Chapter Fifty One

Part 1

"I'm not your friend and I'm also not your enemy so what am I?"

Let me tell you a story. A story about love. Hate. Desire. Obsession.

Xolo and Lindani have always been together. Everyone knows where there's Lindani then you'll truly see Xolo there with him. Shouting at Lindani with the loudest voice his lungs can be capable of. Everything is Lindani's fault. Even if he knows it was his own fault.

They both don't realise what they truly have. They both don't understand it. But they want to. They want to know why they can't leave without each other. Why they can't be in a room without being in the same place. Why they seem jealous of everyone who comes close to the other. Why they feel their hearts beating ever so fast when one is around.

This is a love story. A love story stronger than time. And stronger than even death.

***

Preface

Whose to say I can't love my best friend? Whose to say my best friend can't be my enemy too? Whose to say I can't be someone of great power in the society and still be in love with the same fool my parents had warned me against?

I love him!

He's mine!

I won't let him go….no matter what happens. No one can take him away from me. No one.

***

One: Ruby

Ever since childhood Lindani has always been quite a shy and silent boy. He has always just minded his own business in everything. He has never caused his parents any troubles. He only came with straight As. And nothing lesser than that. If he did trust him to go complain to a teacher or rather want a retest. Lindani might have been quiet and shy but he was trouble on two legs if he felt like he was wronged in someway.

To all though excluding his family to them he was just the sweetest boy. Nothing could change that for them. No one ever saw bad in him because who could ever suspect sweet Lindani of any bad?

"I am not lying mama! Lindani did it" a crying boy said persistently to his mother who kept on shaking her head. Looking at the boy as if he was the one guilty.

"I can't believe this" the mother shook her head. "I really can't believe that my own son. My own son can stoop so low as to lie about the pastor's son! You are stupid if you think I will believe this nonsense story you are telling me!"

The boy was desperately holding his hands together. Pleading for his mother to believe him. This was not his fault and he wasn't lying.

How would he make his mother believe him? Everyone in the village only loved and praised one boy. And that was Lindani Maseko. Nothing coming out of anyone would make things change.

"Fine!" He screamed at his mother. "Fine! If you don't believe me then I will kill myself. Since it's what you want right? You want your son to so you can keep on praising someone who's not yours right?! It is all fine. I will leave this world for him. This is too much!" He ran away from his mother after those words. Running to where he would end it all.

His mother still had her hands on her hips. Still not understanding what had just happened . Had she really accused her son wrongly? " But what he was saying didn't make sense. Lindani could never steal money from him. Xolo is the naughty one. He is the one who steals everything in this house. How can I believe him when he's like that?" She looked at the direction her son had just ran. "Nxim. He will go and come back . Once he's back he will truly explain what he wants from me. Does he want his mother to just drop down and die for him?"

She went inside the house. Deciding not to worry herself anymore about the matter. It was Xola who was involved in this so only stupid childishness could be expected from him. Nothing else.

*

Lindani sat down on the ground. He listened to the water running ever so relaxing down the river. He was about to close his eyes and enjoy the scenery if it weren't for the noise that followed.

"So you're here?! After you have made my life unbearable in that my house." Xolo shouted as he inhaled to regain some air. He had been running all the way here from his house. "I'm talking to you!" He shouted even louder when Lindani didn't pay attention to him.

Lindani spared a glance at him. "What are you shouting about?" He asked him ever so calmly and chilled.

This made Xolo even more angry. "How dare you ask me why I'm shouting! Am I shouting?!"

"You must be deaf if you don't hear yourself."

Xolo's hands turned to fists. "Lindani! I'm not going to tolerate you anymore!" He started to go to where Lindani was sitting and he threw a punch at Lindani. Lindani who only dodged it. Which made Xolo even more frustrated and angry. He kept on throwing punches and kicks. While Lindani didn't even get up from the ground he sat on. Just kept on dodging all of Xolo's kicks and punches. When this happened further and further more only Xolo became exhausted from his outburst.

His last kick made his exhausted body fall. He would have fallen on the cold ground had it not been   for Lindani's quick action of saving him.

This only led Xolo to be on top of Lindani. They both looked at each other. No words coming out of both of them. Just their eyes were communicating now. Xolo felt embarrassed and his cheeks were already shaming him by being evidence of his embarrassment. He wanted to get up. Needed to get up but it just seemed his body wasn't able to. It was just numb.

