CHAPTER 132 — The Argument  

CHAPTER 132 — The Argument  

Lisa's POV

“Leo!”

I leap up from my seat, fling open the door and chase after him. He’s already halfway to his car, keys in hand, and walking quickly and angrily.

“Leo, please! Wait!”

He doesn’t stop. Doesn’t even slow down. I can’t let him leave like that. you justlhadt bent and strignore your mind—we can't let him drive away thinking—

“Just stop!” I grab his arm as he is about to open the car door. “Please, just listen to me!”

He rips his arm free, turning around to me. The expression on his face—rage, pain, and betrayal all rolled into one—makes me take a step back.

“Listen to you?” His laugh is uneven, cynical. "I’ve been trying to listen to you for a week, Lisa. But you had nothing to say. Now you want to talk all of a sudden?”

"I know I should have told you sooner—"

"Sooner?" He shakes his head. “You should not have had any of that to tell me! You should have told me no when he called you. Should have blocked his number and told me. But instead—" 

He breaks off, jaw clenched. “Instead you’ve been sneaking around with him.”

“I wasn’t sneaking around—”

“What would you call then?” His voice elevates. “Secret phone calls? Secret meetings? You wouldn’t mind if I were lying to you about where I were?” 

“I haven't met him more than once! " I shouted out those words, a bit panicked. "One, Leo. That isn’t so much."

“That's enough once!" Neighbors' lights are coming on as he’s shouting. “Once is one time too many when you’re meetingup with your ex-husband behind your husband’s back!”

"I was going to tell you—"

“When, Lisa? When were you going to tell me? Should we know before or after we’re assisting with all that shit he wants to do?”

"I wasn’t going to help him!"

"Really?” He steps closer, eyes blazing. “Because that’s not quite the way it sounded on the phone. 'When shall we meet again?’ That is not you telling him to get lost. That sounds more like you telling him to go to hell. That sounds like you're planning another secret meeting!"

“It’s not what you think—”

“Then tell me what it is!” His voice here turns: "Tell me why my girlfriend has been lying to me for a week. Tell me why you’ve been talking to your ex-husband. Tell me why you’ve been trying to keep it from me so much!”

"Because I knew you'd react like this!"

The words stop us mid sentence and I immediately regret them. His expression hardened “Now I’m the one who should feel bad? I should feel bad for being angry that you’ve been lying to me?”

“That’s not what I meant—” 

"Then what did you mean by that?" He’s now stood so close that I can see the pulse in his neck, I can see what looks like anger and despair fighting through his eyes. “How on Earth can any of this be my fault? Tell me.”

“You know it’s ‘not your fault,’ I’m saying hastily, tearing up. “I just … I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to be angry—”

“Guess what? I’m depressed as hell! I’m so furious, I’m bruised and beaten, and I’m thinking that I don’t know who you are, right?”

"You do know me—"

Laughing cruelly again he says, “Do I? The lady I know wouldn’t lie to me. Wouldn’t shut me out. She wouldn’t meet with her ex-husband behind my back.”

"I was trying to protect you—"

“Protect me?” His voice went ominously low. “From what? From the truth? From what? That my girlfriend might still be a little bit hung-up on her ex?”

“How can you say that?” 

“Isn’t that all I am supposed to think?” He holds his arms out wide. “You talk to him. You talk to him. You’re hiding it from me. What’s the moral of the story, Lisa?”

“Like I got it wrong!” I scream now too, my voice faltering. “That I went about this the wrong way, but that doesn’t mean I feel the way I used to about him!” 

"Then why?' He draws even closer, his breath hot against my skin. "Why bother meeting with him? Why not just tell him to stop harassing you?"

"Because—" I hesitate, struggling for the words. "Because he said he needed to talk to me—"

"And you cared so much about what he needed that you lied to me?" His voice breaks now. "To put his wishes before our relationship?"

"That's not what went down—"

"That's exactly what happened!" He combs his fingers through his hair and tugs impatiently. 

"You picked him over me. You let him keep his secrets instead of being upfront with me."

"I didn't choose him—"

"You did!" Now he's shouting again. "You lied to me every fuckin' day this week. You preferred to protect whatever the hell is going on between the two of you, not US!"

"There's nothing going on between us!"

"Then why won’t you tell me what he wanted? " He's breathing hard. Now his chest is rising and falling. “What was so important that he must have you? What was worth lying to me for?”

I open my mouth and then close it. How do I say that Andre needed my help? That his business is going under and he wants me to leverage my contacts—leverage Leo—to bail him out?

