Chapter 19 Lusting after you.

Chapter 19 Lusting after you.
Selina sat in the cottage long after Alan left, her fingers tracing the faint outline of his handwriting on the map he had shown her. The ink was slightly smudged at the corners, where his hand must have pressed too hard against the paper. Everything about him carried that same intensity, too much feeling, too much danger, too much of everything she had tried to keep out of her life.
But now it was too late.
She folded the papers carefully and tucked them beneath a loose floorboard. The old wood creaked beneath her fingers, a small sound swallowed by the wind outside. Through the window, she could see the long stretch of the garden bathed in late afternoon light, the shadows growing longer, reaching like quiet warnings toward the house.
By the time she returned inside, the house felt different, quieter, heavier, as if it sensed the secrets that lingered in its walls. Rosa greeted her in the foyer with a polite nod.
“Mr. Allen returned early, ma’am,” she said.
Selina’s stomach clenched. “Early? From the city?”
“Yes. He asked me to tell you dinner will be at eight.”
Selina smiled faintly, masking her unease. “Thank you, Rosa.”
As the maid left, Selina climbed the stairs slowly. Nathan’s study door was closed, but she could hear the faint hum of his voice from inside, low and controlled, the kind of tone he used when speaking to people who mattered. She lingered just long enough to catch the rhythm of his conversation, then forced herself away before curiosity got the better of her.
In her room, she sat at the vanity, brushing her hair with deliberate calm. The reflection staring back at her looked like someone she didn’t recognize, a woman with tired eyes and the kind of poise that comes from too much pretending.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” she said softly.
Alan entered without hesitation. He was still in his dark jacket from earlier, his hair slightly disheveled from the wind. He looked both restless and sure of himself, the way only he could.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she whispered, glancing toward the hallway.
“He’s busy,” Alan said simply, stepping closer. “We have a few minutes.”
“You’re reckless.”
“And you love that about me,” he murmured, a teasing edge to his voice.
Selina sighed, setting the brush down. “You can’t keep showing up like this. It’s dangerous.”
“Everything about us is dangerous,” he replied. “You knew that from the start.”
She rose from her chair, crossing her arms. “You talk like you’ve already decided for both of us.”
Alan’s expression softened. “Maybe I have. You’re not the only one with something to lose, Selina. But I’m willing to risk it.”
Her pulse quickened. “Why? Why keep pushing when you know what could happen?”
He took a slow step forward, closing the distance between them. “Because I can’t stand watching him treat you like you’re invisible. You deserve more than a husband who sees you as part of the furniture.”
Selina turned away, the words cutting too deep. “You think you understand, but you don’t. Marriage isn’t just love or passion, it’s duty. It’s survival.”
Alan’s voice was low but firm. “Then stop surviving and start living.”
She faced him again, her breath uneven. “You make it sound so simple.”
“Because it is,” he said quietly. “If you want something, you take it. If you love someone, you fight for them.”
The word love hung in the air like static. Selina froze, her thoughts spinning. He hadn’t said it before, not like that, not without teasing.
“You don’t mean that,” she said finally.
He smiled faintly. “Don’t I?”
Before she could answer, footsteps echoed in the corridor. Alan stiffened, his gaze darting toward the door. Without a word, he moved behind the wardrobe just as the handle turned.
Nathan stepped in, his expression composed as always. “Selina.”
Her voice came out steady, though her pulse thundered. “Nathan. You’re home early.”
“I finished what I needed to,” he said, crossing the room. His eyes flicked briefly toward the open window, then back to her. “You look pale. Have you been outside?”
“Yes. Just the garden.”
He nodded slowly, studying her face. “I see.”
The silence that followed was unbearable. Every second stretched thin, fragile. Alan’s shadow remained hidden behind the wardrobe, silent as stone.
Nathan’s gaze drifted to the brush on the vanity. He picked it up, running his fingers over the handle. “Do you remember when I bought you this?”
Selina nodded. “Of course.”