After a while of them being like that Lindani lifted Xolo away from him placing him to the ground. Xolo only looked at Lindani's back as he stood up. Xolo stayed in that position for a little while longer.  "It was all your fault that I lost the money. You kept on impressing Ruby with those DIY gifts of yours. I had to buy her something too. It's all your fault!"

Lindani might have heard or didn't hear Xolo's grumbles because he only shook his head as he left.

Xolo hit his head with his face. “ You're so stupid!" He scolded himself,“ You had to be blabbering all the nonsense that came out of your mouth”

There was no way he would get any respect from anyone if he continued to do what he was doing. Lindani would continue being the best at everything. And he would get Ruby as well.

***

Lindani got into his room. He had a big smile on his face. His thoughts were on the silly Xolo. The guy always made him laugh.

Xolo was way different than him. Xolo was the opposite of what he was. Xolo was reckless and he did a whole lot of mistakes at the heat of the moment. Unlike him who could do no wrong. Everyone expected him to be perfect. Everything he did had to be absolutely nothing but the best of all.

He sighed. "It was just how it was.” There was a huge difference between Xolo and him. Xolo was him. And he was himself. There was nothing that could change that.

Sometimes it made Lindani jealous of Xolo's freedom. And sometimes though he only laughed at Xolo's way of life. He was absolutely crazy. His thoughts went back to how Xolo was on top of him. What was that about? Why didn't he remove him soooner?

It was as if they both enjoyed the embrace. Which was impossible. At least in Lindani's thoughts .

***

Lindani was not the only one who was thinking about what had happened in the river. Xolo was so preoccopied by thinking  about the whole thing that he didn't even have the appetiteto eat his favourite meal that was right in front of him. Which surprised his parents.

"MamXala what has happened this time? Why is your son not eating?" His father asked his mother curious of his sudden silence and not eating.

His mother only looked at him. She personally thought it was because of the argument they had had before he ran out of the house. She didn't want to reveal that truth because it would just make her husband angry. Even though she always argued with her son it didn't mean she wanted him to get in trouble with his father.

" I'm going to sleep" Xolo announced after a while of staying still.

"What about the food?

" His mother now questioned worried that her son was actually going to go through with the plan of killing himself. Did he want to starve himself to death? " At least eat a little my son before you go to sleep"

Xolo looked at the food. The first time in his life he didn't want this food. Although he hadn't eaten anything since morning he didn't feel hungry. "I will eat it tomorrow. Goodnight"

He left the dining room. The minute he got into his room he held his hands to his shoulders. His state of mind in a puzzled state. He didn't know why he felt the way he felt but he just did. "It was only a fall"

If it was though why would he feel like this? Like he was suddenly strunken by thunder or something. It wasn't the fall that made him so anxious but it was the way Lindani saved him from falling to the ground. It was the way Lindani looked at him as he lay on top of him. It was unexplainable. He couldn't fathom it at all. He wondered if Lindani felt the same way.

"No!" He tied his often left wild dreadlocks. He went to stare at himself in the mirror. Staring at the appearance he hated the most. This appearance that made him look like a girl. He hated this. That's why he often just let his dreadlocks loose to hide this face of his. This unmanly and disgustingly pretty face of his. He wanted to look like everyone else but nothing he did ever made him look like all the other boys. It just became worse than before.

His biggest competition has always been Lindani. He was the one who always made his skin crawl. Because of the fact that he was always so calm. Too calm. He never showed reaction to any of Xolo's etics. The only time Lindani ever showed any reaction was when there was Ruby.

Ruby was a year older than them both. She was from the city. She had the most beautiful  eyes and she had everything Xolo wanted in a girlfriend.  But of caurse Lindani had to be one step ahead of him. Today though he wasn't angry because of that. He was angry at himself. At what had happened. To him it felt like betrayal. Betrayal made by his own self.

"Why didn't I move? Why did I let him be the one to remove me? Did I enjoy it? Being on top of him.  Ugh! I hate it! I hate everything!" He untied his dreadlocks letting the fall on his face. He liked it like this. He liked it covered up. So no one could see.

No one could see what he was hiding.

***