"See?" Leo's voice is now empty. "You still won't tell me. Not now, even after I caught you, you still won’t tell me the truth." 

“That his business is going under,” I say quickly, the words tumbling out. “He sought my assistance. He was wondering if I could—”

“Let me guess.” Leo’s jaw tightens. “He wanted you to go to me for help. Use your connection with me to turn around his failed business.”

My silence confirms it.

“Jesus Christ.” He turns his back to me, hands on his hips, head bowed. “And you thought 
…For one second, I admit. “Just for a second I thought—”

“You thought what?” He spinsback around. “You were going to help the guy who cheated on you? Who left you for your stepsister? Who shattered your heart?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” I’m crying more now, I can barely see through my tears. “I was mixed up, and he was in a tight spot, and I—”

“You what? Fell sorry for him?” Leo’s incredulous voice. “Despite all the things he did to you, you regret him?”

“No! I don’t know! I just—” I place my hands over my mouth. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“That’s clear enough.” His voice was cold now, distant. “’Cause if you’d had your wits about you, you never would’ve met up with him in the first place. ”

“I know that now—”

“Do you?” He backs away, putting some space between us. “’Cause from where I’m standing, it’s looking a lot like you’re still excusing him. Still defending him.”

“I’m not defending him—” 

"Then why didn't you tell me?" The question comes out raw and painful. "That's what I keep coming back to, Lisa. Why would that be? If there was nothing to hide, nothing wrong with what you were doing, why lie about it?"

"Because I knew you'd be angry—"

"I’m not angry that he contacted you!" His voice breaks. "I’m so angry you lied to me about it! I'm mad that you shut me out for a week. I'm angry that I got my information by accident instead of you trusting me enough to tell me?"

"I do trust you—"

"No, you don't." He shakes his head, and the look on his face turns my heart to ice. "If you trusted me, you would have told me the second he called. You should’ve let me help you with it. But go ahead and take care of it. But instead, you handled it alone. You met with him alone. All these decisions you made yourself? Without me."

"I was trying to protect you—"

"I don't need you to protect me!" His shout echoes down the street. "I want you to be honest with me! I want you to trust me! I need—" His voice breaks. “I want to feel like I matter to you.”

"You do matter—"

"Do I?" Now his eyes are full of tears. "Because I don't get that. And I’ve never been there, but I guess it’s ‘Because it’s the warm seat in the room.’ That means since your ex walked in, I’m somebody who doesn’t count on this planet. Everything we've built, everything we've grown to be—it all just vanished."

"That's not true—" 

"I was thinking. Thinking about how to mend us. But I can't fix what I don't know is broken."

"Nothing’s broken—"

"Everything’s broken, Lisa!” His voice completely breaks up."You broke it, when you started keeping things from me." When you decided that whatever he desired was more precious than our love."

"I never thought that—"

"Then what did you think?" He’s pleading now, starved for an explanation that feels right. "Help me understand. Because all I can think about right now is that maybe, just maybe, you still have feelings for him," he says.

"I don't!" I reach for him, but he retreats back."Leo I love you", but only You I swear—"

"Then why?" The question is nothing more than a whisper now, as if he’s struggling to breath. 
"Why did you do this to us?"

“I can’t do this,” he says softly.

"Leo, please—"

"I want to be alone." He pops the lid of his car. “I have to think. To decide if I can trust you again.”

"Don’t leave," I plead, holding onto his arm. "Please, we can get through this—"

“How?” He looks at me, and I want to reach out and take his eyes so he doesn’t have to see. "How on earth do I get over you lying to me? How do I know you won’t do this next time he calls?”

"I'm not—"

“You said you would tell me the truth, too. But you never did." He slowly pries my hand away from his arm. “I need a little time, Lisa. I need to see whether this—if we—are something worth fighting for.”

I hear the words, and it’s like a stab to my chest. “We are worth fighting for, of course—”

“Are we?” He gets in the car, and through the open door I glimpse tears streaming down his face. "Because as far as I can tell, you’re not really thinking that."

"Leo—"

But he is already shutting the door, already turning the engine on. I pound on the window, frantic, but he won’t meet my eyes.

“Please!” Now I’m sobbing, struggling to draw breath. “Don’t do this, please don’t do this!”

The car backs off, and I chase after it, yelling out his name until I lose my voice. But he won’t stop.

He doesn’t come back.

Barefoot and crying, I stand in the middle of the street and watch his taillights fade into the darkness.

Then I know what I did.

I've blown the best thing that ever happened to me. For a man who destroyed me first.