Chapter 11

Sitting at home alone, Darcy decided the only option was to resort to her computer for company. She was having a moment. One of those silly moments where every shadow looked like a monster, and her imagination seemed determined to give them teeth and claws.

Every creak of the old house—settling, her mother would say—made her jump out of her seat.

'What's wrong with me?' she wondered, becoming grumpy. ‘And why does a house need to settle? Creepy old pipes…’

It wasn't like her to be so jittery and pathetic.

As she flicked through Netflix, she saw most of her suggestions were horrors or thrillers.

'That could be the reason why I’m so nervous.'

Instead of a film, she loaded up messenger. A couple of conversations were left open—one was Josh, and another was her ex who had re-added her for some reason. Just to chat he said—whatever that meant. They barely chatted when they were dating. It was more likely his new girlfriend had dumped his ass, and he was desperate to get an easy lay.

She frowned, seeing another couple of friend requests. Ryan, Chester and Angela had all messaged her to say hi.

Darcy smiled as she replied to them and made idle conversation with Chester when he started talking.

When she told him about her silly fears, he offered to come over and keep her safe, punctuating the sentence with a cute little emoji.

Darcy pulled her hands away from the keys as if they'd caught fire, her mouth open in horror.

"Oh no," she muttered. "He doesn't... like me... does he?"

As if the new friendship group she'd found herself in could get any more complicated.

For a moment, she considered taking him up on his offer. She wasn't attracted to him per se, but he was nice enough.

With a sigh, Darcy listened to herself. 

'Nice enough,' was not a reason to date someone. She longed for passion. Excitement. Real feelings. 

In her imagination, she was back in Josh's room, standing in front of him as he placed a hand on her belly. She relived the way he'd moved in time with her: up and down in the continuous movement of the plié.

Without responding to Chester, an idea formed in her tiny brain.

She opened up the chat with Josh and told him the same sad story she'd regaled Chester with—how she was scared all alone. Maybe he would respond in the same way, offering to keep her safe like a shining knight in armour.

"Grow up," he replied. 

Darcy stared at the screen; glad he couldn't see the sad expression of disappointment on her face.

"You're a grown woman. Act like one," Josh said. "And go and get a drink of water."

The water thing was weird, but she obeyed, downing almost an entire pint glass of water before returning to her computer.

"Done," she typed.

"Good girl," he replied: his standard reply. But this time, instead of making her frown, it made her smile.

“I have an idea to pass the time,” Josh typed. “Let’s play a game.”

“A game?” Darcy asked. “What sort of game?”

“Role play,” he replied.

Unsure what this was, she decided to slap the words into a search engine and hit return. What came up was cringy to say the least. The gist of it was, you would use words and actions contained in ** to denote actions.

“It’s just a bit of fun. I’ll start,” he typed. “We’ll imagine we are back in the canteen that time you sat in my lap.”

Darcy stared at her screen in anticipation. Her heart raced as she imagined what he might type, and she worried she might not be good at the game. How did one achieve success at the art of roleplaying? What was the end game in all of this?

“I can feel your heart racing, *I run a finger along your neck and gently push your hair behind your ear* Don’t tell me you’re excited by this?”

As Darcy read these words she blushed so deeply her face felt hot. It was like being transported back in to time to that awkward, horny moment.

Her hands danced about as she tried to think up a reply. What could she say to that? Did he want her to be honest?

Taking a deep breath, she bit the bullet and began to type.

“I’d by lying if I said I wasn’t…”

Her head cocked as she tried to think what action she would take in that situation.

“*I look down, hoping this isn’t a cruel trick designed to torment me*”

As she pressed send, she prayed he wouldn’t admonish her, or tell her off for playing the game wrong. It was embarrassing enough as it was.

He didn’t.

“Hmm, *I place my hands on your shoulders and spin you around to face me*, Do you want me to let you go?”

“No,” Darcy replied far too quickly. She dredged her mind for inspiration, thinking what she would do next. This role-playing thing was turning out to be much harder than she’d imagined.

“*I stare into your eyes, holding my breath in anticipation*”

“*I pick you up and sit you on the table and place a hand on each of your thighs, gently pushing him apart*”

Darcy’s breath quickened as she read the words and imagined the scenario in her head. As lame as it sounded, she was getting turned on by this nerdish game.

The role play game escalated, becoming increasingly steamy before the scene culminated in the pair having sex on the cafeteria table.

As Darcy typed the words she slid her fingers into the front of her panties, playing with herself while imagining Josh inside her. The game made it so vivid it didn’t take her too much effort. She came quickly, before guiltily rushing off to clean herself up. She’d never once masturbated at her computer screen before, and it made her feel dirty as well excited.

‘This is probably how guys feel when they jerk off to porn.’

As she chatted to Josh until the early hours, it occurred to her that she forgot to reply to Chester's offer. Checking the chat box, she saw he was now offline.

"Crap," she muttered. She was going to have to tell him she wasn't interested—a conversation nobody liked having with a friend. It wouldn't feel good but leading him on was worse.