“It was in Florence,” he said quietly. “You told me you loved the craftsmanship.”
“I still do.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Strange how time changes what we cherish.”
She forced a gentle laugh. “You’re being philosophical tonight.”
“Maybe.” He set the brush down carefully. “Or maybe I’m just wondering what else has changed.”
Selina met his gaze, holding it. “Nothing has changed.”
Nathan’s eyes lingered on her for a moment too long. “Good,” he said finally. “I’d hate to think I’ve been blind.”
He turned and left without another word. The click of the closing door was the loudest sound in the room.
Selina released the breath she’d been holding. Alan emerged from behind the wardrobe, his jaw tense.
“That was too close,” she whispered.
Alan gave a humorless laugh. “You think?”
“You should go,” she said quickly. “Before someone sees you.”
He didn’t move. “I’m not leaving you alone with him tonight.”
“Alan, ”
“I mean it.” His tone was sharp now, threaded with something like fear. “He’s watching you. I saw it in his face.”
Selina’s hands trembled. “What are we going to do?”
Alan moved closer, his voice low. “We stay careful. Smarter than him. No calls on the main line, no unexpected visits. We’ll use the cottage, or the old guesthouse near the gate. Fewer cameras there.”
“Cameras?” she echoed.
He nodded grimly. “I found one in the east hallway this morning. Hidden near the molding.”
Her stomach dropped. “He’s spying on me?”
“On both of us, probably.” Alan’s gaze softened as he saw the panic in her eyes. “That’s why I need you to trust me now more than ever.”
Selina pressed a hand to her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. “This is getting out of control.”
“It already is,” Alan said quietly. “That’s why we can’t afford to fall apart.”
The vulnerability in his voice startled her. For all his arrogance, for all his confidence, there was something raw there, a fear she hadn’t seen before.
She touched his arm gently. “Alan… I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
He looked at her, a flicker of emotion crossing his face. “Too late for that.”
A long silence followed. The air felt heavy with everything unsaid.
Finally, he turned to leave, but before stepping through the door, he looked back. “Be careful tonight. And whatever happens, don’t let him see you’re afraid.”
When he was gone, Selina sat on the edge of the bed, her hands trembling. Outside, the wind had picked up, rattling the windowpanes. The house seemed to creak with secrets.
Later, she found herself wandering the hall, unable to sleep. She paused outside Nathan’s study; the door was slightly ajar. Light spilled through the crack. She could hear him speaking softly on the phone.
“…yes, I’m sure,” he was saying. “I’ve seen the way she looks at him. It’s only a matter of time.”
Selina’s blood ran cold.
“I want confirmation,” Nathan continued. “The investigator’s report. And make sure it’s discreet. If she’s lying to me, I’ll know soon enough.”
Her heart pounded so loud she was sure he would hear it. She stepped back, careful not to let the floorboards creak, then turned and hurried down the corridor.
In her room, she closed the door and leaned against it, breathing hard. The truth was clear now: Nathan suspected everything.
But before she could even think of what to do, the hidden phone on her nightstand buzzed softly.
A new message from Alan.
Alan: Did he say anything to you?
Her hands shook as she typed.
Selina: He knows something. He’s looking into us.
There was a long pause before his reply came through.
Alan: Then we change the plan. Tomorrow. Meet me at the gatehouse. We end this before he does.
Selina stared at the screen, her heart heavy. End this. The words could mean anything, escape, confrontation, or something darker.
She looked toward the window, where the moonlight fell across the garden, pale and cold. Somewhere out there, she knew, Alan was already thinking ahead, already plotting the next move.
And somewhere inside the same house, her husband was listening, calculating, waiting for proof.
The game they had started was closing in on all of them.
As Selina turned off the light, she didn’t notice the faint shadow moving outside her door, the quiet figure of Nathan, standing in the hallway, his expression unreadable as he listened to the echo of her voice through the thin walls.
He had heard enough to know one thing.
His wife was lying.
And whatever secret she was keeping, he would uncover it, no matter the cost.