Chapter 17

Darcy arrived at her father's house just as they were having the birthday lunch, interrupting the celebration with her presence.

She kicked off her shoes and shifted from the entrance hall into the kitchen, trying not to cause too much of a distraction. 

'Attention seeker:' This was the word her stepsiblings used to describe her, and though her stepmother shushed them, she knew the younger woman thought the same as her offspring. She could tell by the curl in her upper lip and the lift in her chin.

'These people don't want me here,' she thought as they stopped and turned.

"Darling! So glad you could make it," her dad cried, placing his plate of food back on the counter and rushing over to kiss her.

Darcy smiled as he pecked her cheek, feeling the weight of their stares.

"What on Earth is she wearing?" she overheard Lance whisper to Ellie. They both made faces and snickered before delving back into the food.

Ellie was a chubby girl, despite the constant fad diets and new home gym equipment. Darcy would feel bad for her if she wasn't such a bitch about her all the time.

After her stepmother—Kristen—ushered her over to the plates and forced her to gather up some food, Darcy sat in the only free chair next to Lance.

He looked her up and down before asking, "What's with the new look?"

Darcy took a bite of her carrot baton before answering, giving her time to think. Still, her brain didn't come up with anything dazzling.

"I just figured it was time for a change," she lied.

"In other words, you've fallen head over heels in love with a goth... or a punk." Lance snickered, eyeing her clothing with unfettered disdain. "I can't really tell what you're going for with this."

"Not everything is about a guy you know," she argued weakly. It was about a guy, and he was spot on with his assumption. 

"Yeah, yeah." Lance rolled his eyes.

Lance was one of those guys who was neither ugly nor attractive, with no discernible features. He had no particular style or hobbies and wasn’t particularly smart either.

'You're boring,' Darcy thought. She looked over at Ellie who was grumpily stuffing cucumber sticks into her round cheeks. 'But at least you aren't fat.'

That was her mother speaking. She knew it as soon as she felt the thought skitter across the neurons of her cruelly wired brain.

'There are worse things than being overweight,' she told herself. 'And people are more than their bodies or their fat content.'

"Let's cut the cake," Kristen said. She picked up the two-tier extravaganza carefully, transporting it to the table. 

As they all began to sing happy birthday Darcy had to force herself to join in, though the cheer felt forced and her smile like rubber. When she'd hung out with Chester she'd been distracted by his bright chatter and the new surroundings of his home. She hadn't had a chance to stop and think. Now, surrounded by her dad and his new family, she felt alone and cut off. 

Their house was dull, with small, high windows and decorated with dark wood antiques. 

'Even the paintings are depressing,' she thought, staring at an oil painting of a ship wreckage.

With nobody to talk to, and nothing to distract her, her thoughts turned to Josh. 

"Can I borrow a charger please?" she asked her dad, who asked Lance, who huffed and sighed before getting up to find one.

"Thank you," Darcy said as she took it, trying not to sound sarcastic. 

"Drink?" her dad asked. 

"Water, please," Darcy asked as a reflex. 

Then she remembered Josh, and in a small act of defiance, asked for a diet cola instead.

As she pulled back the ring-pull, hearing it let out a sigh-like hiss, she felt a hole forming in the pit of her stomach. It grew out of nowhere, thick and fast, like one of those tornados in a disaster movie.

Taking a sip, tears began to form in her eyes, and she couldn't make her throat swallow.

Josh's face filled her mind's eye, and she knew she was going to cry.

'Hold it in,' she told herself. 'Don't ruin your dad's birthday.'

She spluttered, letting out a mouthful of cola and a croaking hiccup of tears. When all eyes turned to her, she found herself at a loss for words, so covered her face with her hands and ran to the bathroom.

The more she willed herself to quit crying, the more her eyes and throat burned. She tried to pin her eyes open with her fingers, but it didn't work—the tears still formed and gathered at her ducts, blurring her vision.

"I knew she'd ruin everything like she always does," Ellie was complaining.

"Yeah, why did we have to invite her?" Lance joined in.

"Come on guys, it's my birthday. Let's not have any of that talk today," her dad said quietly. 

Darcy couldn't help but notice Kristen's silence on the matter. She probably agreed with her children.

'Are they right?' she wondered. 'Do I always ruin everything?'

When her dad knocked at the door, asking if she was okay, Darcy told him she had something in her eye and would be out soon. It was an obvious lie, but there was little point in sharing her love life issues with this lot. She doubted they would care about her problems, let alone have any helpful insights to offer. It was better to keep it all bottled up for now and pretend to have a good time.

She washed her face, leaving her looking like a pale and pimpled mess, and quietly exited the bathroom. 

"This cake looks amazing," she said, joining the others. It was a ploy to keep them from asking any questions, and it worked. "Where did you get it?"

"Get it?" Kristen scoffed, making a proud face. "I made this monstrosity."

"Wow. It looks professional." Darcy smiled as she took a piece. She almost wanted it to taste bad, but as the soft frosting dissolved on her tongue, she found it was delicious—buttery and sweet with a hint of vanilla. 

'Not as good as Josh's mum's cakes,' she thought, and almost burst into tears again.

Watching them, seeing how happy her dad was with his new family—it made her wonder what was so wrong with her and mum. Why weren’t they enough to keep him? Part of her was mature enough to understand that the mechanics of adult relationships were multifaceted and nuanced, and the other side of her mind screamed in childish rage. If he hadn’t loved mum enough to stay, why marry her and have a kid in the first place?

"Your phone keeps bleeping," Lance told her, interrupting her train of thought.

When Darcy placed the half-eaten cake down on the side to check her phone, she noticed the look Kristen gave her. That 'don't you like it, you ungrateful little cow?' look.

"I'll finish it off later, so don't steal it," she said, flashing a friendly smile that seemed to confuse the woman.

The bleeping that she desperately hoped was Josh turned out to be Ted. He had replied to her text and started chatting to her as if it meant they were suddenly friends again, asking questions about her life.

"Yeah, everything is fine, College is great, and I'll meet you tomorrow," she replied to him.

Seeing no messages from anyone else, she put her phone down and tried to join in with the conversation, going with the flow and looking forward to bedtime. 

'Just a few more hours of this,' she thought, pretending to smile.

$ Chapter