By the time she went to bed, Darcy was no longer afraid. No supernatural monsters were haunting her home. All childish thoughts melted away as she slipped into bed and drifted off, thinking of him.

'Josh.'

He was final thought on going to sleep and her first thought upon waking.

'I can't wait to see Josh today.'

Images of his face and form circled her brain like a movie montage on repeat. He was literally the only thing she could think about. As she made her morning drink, she tried to make a coffee the same way Josh did. Instead of fetching a can of diet cola to take her morning pill, she poured a glass of water, thinking of Josh's weird water fetish as she gulped it down.

Looking through her wardrobe, she tried to find something Josh would like. Judging from how he'd peeked down her top, she guessed he was a 'boob man.' She selected the light, low cut top that best showcased her cleavage and teamed it with casual jeans and sneakers so she didn't look like a try-hard.

Getting it right was so difficult when it came to dressing as a woman. One wrong move and you could go from an ordinary girl to the Scarlett woman or a frigid school-marm. 

She didn't bother with breakfast, feeling full after her two drinks, and forgot to put any snacks in her bag. Food was an afterthought to Darcy, one that was often forgotten altogether. Her mother preached it was good to skip a meal sometimes. She said most people stuffed their faces with way more food than they needed, and that was why most of them were obese.

When she got to the gates, she saw her classmates waiting. Ryan and Angela greeted her with the same cheer as usual, but Chester simply nodded and looked away and Zara ignored her completely. 

She didn't care. The only thing that mattered was Josh.

As his mother dropped him off in the teachers parking area—something that wasn't really allowed—she leaned out of the window to wave at Darcy. "Hey, sweetie!"

"Hey, Ginny," she shouted back, earning her an evil look from Zara.

"You've met his Mum?" Angela asked. "Wow. None of us ever get invited to his house."

"Because it's miles away from you lot. I explained that. Darcy lives down the road from me," Josh said as he walked over. It was an exaggeration to say she lived down the road. The other side of town would be more accurate. 

Darcy felt her lips curl, happy he was lying to defend her, but realised she was smiling like a loon when she took note of her reflection in the window.

"Come on, quick, before the God Squad descends upon us," Angela said, spotting the conservative Christian group. Instead of turning away with the rest of the pack, Chester moved toward Jenny and her cardigan-clad crew.

"You don't have to listen to them," he told the young woman they were targeting. "I know it seems impolite, but you can tell them to get stuffed."

"Erm," the young lady coughed. "I think I might actually be interested in learning about this stuff."

Chester looked a little confused by this response. He clearly hadn't been expecting it.

"Then you should go to a proper church," Josh said, taking over. "One that doesn't hate gay people."

"Your church hates gay people?" the girl asked, a glint of disgust in her eyes.

"We don't hate gay people, actually, we have plenty of homosexuals who attend our church," Jenny said with a smug smile.

"Homosexuals who are out and proud, or homosexuals who are forced into a closet?" Josh pushed.

"Well... obviously they don't practise that lifestyle. They forgo it—" Jenny said.

"Why?" the other girl asked, hands moving to her hips.

"Because it's wrong. It's not what God wants..." Jenny calmly told her.

"Okay." The girl tore up the flyer and threw it, scattering the pieces over the carpark. "Fuck that."

"Why do you always have to stick your nose in where it isn't wanted?" Jenny seethed, aiming the question at Josh though it was Chester who'd initiated the exchange.

"Why do you?" Josh shot back. "Do you get a gold star for every member you recruit to your cult?"

As she watched Josh argue with the strange girl, she felt her smile stretch even wider. When Jenny caught her eye, her ugly face screwed up even further.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked.

"I'm just enjoying the free show," Darcy told her without giving it much thought. She was used to dealing with losers like Jenny. "I only wish I had some popcorn."

As her friends snickered, the other group decided it was time to back away. The males of the group puffed out their chests as they walked past Josh, making themselves look like ridiculous pigeons. Even stretched to their full height, with their heads pulled back and noses pointing to the sky, they were small next to him.

"I don't get it," she said. "Why would God care if people are gay or not?"

"He doesn't," Josh said simply. "The CC brigade is a bunch of brainwashed fascists."

Darcy nodded, though she wasn't sure what he meant. Asking him to clarify would make her look like an idiot, so she decided to file it in her brain under the 'google later' category.

As they walked, she spotted a couple of bits of the torn flyer caught on the bottom of his hoodie. Grabbing the fabric, she wafted them away and got a glimpse of his abs. Holding up his top, she stared for a moment too long. When she looked up at his face she saw his eyes were widened in horror.

The disgust on his face took her breath away, and the fabric slipped from her fingers.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I, e—erm, eh, there was something on your top," she stammered.

His face said he didn't believe her.

"Last was just a game. It doesn’t mean you suddenly get to touch me in real life," he uttered, smoothing down his hoodie. As he started to walk faster, making a point of putting distance between them, the sad truth dawned on her. 

'He still hates me.'

$ Chapter