Twelve years ago
"Jemmy!" I heard my father beckon from the living room. He was the only one who addressed me as such. Others referred to me as Jemima or Jemma. Mother was not home, but my elder sister Ava was. I pondered the reason behind my father's summoning of me, particularly since Ava was in his company when he called. I contemplated this to myself as I complied and entered the room, met by their cold glares. I did not even flinch. Their harsh treatment had become so routine that it no longer affected me. I approached my father methodically and seated myself next to him on the bed.
I was keenly aware of my sister's unwarranted hatred towards me, as she persistently fabricated lies about me, effortlessly persuading others to unquestioningly accept her narrative without seeking my input or confirming the truth in her claims. Regrettably, she held a favored position in the eyes of my parents, while I was unjustly relegated to the role of the family's black sheep. My enigma remains: what fuels her intense disdain towards me?
"Daddy, the rest is up to you now," she uttered before departing the room, locking it from the outside. I did not understand what she meant, i moved to the door and she had locked the door behind her. What could this mean? Why would she take such action? Had I done something wrong and about to face the repercussions?
"Daddy, what is happening?" I asked, feeling a sense of alarm. I stood up from the bed and noticed my father's gaze fixed upon me.
"Jemmy, simply be obedient and cooperative," he instructed, guiding me to sit beside him and shifting his hand to caress my maturing breast. My father had never showed affection kindness towards me before. His sudden change in behavior left me suspicious. Intuitively, I jolted into an upright position in fear and hastily retreated to the most distant corner of the room.
I had attended sex education classes and was taught to never have sex unless it was with my spouse or I felt ready. Getting good grades, going to college, getting a first class degree was what we were taught to focus on. And like every normal girl, I wanted that too. My father did not fit the criteria of a spouse and I did not feel ready either.
"Looks like I would have to go tough on you then", he said, closing the distance between us in just one stride. How was he so quick? He grabbed me roughly by the hands and dragged me to his bed. I tried struggling when I realized what was about to happen, but it was effortless. I had seen and heard a lot about rape too not know I was about to become a victim of it.
And that too, by my father. My father! Was not the father one who is supposed to love and protect his children from dangers?.
No matter how much I screamed and shouted for Ava to help me, it did not solve anything. Where was she? And why was no one hearing me? Maybe Ava was being threatened? Was she in the same problem too?
My train of thought somehow disappeared as I felt the cold metal of cuffs wrapped against my wrist on either side of the bed post. I closed my eyes tightly, willing for this to all be a very horrible dream. I trashed my feet around in protest but I felt him bind them in a rope. I kept screaming loudly until my throat felt sore but he ignored my pleas and kept up with what he was doing. I waited, breathlessly. They say your first time is meant to be magical and that you were supposed to feel something. A pull? A connection? I did not feel any of those but I felt something quite alright, I felt excruciating pain that seemed like my world crashing in on me. And as if that was not enough, I counted as he went on and on for more rounds. Four times! He had went on for four times.
When he finally stilled, I opened my eyes and saw a twitch in the corner of his right lips before it disappeared. He smirked satisfactorily. I was in excruciating pain and he looked satisfied as he untied me and ordered Ava to come in. He ordered Ava to come in which meant she had been close by all along. If so, why didn’t she help me?
My mind buzzed with questions but my body was too weak to do anything.
"Get her cleaned up, your mother will be back soon with the guest," he said once Ava entered the room.
"Yes father," she replied beaming all over. What was she all smiles about?.
"Ava why?", I asked once father was out of ear shot.
"Oh shut up, get up and get yourself cleaned!" she spitefully said.
I tried getting up but fell right back into the mess of blood spreading around the bed. The pain between my thighs was just too much that it made me wonder what I did to deserve so much hatred from everyone.
I slowly stood up and dragged myself to the bathroom, washed up and mopped the floor all by myself all the while with tears dripping from my eyes.
Each movement I made, made my entire body ache with soreness. I stared at myself in the mirror for a few seconds and noticed how swollen and red my eyes were from weeping. And in that moment, I realized that I had no family anymore.
My father had violated me and made me feel very dirty. I was never going to feel the same again.
I splashed some cold water against myself and dried it up with a towel. I came out of the bathroom only to be met face to face with Ava chewing a bubble gum haughtily.
My knees shook fervently with pain and I fell to the ground, not able to hold up any longer.
"Now go, I'm sure mother is back and waiting for you!" she groaned, eyeing my helpless form on the floor with disgust pouring out of her eyes.
I only nodded as I could not muster up enough strength to talk. My eyes felt like they were broken because the tears would not stop falling. I finally mustered up enough strength to stand up and I left the room to meet my mother. I couldn't blame Ava for feeling disgusted with me. I felt disgusted with myself too. I wanted to rip off my flesh from my body.
"Aha, Mr Jon, here is Jemima." Mother stated, smiling indignantly at me but I only stared hard at the floor, furiously holding back the tears that threatened to flow from my eyes. I felt so weak that I was barely able to stand on my own.
I just wanted the to slump and die.
"What? She is just a child! I can't buy her, I've got a son around her age” the so called Jon stated.
"Are you sure you're the leader of the Mafia or you are just a fluke? If you want, i will double the money", my mother retorted almost threateningly. I was being sold off!
"Fine, I will take her!", he said with a sly edge to his tone.
All these while, my father sat there, reading his newspaper, not caring that I was being bargained for. Such a good father he was!
"Come on child", Jon said softly grabbing me by the hand but I instinctively flinched and moved closer to mother for safety. Safety? Who was I kidding?
"Mother, please don't sell me off, please!" I still pleaded but she didn't even spare me a glance. I immediately knew there was no help for me. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Ava smirking triumphantly and that hurt more than anything else had. I gave up as I watched Jon hold my hand almost gently and led me to his car. I cried and wailed for my mother to not give me up, to not sell me off to strange people. I cried and begged as I was dragged out of the house I had grew up in. I pleaded with teary eyes to be in a home I was no longer wanted.
“Mum!” I screamed for her to listen to my pleas, to understand the fear and desperation in my voice. Not only was it hopeless, but my cries fell on deaf ears as I was taken away, leaving behind everything I had ever known. The sense of abandonment and betrayal weighed heavily on my young heart as I was thrust into a world of uncertainty and unfamiliarity. Despite my protests, I was powerless to change my fate, forced to accept a reality that was beyond my control.
I felt a sense of dread as the car started moving, taking me further away from everything familiar. The tears continued to flow down my cheeks, my heart heavy with sorrow and confusion. I could not comprehend why my own mother would do this to me, why she would choose to abandon me in such a cruel manner. The trees blurred past my window, the world outside becoming a hazy backdrop to my inner turmoil. I clutched onto the seat, feeling the weight of betrayal sink into my bones. The silence in the car was deafening, each passing second stretching into eternity. As we drove into the horizon, I knew that my life would never be the same again. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the reality of my situation, but the truth remained, unyielding and unforgiving.
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