chapter 27

My hungrys tomach sent me searching for food early the next morning. I left Isaac and Blake in bed and pulled on one of their t-shirts before raiding the kitchen. It didn’t take long for me to settle on ice cream and grab a spoon to eat straight from the container. I was spoiling myself in other ways; I might as well eat what I really wanted, too, I figured.

I curled up on the couch and had just started eating when I heard footsteps behind me and turned to find both Isaac and Blake shuffling into the room. I smiled at their sleepy faces. They were ridiculously cute for two gruff-looking mountain men who liked doing really kinky shit in their free time.

Isaac sat on one side of me and pulled me against his bare chest while Blake sat on the other side and pulled my feet into his lap. They yawned in sync and looked me over.

Blake rubbed my legs and yawned again. “You’re beautiful like this.”

I ate another spoonful of ice cream and looked down at myself. “In a t-shirt?”

Isaac tugged at my hair. “In one of our shirts with your hair all messed up and makeup smeared all over your face.”

I immediately rubbed at my face. “That’s not a cute look.”

“We think you’re wrong.” Blake shrugged and started massaging my feet. “Are you coming back to bed soon?”

I hid a smile with more ice cream. “Yeah. Missing me?”

Isaac grunted. “I don’t want to sleep with this idiot if you’re not there.”

“Speak for yourself. Your mattress sucks. I would be in my own bed if not for Mal.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my mattress.”

I grinned while listening to them bicker like little boys. “Did you always bicker like this?”

They looked at me like they hadn’t even realized they were fighting. Blake frowned and shrugged. “I guess. Probably.”

“Definitely. Especially Julian and Blake. They both think they’re the boss.”

I sighed. “Why’d he leave?”

Isaac went quiet for a minute, like he was waiting on Blake to explain, but when Blake didn’t jump in, he finally spoke up. “There’s a history here that has nothing to do with you. I mean, it’s not your fault, and him leaving doesn’t reflect on how he feels about you.”

“What is it?”

Blake grabbed my ice cream and shoved a big bite into his mouth while gesturing for Isaac to go on.

Isaac swore. “You’re a dick.”

I rested my cold hand on Isaac’s thigh. “Tell me.”

He grabbed my hand and rubbed it to warm it before speaking. “Our last girlfriend. Grace. She did some damage.”

I frowned, an ugly feeling of jealousy rearing its head. “What’d she do?”

Blake finally decided he could comment. “What didn’t she do, honestly?”

“She nearly broke us apart. Julian hasn’t been the same since. Not with us. He’s just so angry all the time.” Isaac sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. “She was fucking awful, and we didn’t see it.”

“She was jealous of how close we were. Despite the fact that we were serious about her. We cared for her and took care of her. She still couldn’t handle our relationship to each other, though. It was sick.”

I made a face. “She got involved with triplets. Did she think you three wouldn’t be close?”

“She just decided she needed more and more. She started doing little things to push Julian out. We didn’t know it was happening until it was almost too late. Julian had been alienated and didn’t trust us anymore. While she was turning us against him, she was breaking him down. She wouldn’t let him touch her.”

Blake winced. “We weren’t careful with him. She told us things about him, and we believed them, despite knowing better.”

My chest ached for Julian, and I found myself wishing he would walk through the door so I could hold him. “That’s so awful. Why’d she do that to him?”

“Money. At least that’s what we assumed. Blake has the lumber company and I have the ranch. Julian never wanted anything for himself. He was happy to just work with us, doing whatever was needed. It seemed like Grace realized she couldn’t get anything else from Julian, so she cut him out.”

“What a fucking bitch.” I took the ice cream back from Blake and ate another bite. “I mean, just a raging bitch. I can’t believe she would do that to him.”

Isaac combed his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Yeah. It was shocking that Julian even joined us last night. It shows how much he likes you.”

“It also shows that we picked right this time. You’re perfect for us.”

My stomach sank as I thought of the secret I was holding back from all of them. I was hiding something huge from them. I was hiding Julian’s son from him. I had been for a year. I had to believe that would hurt him.

It was something I’d never worried about before. I had only thought of myself and Hank. I’d never considered what not knowing about Hank might do to Julian. I put my hand over my mouth and winced, wondering what I was going to do.

“Mal?”

I looked up at Isaac and tried to clear away the panic from my face. “Yeah?”

“You okay?”

I nodded roughly. “Brain freeze.”

There I went, lying again. They’d invited me into their home and business, trusted me with their secrets, trusted me with Julian, and there I was, lying. My stomach cramped as I thought about what I’d done and what I was going to do.

“Let’s go back to bed.” Isaac stretched and pulled me up. “You need more sleep.”

I wasn’t sure I’d ever sleep again. I’d seen the cracks in their relationship. I’d seen the way Julian seemed to exist on the outside and I felt like I was going to hurt them even more. I handed the ice cream to Blake when he reached for it and silently went back to the bed. Crawling into the middle, I was sandwiched by them and held while they fell asleep pretty much right away.

I’d known getting involved with them was a dangerous thing to do, but I hadn’t figured on it hurting them. My worst nightmares had been about sharing custody with a man I didn’t know at all. I’d been worried about losing Hank, even partially.

It was too late to change anything, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like a piece of shit. I was so selfish.

I was also terrified about what happened next. I couldn’t keep things a secret forever. I liked the guys. I even liked Julian’s rough personality. I liked being with them and feeling like I fit with them. Their comments about me being perfect for them had slipped through the cracks in my armor and built little shrines of a future. I was thinking about dating, something I hadn’t allowed myself to do in too long.

None of my feelings mattered, though, because I’d hidden something so huge from them. They were going to hate me. They were going to think I was a liar, like Grace.

And who the hell was Grace? Was she still in town? Could I find her and punch her in the boob for hurting them? Maybe I needed to punch myself in the boob.

I shifted between my two burly men, men who I had no right to really claim. I wanted them. I wanted Julian. It might not matter, though. Not after they found out about Hank.

“Whatever it is, we’ll sort through it, Mal.” Isaac’s calm voice was a soothing balm that I didn’t feel like I deserved.

Still, I turned my face into his chest and squeezed my eyes shut to hold the tears in. I didn’t know how he was reading me. I thought he was sleeping, but he was still there, trying to take care of me.

“It’s okay, baby. Cry if you need to.” Blake wrapped his arm around my stomach and kissed my shoulder. “We’re here.”

“Why?” My voice broke as I said it, and the tears came hard and fast.

Isaac stroked my hair. “If you haven’t noticed, we like you.”