules or make him worry about where I was, especially since he had informed me he was in the middle of very important business meetings. I didn't want to ruin his mood, especially not after he had canceled so many meetings just to stay nearby me. I wanted him to focus on his work—he was the man in charge of our family, after all. He wasn’t just an employee; he was a very successful businessman, and his schedule was always full of obligations.

"Ahmet!" I squeaked happily as I spotted him. My loud voice made him startle and turn his body toward me.

"My princess, I missed you," he chuckled, running toward me and enveloping me in a tight hug. I knew he missed hugging me since Noah had prevented him from touching me at all. But I missed that feeling of having a little brother nearby. Although he wasn’t younger than me and we were almost the same age, I always treated him as my younger sibling, not even as a brother.

I pulled away from him and grabbed his hands to walk along with me until we reached the garden. I sat down on a chair and asked him to sit down on the ground beside me. "Hey, ugly, give me your back. I want to brush your messy hair," I smirked, teasing him. He had decided to grow his hair until it almost reached the middle of his back.

He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Tell Steven he was nagging about not cutting my hair. He wants me to look like a girl." I laughed, running my fingers through his disheveled locks.

"Sweetie, you do look like a girl without making your hair grow longer," I mumbled, unable to resist teasing him further.

He hissed playfully, "Okay, what about going shopping?" he asked out of the blue, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

I shook my head hesitantly, missing our shopping trips together. "Um, I don't know. I think we should wait for Noah." I was torn between my desire to spend time with Ahmet and my need to respect Noah's wishes.

He turned his head to me, giving me puppy eyes, his tone pleading. "Please, please, sis."

I couldn’t turn him down. I nodded reluctantly. "Okay, but let me change my clothes first." I told him, and I grabbed my cell phone to call Noah for his permission. But then I remembered that he had said he would call me when he was free, so I backed off from calling him. I left my cell phone on the chair and stood up to get ready.

After I got dressed, I returned to find something weird happening. I spotted Ahmet doing something with my cell phone. He was hunched over, and I waited to see what he was doing, my curiosity piqued. But in a few seconds, he was done. I coughed lightly, walking towards him with a faked smile, wanting him to tell me what he had been doing, but he didn’t say a word.

I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled in my stomach, but I decided to give him a chance. Maybe he was just calling Steven or something benign like that, I whispered to myself, trying to calm my racing heart.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, his happiness infectious. His companionship was precious to me; he was the only one who knew almost everything about me. I relied on him to tell me stories later about my past when I would inevitably lose my memory. I just hoped that I would never lose it, but deep down, I knew that it would be sooner or later.

I commanded the guards and the driver to take us to the nearest shopping mall, and they hesitantly agreed. But they couldn’t say no to me either. We enjoyed every moment of our outing together. It took a long time since I was walking very, very slowly, almost dragging my feet beneath me. But Ahmet didn’t complain at all; he was always so considerate.

As we strolled, I felt a wave of hunger wash over me, and I realized Ahmet felt the same. He suggested that we could go to a new sushi restaurant he had heard about. I agreed, but then he made a surprising request. He asked me to leave the guards and the driver behind because he wanted to be alone with me.

"Ahmet? But why leave them?" I narrowed my eyes in curiosity, unsure of his sudden desire for privacy.

He huffed in frustration. "I can’t take it anymore. They watch every move we make. I just want to feel normal again. I miss our old days back in our country," he confessed, his voice tinged with nostalgia.

I missed those old days as well. I didn’t want to break his heart, especially since I could see how much he longed for that freedom. I nodded cheerfully, shrugging off my reservations. "I guess I can do it."

We left through the other exit of the mall and took a limo that Ahmet had ordered for us. Thank God it didn’t take long to arrive because my legs wouldn’t help me stand for long. As he said, in less than two minutes, we arrived at the restaurant. It was almost midnight, and darkness filled the streets, creating an atmosphere that felt both exciting and a little scary.

I asked him to order for us while I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I left my cell phone with him this time on purpose, wanting to bust him in the act. I wanted to know what he was thinking by using my phone without my permission. Yes, I hadn’t forgotten about that.

I sneaked a peek at him and, as I expected, he was doing something again with my cell phone. But this time, I didn’t budge. I waited and waited, my heart racing with anticipation. Then, without warning, I stormed toward him like a monster, snatching my cell phone from his hands.

I opened my mouth in shock, thunderstruck when I laid my eyes on what he had done. He had texted Noah from my phone: "She will never be yours, and this kid will never be born." What?!! I couldn’t breathe; my world tilted off its axis, and I stared at him in disbelief.