Chapter 11 Not Fit To Be A Luna

Chapter 11 Not Fit To Be A Luna
Catherine was serious. She wants to change me and mold me into something I’m not.

She had told me to change my way of talking because apparently, I don’t speak like a Luna. Then, she asked me to change the way I walk. According to her, a Luna needs to hold her head high, her gaze up, and the level of her confidence should be something completely out of the ordinary. While that sounds so easy to do, it’s honestly not. Because I’m nothing like that. If anything, I am the opposite. 

Catherine took a whole week teaching me how to eat, talk, and do all the basic things I knew from childhood. I guess being the Luna comes with a lot of changes.

Right now, I am different. I don’t talk to people around anymore— Catherine said I shouldn’t. A Luna isn’t meant to speak too much. Not only that, I put on outfits that I am not comfortable with and I honestly don’t feel good about myself.

I feel like a different person trapped in my own body.

Everything feels strange now, and to make it worse, a fragile girl like me who is an omega is expected to train like a Luna. I failed so many times and it only got worse now that Catherine is mad at me for not being so strong.

Maybe I’m just not fit to be a Luna. Maybe the moon goddess made a mistake making me a Luna. Maybe I was meant to reject Axel and someone else— someone like Tasha is supposed to be the Luna. 

A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I look out the window. Axel and his pack members are having a little training. As usual, he seems very focused and strong—he’s the perfect Alpha. Always doing the right thing at the right time while here I am, doing the complete opposite. At this point, I don’t even know what I am doing.

It’s like I do it all but none comes out right, and it’s just awful. I really want to get things right for once. I want to prove to Catherine that I can definitely be a good Luna.

"Hey." I heard a voice say quietly from behind me. "Are you okay?"

I turned around to see Stephanie. I haven’t had any chance to speak with Stephanie since the day at the garden. "Yes," I replied calmly.

"You look a bit dull, what’s wrong?"

"Nothing, it’s just that I’m not in a good mood."

"Care to share what’s bothering you?" She asked.

I hesitated for a moment to think. I’m not supposed to say anything but at the same time, I need to share it. It’s the only way I can get it out of my system. Casually, I replied, "Do you think I’m a good Luna?"

She didn’t think one bit before responding. "I think you’re a great Luna."

I scoffed. "You don’t have to say that."

"No, I really think you are," She said almost immediately. "I mean, you are bold, you are beautiful and you’re trying your best to be the best. That’s what greatness is all about. Most people wouldn’t even care to change themselves but you do and that’s what makes you great."

A smile danced across my face. I love what she said. I wish Catherine were here to listen.

"Thanks Stephanie, but unfortunately Catherine doesn’t see that. She thinks I’m not doing enough," I said. I can still see the disappointment in her face when she looked at me. 

"Or maybe you’re thinking it too deeply," She said.

I looked at her questionably and she continued, "I’m sure Luna Catherine didn’t tell you to your face that she thinks you’re not good enough, did she?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then you should really stop worrying about everything. She may not be impressed now, but she will be eventually when she sees how great you are."

Even though I know that won’t happen anytime soon, it gave me a sense of hope that it would happen. I just don’t want to disappoint Catherine anymore.

I’ve known Catherine since I was a kid and she’s been really good to me. I can’t afford to lose her respect because of my incapacity.

I look out the window again, and Axel is done with his training and he is now talking to the same man he was speaking to some days ago.

Ray. The family doctor.

The conversation seems a bit heated and Axel seems very upset as his voice rises and falls. I can’t hear what he’s saying but I can tell that he’s not saying anything charming. 

I don’t know but Axel seems to get really upset easily. He was like that back in high school but now, it seems even worse. It’s like each second, he’s bickering with someone. 

While I kept my eyes on them, an idea popped into my head. "Do you think I should ask Axel to train me? He could be good at doing that."

"I’ve never seen Alpha Axel train anyone before but you can give it a shot. I’m sure he won’t say no to his Luna."

I smiled. If only he sees me as one.

I stood up and made my way to him. By the time I was coming down the stairs to meet him outside, he was coming in.

His attention instantly shifted to me when he noticed me. "Hi," I said quietly.

He doesn’t say a word; he just stops walking, standing, and waiting for me to continue.

"I want to talk to you," I said, stepping forward. "I want you to train me to be a good Luna."

"Who said you’re not a good Luna?" He asked.

"I know I’m not. Could you please train me?" I asked, hoping that he would.

He hesitated for a moment, eyes on the ground, then he looked up to me and said, "We have a date tonight. Maybe tomorrow."

"A date?" I asked.

All he does is nod and then walk away.